Eagle Eye This!

Red Bubble, Double Trouble

2010-04-11T09:36:00.005+01:00

The seemingly meteoric rise of China over the last three or so years has as much to do as the (over-advertised) 'collapse' of western capitalism as it has to do with China's apparent growth. Now, don't get Mr Eagle Eye wrong, statistics stating GDP growth of 8.48% during the economic shite-pit of 2009 are impressive. Suspiciously impressive, given that China's export-dominated economy could grow at that level whilst it's chief customer, the West, was choking on rising unemployment and debt. US public debt alone reached $7.8 trillon at the end of 2009, 54.6% of GDP (and that's moderate compared to it's total debt; $12.31 trillon, or a staggering 86.1% of GDP). And now that Barack Obama has gotten his way with Health Care reform, America's economy will only get sicker.

Yet, another tidbit has caught the attention of Mr Eagle Eye. Seemingly following in the footsteps of Dubai, China is gluttonsing in a decadent construction orgy, resulting in an ominous level of oversupply (as of late 2009 22.4% of Beijing's office buildings were vacant, with many more under construction). Mr Eagle Eye will say this now about property bubbles; they are the foreshadow of particularly nasty recessions. So it was in the USA, to the UK, Spain, and Dubai, so it will be in China. In spite of the tremendous architecture and design of China's skyscrapers, it's yet another historical repeat of the last days of Rome.

With social unrest already on the rise, in spite of the economic figures mentioned above, the ramifications of a popping property bubble could mark the start of something far more tumultous for China. Given that worldwide leaders from America, Europe, and emerging economies in Africa and the Pacific have come to be overdependant upon this fragile communist state, they will only have themselves to blame for the consequences of burying their heads in the construction sand. The West would do well to get off the Chinese band-wagon.

Labour Gets Potty Over Cannabis

2009-11-01T20:38:00.002Z

Ah, the Home Office, a government department of many tales of smoke, once again weeding out those who are ill-conformant. Mr Eagle Eye has noticed that David Nutt, special advisor to Labour, was tossed out after his suggestion that Cannabis should not be reclassified from Class C to B. And now, another special advisor has resigned over the matter.

Alan Johnson, Home Office minister, has accused Professor Nutt of 'crossing a line into politics'. Now, now, Alan Johnson, you need to sit back and chill a bit, and let Mr Eagle Eye enlighten you, for I, the splendidly wise Mr Eagle Eye, would hardly call Nutt's remarks the smoking remnants of a political rampage. In fact, Mr Eagle Eye points his ferocious feathers at you, Mr Johnson, as the one who has crossed a line, politicising what would have otherwise been a largely ignored statement. Thou built thy stoned throne, now thou can sit upon it stoned, the fumes of wisdom at last permeating your senses! Maybe you, Alan Johnson, can show true wisdom and resign from government!

And now, Mr Eagle Eye shall deliver his peck points with regard to recreational drugs:

All substances considered 'drugs', from heroin and cocaine to cigarrettes and alcohol, are items that give their consumer a desired effect. We consume food for a desired effect, and that is as natural as the hills. Drug-like substances, are therefore natural, and should be legalised without exeption.
The legalisation of drugs would destroy their 'outlaw' imagery, and free up wasted police effort. If somebody wants to consume such substances at their own leisure without being a nuisance to others, they are welcome to it.
Crimes committed under the influence should be treated exactly the same as if the crime were not committed under the influence. It is the crime that the perpetrator needs to be punished for.
Mr Eagle Eye's therefore states that it is at a person's sole individual discretion and responsibility what goes into their body and what effect it has. It is another area that there is no need for the State.

Holy Birdshite!

2009-10-28T21:36:00.005Z

Today was a day of inadequate economo-political stimulus, for no stories of interest have caught the attention of Mr Eagle Eye! Yet, I shall not let that stop me from uttering forth words from my beak that you can read by using your eyes for I shall drag an oft-ignored topic upon the grand stage of Eagle Eye This! for all to see! For unlike the British Government, Mr Eagle Eye recognises that not everything needs stimulus in order to raise up. Hitherto, my ceaseless introduction shall cease henceforth, for Mr Eagle Eye will discuss, the matter of Organized Religion!

At the heart of the great majority of organized religions is the belief that a God or Gods created the universe. In the midst of the vicious battle between the forces of Creation and the forces of pure Science, Mr Eagle Eye throws in his two feathers:

The matter and energy of the Universe, since it's creation, can be wholly explained through science. Therefore, there has been no Godly intervention since the creation of the Universe.
The matter remains that it is uncertain what existed before the creation of the Universe. If a God (or 'Gods', can't forget the Polytheistic religions!) created the Universe, then it is possible that the act of doing so may have rendered the Godly fellow(s) incapable of interacting with it. Dead, maybe?
But wait, aren't Gods meant to be all powerful?
However, just because there has not been any Godly intervention since the creation of the Universe does not neccessarily mean that God(s) do not exist; could just be a real long nap, or just sitting back and watching it all kick off for the past few billion years.

So there you have it! Mr Eagle Eye has reached the conclusion that if there is a God, then it is not all that bothered about the Universe it created, for even though it is all-powerful, it has no desire to use those powers. There is therefore no point in attemtping to interact with a God when that same God will not even make it clear that it exists, let alone interact with you in return, selfish sod! Without further deliberation, Mr Eagle Eye can state with supreme, utter and absolute confidence that to believe in God(s) is an act of whishful fabrication, that is expoited by organized religion.

Therefore, it is not God's fault (he/she/it whatever is merely the bait), but the fault of organized religion that faith has led to a great deal of idiocy, suffering and death, a social-control tool to manipulate the masses for benefit of the puppeteer. Mr Eagle Eye now soars in the skies of liberal conviction, to brand organized religion with the smear-mark of the damned; Socialists!

Dare de Gord?

2009-10-27T17:32:00.005Z

Ah, Mr Eagle Eye is gliding back into familiar territory; Gord-bashing! The Guardian today reports that Brown is attempting to assist Tony Blair in his EU presidency ambitions. Now, considering how Brown and Blair's rivalry is a long-standing and calamatous one, Gord would only do such a thing when there is to be obvious benefit for himself. Mr Eagle Eye is seeing parrallels of their Prime Ministerial pact, and it is the suspicion of Mr Eagle Eye that Brown's fantasy is that he will help Blair become the President of the EU, so that Blair will in turn hand the reins of the big blue horse to Brown once it is 'the right time'.

Our dear leader may also be praying for Presidential intervention in the UK General Election. Although Labour are due a massacre, perhaps the rout may be diluted if the European President gave his backing to Gord. And Gord, drunk on delusion as always, will think that electoral victory is possible, but soon cometh the hour when the Gift of Gord shall be taken away from us, and Brown can finally sober up, and more dangerously, prepare his plotters and henchmen for their subversive goal of European conquest.

Just picture the scene! The United Kingdom, first among economic basketcases, prime cesspool of social problems, Euro-dodger in chief, sceptic of them all, providing two of the first EU Presidents! Being an unelected head of government is something that Gordon Brown is already used to, perhaps being Prime Mentalist is a practice run before he can 'save the world' properly as the EU President, or more hopefully, Presidon't!

Europe, Mr Eagle Eye hath warned thee of impending Gordogeddon! If thou hesitate to taketh the actions of justice (you know what I mean), a reign of Brown darkness shall descendeth upon ye all, from Athens to Aberdeen, from Warsaw to Westminster! Beware the Blair, for he bringeth the Brown Clown in his stead!

Idiot Union Militancy Once Again Destroying British Industry

2009-10-26T19:38:00.004Z

Good evening to you, Mr Eagle Eye has returned to the nest to deliver your order of one part venom, one part insight, all parts Eagle Eye. Being a reader of this here inscription of intellectual decadence, you already know my subject matter includes the Royal Mail.

With the CWU intermittently striking, Mr Eagle Eye is however hard at work contemplating the issue. Firstly, I will point out that whilst being a grunt worker for a postal service is not a fairly pleasant job, it is better than no job at all. This was exemplified when over 100,000 people applied for 30,000 temporary positions, despite a minimum wage pay rate. Whilst the CWU militants are crying 'Poor Me!', there is an army of unemployed people who would love to see the Leftists fired, so they can take their jobs without fuss.

However, the damage already inflicted by the CWU upon not only the Royal Mail, but the economy in general will take much longer to recover. Mr Eagle Eye is of the belief that most mail is now obsolete in an electronic age; there is absolutley no reason for the likes of bills, letters, statements and junk mail to be sent physically. And for that which needs physical courier, there are other providers. And what happens then? The workers will lose their jobs. Why, oh why is it impossible for militant unions of unskilled workers to see this?!

Oh, and what hath we here? Unite, another union of unskilled workers skating on thin ice. Granted, British Airways deserves no sympathy for their business incompetence as they teeter on the abyss, but what will a strike achieve? The shunning of British Airways by their customers, which leads to less business, and eventually, less jobs. Cabin crew is another example of a not particularly skilled position that an army of the unemployed would salivate at.

As in the 1970's as it is today, shoddy workmanship and union militancy is a self-consuming snake that is actually f**king over the workers of the firms involved, as well as the economy in general. To Mr Eagle Eye, the Left is a venemous snake screeching for sympathy as it eats it's own tail, with it's lone and rotten fang of militancy injecting itself with poison. Time to put the sorry snake out of it's misery!

The President Precedent

2009-10-25T17:20:00.008Z

So now that the Lisbon Treaty is effectively a closed deal, the EU will have President of Europe. Whilst Mr Eagle Eye can flap his feathers and peck about manically about how such a person will not have a democratic mandate, this is not a matter that can be contested now (thanks Ireland! A recession is no excuse to allow yourselves to be bullied!), so let me cast my wisdom onto the matter.

The first President of Europe will set the course of things to come for their successors. If the first President is seen as a capable and strong leader by the eyes of China, the United States et al (note the absence of European opinion, for this President is after all, unelected), Europe may be taken seriously on the international stage and punch in it's weight class for the first time since the Second World War. On the other hand, a weak President will continue to make Europe look like even more of an underachieving joke, gasping for breath whilst emerging economies balloon, and the damage may take several Presidents to recover, if at all. There is a man, whom William Hague has warned us of!

And I, Mr Eagle Eye, am in a conundrum! Europe does not have a good selection of heavyweights to choose from to represent this bickering continent. Tony Blair comes to mind, and who else? As much as Mr Eagle Eye despises Blair for his corpulent government that he delivered unto us, he is viewed with some degree of standing in the eyes of those he has not governed, particularly America. Also, for the Presidential role to carry genuine weight, centralization of power and political maneuvering will have to take place, and few are better at that than Blair. Whilst there may be other Europeans whose name is in the Presidential hat, Mr Eagle Eye cannot name them without having to look them up. China will not seriously sit down with talks with President, er, what's your name again?

Now that this Lisbon shite has splatted down to Earth, and the Conservatives will not take us out of the EU, we might as well make the best of the situation we've got. If the EU is to become a superstate with an unelected executive, let's at least be a powerful and respected superstate with an unelected executive! Or we could leave the EU, but Mr Eagle Eye suspects that Cameron has neither the will nor the bollocks.

But the EU is missing an open goal here, staring them right down the f**king beak! It's on their doorstep, and is pretty big. In fact, they don't get much bigger; Russia. Let's get Russia into the EU! Now that is what Mr Eagle Eye calls enlargement!

A Question of Question Time

2009-10-24T18:54:00.008+01:00

Sqwuak, sqwuak! I, Mr Eagle Eye, have returned to this here blog from my unnaccountable hiatus! Unaccountability is currently so in fashion that Mr Eagle Eye couldn't help but fly onto the bandwagon for a bit. Yeah, I was lazy, but it's time to shit out an egg of poisonous political scripture!
Question Time was not a major event in British politics, and the BNP is not on a long-term roll. This was a momentary measma of madness, and it wasn't even BNP initiated. Mr Eagle Eye is of the opinion (and automatically correct opinion, for I am, after all, Mr Eagle Eye) that the BBC was right to include Nick Griffin on an episode of Question Time. Like him or shite on him, McDoom One-Eye II has democratic legitimacy his party has 2 MEPs. However, the BBC handled the show very poorly, with Dimbleby allowing the show to become, as Griffin fairly describes, a 'lynch mob'. Furthering the fuckery was ignoring questions regarding the EU, and the economy, in favour of race-talk. Mr Eagle Eye cannot recall any mention of the economic situation, the Lisbon treaty, or the Royal Mail postal strikes, present and meaningful political issues. The show did digress from the 'let's all have a go at Griffin' mentality for, wait for it, an article, written in the Daily Fail, about Stephen Gately's death. Mr Eagle Eye doesn't care.

The actions of Unite Against Facism and the protesters were an example of those who say they are on the side of freedom actually showing a darker, more authoritarian side in trying to silence those of a viewpoint different to themselves. Mr Eagle Eye states henceforth that Free Speech is not free unless it is free to all. When you start deciding who can say what, that is fascism, so go on, UAF, take this syringe full of 80mg of totalitaricide, and inject it straight up your Leftist arses, and as you lay wriggling on the ground, Mr Eagle Eye shall deliver bird-shite upon thee. Descrimination against the descriminatory still counts as descrimination. Let the BNP say what they want, because that is the way they make fools out of themselves and provide comedy material.

Mr Eagle Eye would like to clarify the direction of his beak in regards to Immigration:

Britain, a traditionally Western nation (race is irrelevant, I'm talking culture here), should promote and defend the values of tolerance, liberty and free-speech in matters economical, personal and social. Everyone should have the right to such universal concepts.
The main issue with immigration is not disrespect of other cultures, colours, whatever. It is an issue of resources and infrastructure. With many power stations soon to be decommissioned, housing shortages, transport capacity at breaking point as just a few examples that come to Mr Eagle Eye's enormous head, the United Kingdom simply cannot provide for the exponential increase of new arrivals.
Whilst nice, interesting and diverse for the comfortable classes, mass immigration is devastating for the UK-born working class, who have to compete with them for affordable housing, social welfare, school places, healthcare and jobs.

Mr Eagle Eye does not like the BNP, and does not like Nick Griffin; but credit to where credit is due. He is filling not just a political void, but a seething vacuum. It is only the history and reputation of the BNP that is stopping it from garnering widespread public support, a glass ceiling with his odd face smeared against it; 43% share their ideals with the BNP, yet loathe the party itself. But In the opinion of Mr Eagle Eye, all a mainstream party needs to do is to copy, paste, and tinker some of the BNP's stances, and they will take advantage of the vacuum that Griffin can only dream of doing.

Race is not an issue, but immigration is. And today, Labour has admitted to their schemes of the past decade, to use immigration to socially engineer the United Kingdom. So, at the expense of future economic and social problems, Labour wanted to achieve what exactly? All this has led for is more people on benefits who Labour hope will vote for them. To knowingly socially-engineer a society for the benefit of the rulers is what the ilk of the Nazis, Stalinists, and Dictators have espoused, and Labour now join that company. Perhaps there is a UN court or the like where this matter can be taken to. A far more merciful fate than what Mr Eagle Eye would like to enact upon the Leftist cretins!

Will Balls Be On A Roll As Heads Roll?

2009-06-14T08:19:00.005+01:00

Mr Eagle Eye has awoken to this Eagle Eye catching article; Ed Balls is supposedly to mount a leadership challenge if Brown doesn't 'Up His Game'. Given that the source, News of the World, draws more parrallels to a comic book than a newspaper, Mr Eagle Eye is sceptical of this, but nevertheless, it is worth a look.

Balls has been one of Browns most loyal enforcers, and for him to publically issue a challenge to Brown is quite a turn around. According to Balls, he will challenge Brown at the Labour Party conference if there has not been a 'miraculous recovery' in Labour's fortunes. Now, Mr Eagle Eye is likley safe in assuming that there is as much chance of that as Ahmedinejad conceding defeat in Iran's elections.

However, it could just be another ploy to cause disarray among those who genuinely wish to challenge the Prime Mentalist

What with Milliband yesterday admitting he considered quitting when his buddy Purnell walked, several Labour MPs threatening to stand as an alternative to Labour, and Mandelson publically expecting further leadership challenges, the Gord is certainly not safe on his sh*tter. He's got quite a few months of anticipation of the next rebellion. But whether the Resistance can actually work together and succeed is another matter entireley!

The Eagle Eye Manifesto! Education

2009-06-12T18:51:00.004+01:00

Mr Eagle Eye knows it is important to ensure that a chick knows how to fly from the nest before it soars forth towards the exciting unknown! Likewise, Mr Eagle Eye understands the pressing urgency for reform of the Education system.

Mr Eagle Eye proposes that education organisations be run privately, giving parents and students greater choice of specialism, maximising development of talent.

Privatisation of schools, colleges, universities and other educational institutions, allowing them greater flexibility of operation and choice for parent and students, whilst maintaining a National Curriculum and leage tables to allow for ease of comparison.
Revision of the National Curriculum to make it more relevant to the practical world, together with increasing the difficulty of testing environments and exams, so that students are capable and confidently prepared for the challenges facing them.
Encouragement of secondary schools to allow avenues for specialisation, allowing students to develop advanced understandings of their chosen path at an earlier age, giving them a great start into an increasingly specialist university and employment world.
Regular liaison with businesses and economists to forecast areas of the economy that would face a shortfall in skills, and subsidizing students who partake into those specialities. Subsidies will only be permitted where multiple, independent experts draw the same conclusions.
Parents who do not have their children officially educated at a private institution will be responsible for the education of their children, and will be under legal obligation to satisfy the standards set by the National Curriculum.

The Eagle Eye Manifesto! The Economy

2009-06-11T22:25:00.006+01:00

Whilst UK politics seems to have slowed to a crawl since the European Elections, I, the ever insightful and gloriously wise Mr Eagle Eye, shall be putting together my Eagle Eye Manifesto! It is suggested you heed it and heed it well, for it is not just a contintent of common sense, more a tectonic plate!

Now, whereth does Mr Eagle Eye begin? To quote James Carville (strategist for Bill Clinton during the US Elections in 1992), "It's the Economy, Stupid!", and Mr Eagle Eye agrees! The economy should be the absolute central cornerstone of any government plan; all other aspects are arbitrary, for if the economy does well, everything else has a chance of doing well.

Now, these are only brief peck points for now, and they shall be expanded on in due course!

Mr Eagle Eye proposes drawing back on public spending and it's associated taxation as much as possible, in favour of a free economy, with free people and free markets.

Cut Public Spending by privatising Healthcare, Education and other public services, as privately run services operate more efficiently. Less value is lost through the financial incontinence of government administration and beauracracy.
Reversing the expansion of, and the gradual phasing out of the Welfare State. This will end the culture of state dependency on part of the claimants, encouraging self-responsibility. In addition, it will further reduce government administration and beaureacracy.
A strive to make the UK the easiest and most opportunistic place in the World to set up and operate a business by slashing business taxes and restrictive laws. This will attract investment, encourage free-market competition and innovation, and increase employment.
A consistent approach to controlling any public spending to ensure that the government expenditure does not exceed income, with the aim to ensure a healthy surplus is amassed during booms in order to help the nation during a recession without resorting to burrowing.
During a recession, any government stimulus is to be limited only to using the surplus amassed during the boom. Even in the event that all the surplus is used, the government will not burrow any money, choosing instead the more responsible action of riding it out.

Electoral Reform? Only because you know you will lose!

2009-06-10T21:44:00.005+01:00

The intense antipathy Mr Eagle Eye feels for Gordon Brown and the repulsive rabble that consists of the Labour Party is something that grows continously each day, seemingly expanding my imaginitive capabilities for disgust. After their well deserved devastation in the local and European elections last week, the odious troll and his goblin brigade have suddenly and conveniently decided that Britain needs Proportional Representation. Labour might need Proportional Representation, but the UK certainly does not! So terrified are Labour that they will be rightfully punished by the electorate for a generation, they are trying to ditch an electoral system that has served the UK well; First Past The Post.

Under Proportional Representation, when Labour get decimated at election day, they will end up with more MPs, as PR gives more respesentation to smaller parties. And that is what Labour will be, a small party, still trying to cling to power with as much charm as a dried on bird-shite that stubbornly resists the cleansing wash. But what Mr Eagle Eye really disapproves of is that coalition governments are more likley under PR. Government involves enough debate and procedure as is, even in the existence of a FPTP strong government majority. PR coalitions will induce only extend the endless fiffle-faffle, adding to the inefficiency of government.

The last thing we need is Labour sh*t-sticking to power in a coalition. This is why Mr Eagle Eye approves of Tory Posh Toffs and Aristocrats in government; they are so used to being powerful that giving up government power is no sweat for them, they can take a loss like a man and get on with it. For Labour socialists however, this will be the only time they ever have power, and they will hold on to the edge until they have to be forcibly ripped back into their real life of being bitter and pathetic bleed-hearts.

Labour have done everything possible to subvert the House of Lords, subvert the Commons, subvert the Speaker, subvert any knid of rule designed to keep them under control, and now they want to subvert the electoral system. F*ck off Labour, f*ck off and take your fate like men, sayeth Mr Eagle Eye! You f*cking socialists are all the f*cking same, all you ever do is take everything to the sh*tter, leaving the superior classes to sort out the mess left by your horrendous incompetance.

Delaying the Inevitable

2009-06-08T22:24:00.003+01:00

Well, that was a bit anticlimatic, poor show, sqwuaketh Mr Eagle Eye! The Resistance seem to be being totally out-maneuvered by Brown's cabal of thugs. But that will only last so long as Mandleson decides to stick around Gord's side. However, it is no secret that Mandelson craves the office of Foreign Secretary. This will give others leverage over Mandelson too.

Now with under a year to go until a general election, time is ticking away for Mandelson; if he wants to be Foreign Secretary, he needs to act soon, and he will sell his services to the highest bidder. If there are any upstarts with any balls, promising Mandelson the Foreign Secretary role once Brown is down would be a good place to start.

Hopefully, Brown will stay on; each week he stays translates into more seats for the Conservatives, and more years of Labour in the wilderness, post election. But whilst Mr Eagle Eye hopes Brown stays on, Mr Eagle Eye wishes him the worst ride of his life, lurching from scandal to scandal, until Labour are once again crippled for a generation!

PLP Meeting. Mr Eagle Eye Wishes He Was There!

2009-06-08T17:00:00.006+01:00

Now is the highly anticipated PLP meeting. But first, let Mr Eagle Eye take you through a bird'-brained tour of the day's peckery!

Jane Kennedy (Environment Minister) is the latest to leave the cabinet in revulsion at the stench surrounding the Brown Head. She quoteth thus:
"I was asked if I wanted to stay in government and if I did, would I give an assurance that I would be in support of Gordon Brown? I wasn't able to give them that assurance and therefore I have not been reappointed to the government."

"I fought against Militant in the 1980s and helped the Labour Party drive them out, because I was applled at their conduct: the bullying, the threats and the intimidation. I can’t stand by and say I am content when that is still happening"

Brown is showing just how much of an contemptable psychopath he has really become; he is judging his senior figures in government not on their ability or their experience, but on whether they will watch his back. His attempts to enforce control by smearing the disloyal with threats of expense leaks seem to be working effectively, but for how long. The Labour government has already shown that it is incapable of governing the country to an acceptable standard, even with their first team. This bunch of brown-nosing cretins will not be any better, and likley to be even worse.

Frank Field has revealed that the 'Brownites are terrorising Labour MPs'. As Mr Eagle Eye alluded to in previous pecakge, the use of fear to maintain obedience effectively constitutes a police state. But police states always fall, as their vicious cycle of using ever more brutal enforcement to hold down ever more persistant rebellion lead to ruin for tyrant.

And that is what Brown is, says Mr Eagle Eye; a tryant. A cycloptic, delusional, overbearing, psychopathic tyrant, who cares not about his party or his country, only on leaving his legacy, no matter what form it takes in the real world, let alone in his own eclectic universe that composes his mind. The parralels to Hitler are becoming more apparent with each passing day.

But Frank Field has more!
"I was one of the seven who would not support his coronation after Tony Blair was shoehorned out of Number 10"

"But even I didn't think a Brown administration would be as inept as this one.

"The Brownites are attempting to terrorise Labour MPs into inaction. If they succeed then we deserve our fate."

Whilst Brown continues his hastening slide into what can only now be described as an alternative reality of his own mental construction, Labour MP's are showing an opposite trend of slowly drifting down from Blair Cloud 9 and telling it like it is, in spite of Gord's spin. When the government is using more spin on itself than the opposition, something is very amiss!

What A Night!

2009-06-08T08:41:00.003+01:00

Mr Eagle Eye is recovering after another late night, but is sqwuaking with triumph!

It was a right-of-centre one-two! Conservatives and UKIP topped the nest! Labour did not do as badly as Mr Eagle Eye had hoped, but Mr Eagle Eye puts this blame at the feet of the Liberal Democrats!

Further Eagle Eye Analysis later once the full results are in. But alas, I am at work, so in-depth peckery is postponed until lunchtime!

Let's see if Gord lasts the day!

Eagle Eye Euro Election; Live Updates and Analysis!

2009-06-07T17:54:00.082+01:00

***Update*** 01:30

Conservatives win the South East with 4 MEPs
UKIP 2
Liberal Democrats 2
Greens 1
Labour 1

***Update*** 01:20

Conservatives win the South West, with 3 MEPS
UKIP 2
Lib Dem 1

***Update*** 01:00

Conservatives Win East Midlands with 2 MEPs
Labour 1 MEP
Liberal Democrats 1 MEP
UKIP 1 MEP

Gordon Brown is 'swaggering in his own sorrow' according to a german newspaper!

***Update*** 00:30

UKIP Win Plymouth
Conservatives win Chorley
Labour win Liverpool
Conservatives win Eden
Conservatives win North Somerset
Labour win Waltham Forest
Labour win Birmingham

London Results are in:

Conservatives Win London, with 3 MEPs
Labour 2
UKIP 1
Liberal Democrats 1
Green 1

***Update*** 23:30

Conservatives win Herefordshire
Conservatives win Dumfries and Galloway
Conservatives win Forest of Dean
Conservatives win Wales. Confirmed! First time since 1918!
Conservatives win Yorkshire and Humber. Confirmed!

Labour in 5th place in 36 councils.
The BNP have just won a seat in Yorkshire. Mr Eagle Eye's feathers are ruffled!

'Nick Griffin will be on Gordon Brown's Christmas Card List' Mr Eagle Eye is laughing like a chick in the nest! The BBC has already immediately put their attention on the BNP, pushing Labour disaster to the sidelines.

***Update*** 23:25

Conservatives win Eastern Region. UKIP Second! Mr Eagle Eye applauds!
Labour win Salford
Labour win Birmingham
Labour win Barrow
Conservatives win Swindon
Labour win Sandwell
Labour win Islington
Conservatives win Walsall
Conservatives win Bexley
Labour win Doncaster

***Update*** 23:00
The Conservatives are winning well, and UKIP are coming a healthy second in plenty of places too. Labour are doing as badly as expected, but the Liberal Democrats are getting mauled.

Results are coming in thick and fast, Mr Eagle Eye has naught the time to do even a brief analysis!

Conservatives win Broadland
Conservatives win Maidstone
Conservatives win Essex
Conservatives win Mid Suffolk

***Update*** 22:50

Conservatives win South Norfolk
Conservatives win Windsor and Maidenhead
SNP win Scotland?
Conservatives win Wales
SNP win Angus
UKIP win Newcastle Under Lyme
Conservatives win Hammersmith & Fulham
Conservatives win Yorkshire and Humber region!
Conservatives win Leeds
Conservatives win Selby

***Update*** 22:35
Sky's Projection for the South East:

Conservatives 440,000
UKIP 220,000
Liberal Democrats 170,000
Green 130,00
Labour 90,000

Labour win Wakefield
Labour win Haringey

***Update*** 22:30

Conservatives win Clewyd West
Conservatives win Wrexham?
Conservatives win Renfrewshire
Conservatives win Cornwall
Conservatives win Cardiff South

Labour coming fifth in:

Ribble Valley
New Forest
Banstead
Isle of Wight
Eastbourne
Guildford
Derbyshire Dales
S Staffordshire
W.Worcestershire
Wokingham
Canterbury
Torbay

***Update*** 22:25
More in! LabourList are doing a good job!

Labour win Hackney
Conservatives win Calderdale.
Conservatives win Fenland
Conservatives win Richmond

10% BNP vote in Leeds and 13% in Wakey.

***Update*** 22:20
Places where Labour is coming fifth:

Epping Forest
North Norfolk
West Dorset
Ashford
Elmbridge
East Herts
Richmond on Thames

***Update*** 22:15
John Prescott has been pretty invisible lately, but Two-Jabs will want to retreat further into his den!

UKIP Win Hull! John Prescott's constituency!
Conservatives win Stroud
Conservatives win Scarborough

***Update*** 22:05
Mr Eagle Eye's beak is shaking from the constant peckery!

Conservatives win Cheshire West and Chester, UKIP second
Conservatives win Sheffield
Conservatives win Rochdale
Labour win Ealing
Labour win Barnsley

***Update*** 22:00

Conservatives win West Lancashire
Conservatives win Hindburn
Conservatives winning in Wales

Liberal Democrats getting annihilated!

66% for the EPP in Hungary

***Update*** 21:50

Conservatives win Wandsworth
Labour win Blackpool

***Update*** 21:45
The North East result is in! Whilst Labour have won, they have lost 9% since their last result here of 34%:

Labour 25%
Conservatives 19.8%
Liberal Democrats 17.6%
UKIP 15.4%
BNP 8.9%
Green 5.8%
Other 7.8%

Conservatives win Blackpool

***Update*** 21:40
They're coming through in two's, it's like Noahs Ark!

Conservatives win Pendle
Conservatives win Sutton?

Or Not!

Conservatives win Bexley
Conservatives win Enfield

***Update*** 21:35
Finally, some Liberal Democrats are poking their nose through the curtain:

Liberal Democrats win Watford
Liberal Democrats win Newcastle

***Update*** 21:30

From ConservativeHome:
"Labour look likely to be FIFTH in South East. KEY POINT: LABOUR IS FALLING FURTHER IN TRADITIONAL TORY AREAS THAN WE DID IN TRADITIONAL LABOUR AREAS AT OUR LOW POINT."

Excellent, excellent!

***Update*** 21:25
It's not all annihilation for Labour! Blast!

Labour win in Manchester
Labour win in Blackburn with Darwen

***Update*** 21:15
The Tories are winning, as to be expected, but it looks like a real battle between UKIP, Labour and the Liberal Democrats for second and third place.

Conservatives win in Westminster with nearly 50% of the vote!
Conservatives win in Suffolk, UKIP second, Labour fifth!
Conservatives win in Darlington, Labour second, UKIP third. Curses!

***Update*** 20:55
The Left annihilated in Austria. Hurrah! Mr Eagle Eye feels like yodelling to the hills!

But the Far Right gains. Bugger. Can't have it all!

***Update*** 20:50
Labour 5th or 6th in the East of England region?

It's a rumour, but Mr Eagle Eye likes it!

***Update*** 20:20
Interesting point that in spite of the Republic of Ireland receiveing large EU subsidies, they still voted against the Lisbon treaty.

***Update*** 19:45
Latest indications from Mid Devon:

Conservatives - 37%
UKIP - 20%
Liberal Democrats - 19%

***Update*** 19:40
Former Labour heavyweight Tony Benn is making a good point that if Labour deliver on a promise for a Europe referendum, their fortunes would reverse. With the Conservatives and UKIP particularly set to win big, the pressing issue is the UK's status as an EU country, whether Brown, Cameron or Clegg want to listen to that or not.

***Update*** 19:30
Nick Griffin is struggling when being asked if he is proud of Black British sportspeople winning things. He tried to dodge Lewis Hamilton by saying he was interested in Boxing, not F1. But was then asked about Frank Bruno, he practically sh*t himself!

However, Nick Griffin is likley to become an MEP...

***Update*** 19:20
LabourList are showing what look like good early showings for Labour in Manchester:

(4,500 ballots)

Labour 1,454 (34%)
Conservative 599 (14%)
Liberal Democrat 715 (17%)
UKIP 407 (9%)
BNP 329 (8%)

But they are 6th in Cornwall, behind even the Cornish Nationalists!

***Update*** 18:55
'If you are a Labour supporter in Bracknell, you will never have any joy, except perhaps the joy of solitude'

Not just in Bracknell!

Early Indications!

26% Conservatives
18% UKIP
16% Labour

***Update*** 18:50
The UK, France, Germany and Italy hold the most seats in the EU parliament. The EPP (coalition of centre-right parties) are set to do well in these states.

States? Oh dear, the virus of European Federalism has infected Mr Eagle Eye! Oh Noes!

***Update*** 18:35
Conservatives way ahead in the South West, but UKIP expected to do well. Labour are expected to lose their only seat in the region.

Liberal Democrats will be battling for third place.

***Update*** 18:30
France and Germany; right wing parties winning
Greece; left wing parties winning.

France and Germany have more seats than Greece does. So ha! Fail for you, Left Wingers!

***Update*** 18:25
Nigel Farage is on the radio. Highlights:

Nigel: 'Protest votes shown in fall in turnout; they say 'go away all of you'. Voting for UKIP on policy. Only people pushing for a sensible debate regarding immigration and open borders, to paying £40m a day to an organization that hasn;t published it's accounts for 14 years in a row.'

Nigel: 'If it's 9 (UKIP) MEPs, I'm gone. If it's 20 (UKIP) MEPs, Gordon Brown's gone!'

Farage seems very optimistic, and the radio hosts are predicting a UKIP share of the votes between 18 to 20%.

Mr Eagle Eye predicts 21%

***Update*** 18:05
ConsevativeHome:
"Labour to lose its only MEP in the South West. Indications from the South West point to a very bad night for Labour and a robust performance from UKIP."

A bold call. Let's see what the night will bring!

***Original Post***

Mr Eagle Eye is ready, and tuned in to Play Radio UK for live results. The worse Labour do, and the better UKIP do, the more Mr Eagle Eye will eat and drink, and the later he'll stay up!

Brown's Opponents Book Drinks Party!

2009-06-07T15:38:00.006+01:00

James Purnell, the former secretary for Work & Pensions, has booked a drinks party at Manchester Town Hall on Monday evening! Along with Caroline Flint, he is one of the few senior Labour Party figures who have grown a pair, and actively called for Brown's head.

Now, one only books such a grand occassion for a major event, no? And what kind of major events may take place on a Monday the day after a second election annihilation in three days? Is Purnell hoping to celebrate with his Blairite cohorts on the destruction of Gordon Brown? Unless, of course, he has another plausible explaination!

Monday day-time is when the Parliamentary Labour Party meet the Prime Minister for the first time after the Weekend of Destruction. If Gordogeddon is going to happen any time soon, Monday will be the most likley day to see everythig kick off again!

Mr Eagle Eye approves of this bravado, and feels Mr Purnell deserves a pint!

Mandelson. What's He Up To?

2009-06-06T21:58:00.006+01:00

Peter Mandelson is the epitimone of a career politician. His ability to mastermind and scheme his way through politics and government for his own self benefit is something that Mr Eagle Eye finds fascinating about the one referred to as 'The Dark Lord'.

The emails have been leaked today, even though they were sent in January last year. Emails are possibly one of the easiest forms of communication to leak, so there is a reason this was leaked now. Mandelson, the king of political blackmail, has something planned for Gord. Try as hard as he might to be a step ahead of his arch-rival, the cyclops will not see it coming.

This was supposed to be a day for Brown to catch his breath before another election catastrophe for Labour. Not to be! Mandelson has only fired his airgun; his real rifle is trained on Brown, and the only reason Mandelson is not pulling the trigger is that he is enjoying the feeling of power with Brown well and truly planted in the cross-hairs.

It's only a question of what will have Mandelson pull the trigger. Mr Eagle Eye will hope to have a bird's eye view of when Mandelson fires the first real shot!

At End of Round One...

2009-06-06T14:10:00.007+01:00

Latest Memo from McMental, with Eagle Eye Analysis!

2009-06-06T11:01:00.006+01:00

The London Evening Standard, in the form of Paul Waugh's blog, has leaked a memo from Downing Street to the Labour Party. It gives the beleaguered troops of the red army effectiveley a DIY on how to, for want of a better term, give Brown a different kind of blow if you want any chance of keeping your job.

Mr Eagle Eye shall henceforth tear it to shreds and litter it with his bird-shite. It is a long and dour piece of propaganda, but worry not, for I, Mr Eagle Eye, shall provide my analysis to help give thou a smoother and more entertaining tide.

So, let us begin! Here is the article in full:

ELECTION BRIEFING: FRIDAY MORNING Tough times for Labour – but not the breakthrough the Tories wanted either.

Granted, the majority of these elections were not in the traditional urban Labour strongholds, but take a look at the map to your right. The only red I see on there is on the legend.

With all results now declared, Labour have lost control of all the councils that were up for grabs in this election, losing three of those to the Tories.

One line in, and it's already been reduced to a denial of reality. Mr Eagle Eye can tell he is reading something written by Labour.

We need to work hard together to come through this recession, listen to the voters, and earn back people’s trust after the expenses scandal. But if we do that then we can be confident that in a head-to-head with the Tories - where the choice is between a Labour party led by Gordon Brown and determined to stand by people, or a Tory party led by David Cameron that would walk on by when people need help most - then we can go forward from today and win.

It's not like it could get much worse for them, but their emphasis that Gordon Brown will be leader would be enough to make Mr Eagle Eye lose his lunch, if he had eathen it yet.

I think the whole cabinet have found James Purnell’s resignation surprising and disappointing. Labour Party supporters were out campaigning hard yesterday and this is the last thing they would have wanted to see.

It was the first thing Mr Eagle Eye wanted to see! And it kept me awake the rest of the night!

James is still in the early stages of his career and I’m sure he’ll be back.

After Brown's departure, of course!

His decision is the wrong one, as cabinet colleagues have said. I think James has drawn the wrong conclusion for two reasons. First, the public wants to send us a message that after a month of hearing about moats and mortgages and duck houses that they are angry about expenses and want them sorted out fast.

And what of expenses claimed by MPs in your own party? The Tories' turds do stink, but that does not mean your shite doesn't smell any better.

Second, they are worried about their jobs and want us to return our focus to accelerating economic recovery. Now those are the plans that Gordon Brown is working on and over the coming week he will make sure that he has a first class team full square behind him.

Like the one that has just deserted him? These new ministers were chosen on their ability to crawl up arse, not on ability to perform.

We now need to listen to voters’ anger over expenses and to act.

By calling an election?

The last thing the country needs right now is for the party to turn inward. Faith in politics has been badly shaken and needs to be restored. Families are worried about their homes and jobs and are trusting us to stand by them and bring them through the downturn. It is already clear that these are going to be a tough set of elections at a tough time for the Labour Party - we’re in the middle of a recession, turnout is significantly down, people are clearly angry about expenses and as the party of government with the most MPs, it looks like we’re feeling the brunt of that anger.

Oh, Mr Eagle Eye's heart bleeds! You poisonous dowagers still have the self-righteousness to plead for sympathy, and it makes you all the more contemptable. After twelve years in power, Labour has created all of it's own problems. After a bumbling toddler has just knocked glass on the floor, do you trust them to pick up the shards?

There are some interesting results. We’ve won seats from the SNP in Scotland and held seats in places like Hastings where the Tories might have been expected to advance – meanwhile the Tories came seventh in the Hartlepool mayoral election. Tough times for Labour but not great for Cameron either.

How selective. You are talking about individual seats. The Tories have murdered you overall. Your hand-picked facts are the exception, not the norm!

Voters who are angry about MPs flipping homes or cleaning their moats on expenses are staying at home or voting for minor parties - but they are not switching in great numbers to the Tories. The Tories got 44% last year, when the local votes are projected into a nationwide vote. This time they’re predominantly in their heartlands but they don’t appear to be lifting off from that result. That tells us that Labour need to respond to people’s concerns but in a head-to-head, we can still win the fight with the Tories.

The Tories may not have advanced much, but you have been annihilated. So, the net result is that the Tories are still kicking your ass.

It’s hard to translate European and local election results into consequences for a General Election. In 1989, when we were in opposition, Labour won the European elections - but lost the 1992 General Election. In 2004, Labour were down to 22% - but we beat the Conservatives in the elections the following year. Sunday’s national results will tell us a bit more. Anything less than 36% for the Tories means that David Cameron is falling short of where William Hague was in 1999. They had 27 MEPs last time - it will be interesting to see if they get many, many more.

Not just scraping the barrell, but getting inside and licking the splinters. Seeing the desperation in socialists is such magnificent entertainment. Hopefully, with them inside the barrell, we can set it on fire and set it rolling down the hill!

Going forward: in the coming weeks we will set out widescale plans for cleaning up politics and accelerating our recovery and reforming public services.

Clean up politics - Call an election
Accelerate our recovery - Call an election
Reform public services - Call an election

Q&A:
James Purnell’s Resignation?
I am obviously disappointed about James’s resignation. The Prime Minister and the rest of the Cabinet are absolutely focussed on the big challenges of cleaning up our politics and getting Britain back to work quicker:
how we guide the economy through the downturn and strengthen it for the future
how we push ahead with reform of and investment in our public services
how we renew trust in our democracy and Parliament.
It is sad that James has gone but we get on with the job of helping people through this downturn fairly. The PM will continue to give his undivided attention to addressing these great challenges facing our country and putting the interests of the British people first and foremost.

The only thing they will be disappointed about is that they didn't have the spine to make the move. Purnell and Flint have been the only ministers with the balls to stand up to Brown, and his increasing level of psychopathy. Flint's tirade yesterday was particularly castrating!

John Hutton resignation?
John is going to step down as an MP at the next election for personal reasons. Really sad to see him go – he’s done a fantastic job. Whole party will thank him for his contribution over the years at Dept for Health and at BERR, and particularly for his recent leadership at the Ministry of Defence, where, in the most challenging times, he has overseen the end of combat operations in Iraq and supported our troops in bringing security and stability to Afghanistan.

A massive dodge of the main issue. Why would Hutton, if this effective, not be on the same side as Brown? Labour showing once again that they only can deal with the issues they want to see, like a child covering their eyes and pretending they are not there.

Time to Change Leader?
Right now we face the two great challenges of this era - an economic crisis that has engulfed the world and caused global recession; and a political crisis that has engulfed Westminster. In Gordon Brown we have someone not only with the economic leadership and experience to tackle the global recession and to steer us through the downturn but with the integrity and determination to sort out the challenge of MPs’ expenses.

"There comes a point when stubborness isn't leadership, it's stupidity." - Nick Clegg.
Oh, Gordon Brown does have economic leadership and experience all right! He was the one who engineered our economic catastrophe. Inheriting a healthy surplus from Major's Tories in 1997, Brown's decadent policies have turned the UK into one of the most debt-laden nations on Earth.
As a tyrant does more to maintain a stranglehold on power, history time and again has shown it to have the opposite effect, with ever more insurgent rebellion from inside, and action from outside.

Has Labour been worst hit by expenses row?
The vast majority of MPs work terrifically hard for their constituents and have been appalled by some of the wilder stories about moats or swimming pools. All agree that we need to take action now to restore faith in Parliament. It’s important to remember that the expenses crisis is not just confined to government but to all parties - and even David Cameron has had to answer questions about his two mortgages.

And even Gordon Brown today has to answer questions about his own two second homes! Few things are more satisfying to Mr Eagle Eye than seeing left-wing wobble-gobs having their own diatride used against them.

What about resignations from Jacqui Smith and Hazel Blears?
Sad to see them leave - both have an excellent record. As Home Secretary, Jacqui has cut crime; introduced the tough Australian points based immigration system; and rolled out neighbourhood policing across the country. And as Communities Secretary, Hazel has led reforms in local government and ensured that we’ve had better local services as well as the lowest average council tax increase in 15 years.

They have even said it themselves, Jacqui copied someone else's idea. Anybody could do that. Crime has not been 'cut', a great choice of word there with Jacqui Smith's record on knife crime figures not one to be proud of.

What are you doing on expenses?
The vast majority of our MPs have worked terrifically hard and are doing an excellent job. They didn’t come into politics to get rich but to help people and all of them are determined to restore faith in Parliament. The old system is dead. An independent-led body will now check the claims of every MP over the past 4 years. We have agreed that in future MPs should no longer set their own pay, allowances or standards of conduct and that these should be handed over to independent regulation. MPs’ allowances are being stripped right back: - no more claims on moats or swimming pools; - no claims on furniture, household goods, gardening, cleaning, or stamp duty; - no more ‘flipping’ or avoiding Capital Gains Tax; - mortgage claims only on interest and capped at a maximum of £1,250 a month; - no more London MPs claiming second homes; - no more second home allowances for those in grace-and-favour homes; - and no more secret second jobs.

If it were not for the leaks to the Telegraph, Mr Eagle Eye has extreme doubts as to whether you would even have cared. All it took was a media maelstrom, and you've all sh*t yourselves. No matter how much you try to spin that the Tories have been damaged by this, you cannot escape the fact that this has hurt you more as the governing party, and they will destroy you in a General Election.

Don’t we need a General Election?
Neither of the two great challenges we face - the economic challenge and the political challenge - would be solved by an election. And the last thing the country needs is for Labour to be talking to itself. That is why the Prime Minister and the Cabinet are focussed on the big challenges that matter to the British people: cleaning up our politics and getting Britain back to work quicker.

The last thing we need is a Labour government! History shows us that the economy performs better under a Conservative government than under a Labour one. Therefore, the economic challenge would be solved by an election.
The political challenge is that we face a Prime Minister that might be blind in one eye, but the real danger is that he is showing us that he is deaf, ignoring increasingly louder and angrier calls for a General Election.

Why are the BNP winning in places?
BNP success down to three things: first, gut reaction of voters wanting to punish main parties; second, very low turnout; and third, their deliberate strategy of attempting to gloss over their racist nature. That means all main parties, not just Labour, need to listen and respond to voters’ anger over expenses; encourage people to get out and vote - which they will do in greater numbers at an election; and all of us need to uncover the true face of the BNP who are led by a man with convictions for inciting racial hatred. Many of the people who’ve voted for BNP are not racist and I think many of them would be appalled by the nature of that organisation as it begins to show its true face.

The other major parties have been taking action on their MPs. It is Labour who have been ignoring their own demonstrations of blatant troughery. Both Labour and the BNP appeal to the same group, the aimless, bitter, benefit-receiveing underclass. The only difference is that the BNP only appeals to the section of the underclass which is British White.

Do you accept part responsibility for rise in BNP?
The BNP are a fascist Party - our parents and grandparents fought a World War to defeat what the BNP stands for. There is a duty on all parties to fight the values of the BNP. We’ve campaigned hard and the PM was out on Monday directly addressing the threat of the BNP - quite unusually for a sitting PM.

Classic question-dodging here. They have not denied their blatant responsibility for losing their underclass vote to the BNP. Instead, another miserable attempt at grovelling for sympathy. Pathetic.

The Tories are saying that Labour is to blame for the rise in the BNP - are they right?
No. We would much rather be fighting the Tories in white working class areas but in many of the places targeted by the BNP there has been no sign of the Tories since Margaret Thatcher in the mid-80s. We know that it tends to be unemployed men who are most likely to vote for the BNP - that’s why it is so important that we reach out to that group - for example, we are giving a guarantee of a job or training place to every young person out of work for more than a year. Instead of trying to get some kind of party political advantage out of this, the Tories should be setting out what they would do to help the unemployed in white working class areas, instead of ignoring them.

Unlike Brown and his Labour cabal, Cameron has the sense to understand that there is no point putting a Tory up for election in a ward where the vast majority of the electorate are unemployed doll-scroungers. And Mr Eagle Eye says this! These people are not working class. Working class people actually work, the unemployed are the Underclass! Might not sound pretty or PC, but it's true, so stop being pussies over it. Maybe labelling them as such would instill enough anger in them to actually do something with their lives rather than live off the state and watch Jeremy Kyle.

Background facts:
Most of the seats are in county council Tory heartlands - and the last time we fought them was on General Election days when turnout was much higher - so our expectation is low.
The councils up for election are predominantly County Councils in two tier areas (27). The three Labour-controlled councils majority (Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Staffordshire) are all vulnerable.
There are also Mayorals - although we only hold one out of the four up for election and that in an area the Tories have traditionally held.

Derbyshire, which Labour has run for 28 years, was convincingly won by the Tories.
Nottinghamshire, another Conservative tide of Blue, with 22 Labour councillors losing their seats.
Staffordshire, was total murder for Labour, losing 29 councillors, and finishing in 4th place.

Highlights so far: Labour gain from SNP in Glasgow (Anniesland / Drumchapel Ward).
Anne McTaggart wins 2689 - 1698 on second stage of transfers Labour gain from SNP in North Lanarkshire (Coatbridge North and Drumboig Ward).
Peter Sullivan wins on several stages of transfers after leading SNP by 37% - 30% of first prefs Hartlepool mayoral results: first preferences only.
Tories beaten into 7th place behind UKIP and the BNP.
Lib Dems losing deposit. Results for Hastings: Braybrooke and Castle - Labour hold with 47% of the vote
Central St Leonards and Gensing - Labour hold with 40% of the vote Hollington and Wishing Tree - labour hold with 43% of the vote

Handpicking single seats, whilst the Conservatives destroy you in councils up and down the country. Highlights? More like a few stuttering lightbulbs! Poor!

After receiving this document of drivel, Mr Eagle Eye wonders how many more Labour figures are due to ignore it. Those following this document and sucking up to Brown are easy to spot; they are parroting this nonsense practically line for line.

More Ministers Quit as Brown Goes Increasingly Fascist!

2009-06-05T16:46:00.008+01:00

Three in a day! Mr Eagle Eye is grinning from ear to ear, eyes wide with vigourous joy, as Brown's cabinet collapses further into it's state of anarcho-fascist turmoil. Margaret Beckett (Housing) and Geoff Hoon (Transport) are now the latest to desert Brown today, following in the footsteps of John Hutton (Defence) and James Purnell (Work & Pensions). And word just in! Caroline Flint (Europe) has just walked in the middle of Brown's reshuffle speech!

That is five ministers in under 24 hours!

And Brown's reaction to power slipping through his fingers is to tighten his fisthold further. After Purnell's resignation last night, Brown's cronies were calling Ministers, ordering to either back Brown in no uncertain terms, or lose their positions. Hated by the electorate, and hated by his own party, Brown is losing long-time Labour heavy-hitters, not due to the effectiveness of the opposition, but because he is demonstrating more and more the trademarks of a declining Fascist; a vicious cycle of attempting to deal with rebellion with paranoia and excessive authority, operating the Labour party like a toy town police state. His attempts to intimidate his own front bench and party are failing pathetically, just like the government as a whole.

Another MP, Ian Gibson, is standing down, therefore forcing a by-election in his constituency of Norwich. Mr Eagle Eye is not predicting a Labour victory.

As for the results of the local elections, Labour are haemorraging local councillors and councils. They are yet to win or hold a local council and have lost four councils so far. Their net loss of councillors stands at present at a staggering 108. The Conservatives have well and truly taken Labour to the abbatoir, hence the squealing! Music to Mr Eagle Eye's ears! And may it please continue, I am enjoying this. The Liberal Democrats are hanging in there but are taking losses to the Tories.

And lastly, the cyclops has showed just how crazed and blind he really is in giving Alan Sugar a peerage. The only reason that Alan Sugar is getting this is because of his celebrity status thanks to the Apprentice. If this show was not around, Alan Sugar wouldn't have had a sniff at such titles. His role is to give the government will be to 'advise them on business issues'. Sureley he could have been doing that without being given a peerage. This is a preposterous, pathetic attempt at populism by the Prime Mentalist, and the public will see right through it. Alan Sugar is unlikley to benefit from this either.

Brown is Losing It, Losing his Cabinet, Losing his Party, Losing his Country.

Losing the Elections

And soon, Gordon Brown will be losing his job.

Reshuffle? A Pack of Jokers! Defense Secretary Resigns!

2009-06-05T12:00:00.004+01:00

John Hutton has quit! The bubbly must be flowing at CCHQ! If I wasn't at work, I, Mr Eagle Eye, would be opening up another beer! More later! We haven't seen the last of this peckery!

Mr Eagle Eye is starting to take a curious look down his sharp beak at ConservativeHome. Whilst of course awaiting the official word from the big media boys Sky and BBC, here are some of their almost fantastical updates:

"Tamworth has counted and we won all six county seats from Labour in Tamworth borough. Labour now has no county councillors in the seat. We do not need to win any more county seats across Staffs to take control for first time since 1981. Labour and Brian Jenkins looked shell shocked."

"Tories won all four Canterbury seats. Labour beaten into fourth place in every seat, behind Greens."

"Doncaster Mayoral final will be between English Democrats and an independent. So much for a Labour stronghold!"

"Surrey is now a Labour-free zone."

"Tom Garrod, a nineteen year-old Conservative with cerebral palsy has won in Great Yarmouth." Good job kid, Mr Eagle Eye is proud of you.

"Eleven gains in Devon for the Conservatives, ten from the LDs. DEVON SET TO GO BLUE."

What Clegg said in PMQ's was absolutley right. The real battle is between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats, with Labour getting trampled underfoot in the melee.

Welcome to Gordogeddon; Brown is Toast.

2009-06-05T07:24:00.005+01:00

Mr Eagle Eye has awoken to some rather nice figures.

In Lincolnshire, Labour finished with 4 seats, compared to 5 for the Liberal Democrats, 8 for Others, and an immense 60 for the Conservatives.
It gets worse for Labour. In Central Bedfordshire, they failed to win a single seat, leaving the Lib Dems on 11, and the Conservaives on 54. Others drew 1.

At this rate, Labour will need divine intervention to even come third.

The majority of Local Election results are due today, and we will see an insight into the damage done to Brown and his poisonous cabal. This is getting exciting!

Eagle Eye Election; Live Updates and Analysis

2009-06-05T03:46:00.004+01:00

***Update*** 04:00

Mr Eagle Eye is about to retreat to the nest to try to get two hours of sleep before work tomorrow morning, but if something exciting comes up in the meantime, I shall flap me feathers and post about it!

Let's recap some of tonight's highlights:

The Liberal Democrats have officially won Bristol. Labour lost 8 seats, four to the Conservatives, and four to the Lib Dems.
Lincolnshire is looking to be a massacre, with the Conservatives so far gaining 15 seats, 13 of those from Labour.
Labour are also getting mauled in Eastbourne, finishing behind the likes of the Greens and Independants.
David Milliband will be a figure to watch tomorrow.

Nothing noteworthy to report for now. Mr Eagle Eye shall get his sleep and try to make sure he is fit for work, and more importantly, scathing and venemous posting.

It has been a fun evening for Mr Eagle Eye. More tomorrow!

***Update*** 03:35

Mr Eagle Eye hopeth that ConservatieHome is not some kind of mythic fairy tale, for if what is said there is true, Gordogeddon will become a very firm possibility.

"Labour came last in every seat in Eastbourne behind Independents, Greens etc. 1037 Labour votes from 9 seats"

Labour behind the Greens?! Whilst not a fan at all of the Greens, Mr Eagle Eye is cackling like a chicken. That is just poetry right there! It's beginning to look more and more like, not if Labour are going to be destroyed, but how totally are they going to be destroyed?

***Update*** 03:15

ConservativeHome are posting the following:

"Its murder up in lincoln for Labour, Tories have now gained 12 saets, labour lost 11. Tory vote up almost 10% labour down almost 20%"

"Harlow North Michael Garnett Conservative wins seat from Labour"

"Harlow North & Harlow SE called for the Conservatives in Essex"

"All 6 seats in Tamworth have been gained by the Tories from Labour with swings between 11.5% and 21%."

If this is indeed true, Gord must be soiling his nappies, and quite possibly contemplating the cyanide capsule.

***Update*** 03:00

Liberal Democrats win Bristol, as officialy told now by Sky and BBC.

Liberal Democrats gained 4 seats according to BBC, and 5 according to Sky.

Conservatives gained 4 seats.

Labour lost 8 or 9 seats depending on your preferred media station. But whichever way you look at it, the Labour piggery is headed for the abbatoir, and Mr Eagle Eye looks forward to hearing them squeal!

Upon further inspection, the BBC were correct. The official Bristol City Council site shows the Liberal Democrats gained 4. Sky, get your act together, lest Mr Eagle Eye give you a stern talking to via his pontiferous beak!

***Update*** 02:25

Tamworth is swinging over to the blue side:

"Six declared wards, six gains from Labour. Not bad."

At the moment, it seems to be going all Tory. Where are the Liberal Democrats?

Thank God for ConservativeHome. Everyone else is either useless or asleep!

***Update*** 02:15

Just a quick thought from I, the ever insightful Mr Eagle Eye. It's looking awesome for the Tories in Lincolnshire and Bristol. But these are within their Southern citadel. The grim lands of T'up North will be where they may find the going gets tough.

No UKIP victories yet, but Mr Eagle Eye has faith!

***Update*** 02:00

Lincolnshire looks to be going all blue:

"8 declared, Tories won all 8 gaining 4."

It is tempting to not refer to this as a battle for Labour, but a total massacre. Still, early days!

***Update** 01:55

It appears to Mr Eagle Eye it is only the fellows at ConservativeHome who are staying awake! Then again, it is the Tories who have the most to gain from Labour's self-inflicted wounds.

"Grantham has gone all blue!!!"

"Labour are being crucified. I wonder whether they will be fifth in the Euros?"

"we've taken the henbury ward in Bristol. Good show."

"its official we have St Georges east. BNP 2nd, labour 3rd, LD's 4th."

Nothing yet on Sky or BBC. If Gord lasts the week, Mr Eagle Eye will be very surprised, very surprised indeed!

***Update*** 01:45

From ConservativeHome:

"Just back from count of the 6 Broxbourne divisions of Herts County council. Conservatives won all 6, Labour vote collapsed in all but 1 ward. B£P second in 4 divisions and a close third in hte other 2. Labour fell from 2nd to fourth in a number of wards. I don’t have the full figures available at present."

Again, figures not released officially, but this is looking very satisfying.

***Update*** 00:55

Unconfirmed report from ConservativeHome!

"CCHQ tell me that we have won St George East, Bristol, from Labour, with a swing of more than 9%. Hurrah!"

"CCHQ now reporting that Labour may lose all ten of the seats it is defending in Bristol."

First blood? It's looking good!

***Update*** 00:45

Whilst Mr Eagle Eye preens his feathers and keeps his beak all shiny, a blog by John Prescott has drawn his attention, in which be blasts the Labour cabinet. It makes for an entertaining read. Here are a selection of his comments:

"It seems the people responsible for our campaign were resigned to defeat and were prepared to use the excuse that we had no money."

"Well you ‘got out’ Hazel but it sure as hell didn’t help our candidates get people out to vote Labour. Neither did brandishing cheques and wearing your heart on your brooch. You weren’t ‘rocking the boat’ you were trying to sink our ship."

"I’ve fought 11 General Elections and let me tell you, if we fight the next one like this campaign, we’ll be out for a generation."

Prescott has been invisible through pretty much all this, and has been the least magnetic for scandal and criticism for a while. Mr Eagle Eye views his as the most worthy member in the Labour government. But Labour will fall, as will Prescott, and Mr Eagle Eye will not be sorry for him.

***Update*** 00:15

"Good reports for Conservatives from Staffordshire" as per ConservativeHome. My Eagle Eye is salivating inbetween swigs of Carlsberg!

***Update*** 00:01

The bookies already have their odds on, with Alan Johnson is the current favourite to succeed the cyclops. Mr Eagle Eye has a feeling that it might be Harriet Harman who takes the reins of the three-legged horse.

***Update*** 23:40

Milliband may quit tomorrow, reports the Spectator Coffee House! Things are looking very interesting, with Mr Eagle Eye flapping his wings in anticipation! This is still in the rumour stage, but expect anything!

***Update*** 23:30

Another Labour MP has called for Gordon Brown to go! This time it is Graham Allen who is calling for the Prime Mentalist to take the 'honorable way out'. Brown has repeatedly proved to Mr Eagle Eye that he has no honour. "Of course, the first decision of the new Prime Minister would be when is the next General Election going to be". The plot thickens!

It's Already Kicking Off!

2009-06-04T22:31:00.027+01:00

Less than an hour after the closing of polling, and another state secretary has resigned! James Purnell, secretary for Work and Pensions has quit.

He has also urged Brown to go.

It didn't take long for the toys to start getting thrown from the pram! Looks like an all-nighter could be on the cards after all!

Sky News were very quick to this once again, most likley the first to be informed.

Stay up and stay tuned! The peckery will hopefully continue into the night!

Eve of Gordogeddon

2009-06-04T18:08:00.007+01:00

To the disappointment of the ever expectant Mr Eagle Eye, there were no outlandish scandals or resignations today on the part of the Labour Party. My sharp beak smells that this is just a lull, that the day of the election, the Labour Party has actually thought 'Hey, we need to actually do something here'. It will be a one day only. Labour seem to have momentarilly followed in the philosophy of Hippocrates, "but above all, to do no harm". But this will not last long.

Once the results of the elections start pouring out tomorrow, all loyalty will unravel, and the a lethal free-for-all will envelop the Labour party. Mr Eagle Eye will be flabbergasted and feather-flapping if the letter of no confidence does not meet it's 71 required signatories to trigger a leadership election. In addition, there is also the possibility that Parliament could pass a vote of no confidence on the Prime Minister, therefore triggering a General Election. Even as Mr Eagle Eye pecks away at his laptop, it can be assured that there are cliques of plottery already underway, organising their coups.

Unfortunatley, unlike the General Eleciton, the results will not be pouring in overnight, but rather throughout the day tomorow. Shame, Mr Eagle Eye was hoping to have a beer and pizza-fueled all nighter as a dress-rehearsal for the General Election, but hey good things come to those who waiteth patiently! Still, that won't stop me consuming said beer and pizza. Hurrah!

But tomorrow, with votes already cast and Labour bleeding power, this will not just be the night of long knives. Blair's loyalists will never forgive Brown, and they are planning something big:

“if you think this is bad, wait until the polls close”

This will be Gordogeddon!

** Update **

Mr Eagle Eye is among many enjoying the show. Matthew Norman of The Independent gives us his summary.

"What we are witnessing is a very British form of anarchy. There are no rules here, only blind panic and frantic plotting by members of a headless party with enough nerve endings still active to charge around until electoral rigor mortis sets in.

As for the rest of us, like superannuated Bisto Kids, we stand with our noses pressed up against the window onto the best little madhouse in town, reveling in the sight of the inmates desecrating the asylum they won't be running for much longer."

That's just awesome!

Labour's Fall Turns Into A Collapse.

2009-06-03T21:14:00.006+01:00

Oh what another day of delight it has been for Mr Eagle Eye, as the Labour Party continue on their inexorable slide towards the political abyss! Another cabinet minister, Communities secretary Hazel Blears, has resigned, and the latest set of poll results add more fuel to the fire of Labour destruction! But that is not all! A plot is afoot within the rank and file to depose of the cycloptic carcass at the top, and speaking of said carcass, if words could kill, Gordon would have been culled by the end of Prime Ministers Questions. Let Mr Eagle Eye escort you through the latest tales of socialist skullduggery!

Lets start with the redhead! Hazel Blears has resigned, one day before the European and Local Elections! An interesting theory that Mr Eagle Eye's keen eyes have seen is that it was Blears who leaked that Jacqui Smith was resigning. The reason? Hazel Blears has been one of few ministers publically punished by Brown over her expenses, in spite of the efforts of Hoon and others. She has a bone to pick with Brown, and wow what a way to do it! Whilst Blears will be returning to the backbenches, Brown's tumble down the cliff has just hit another boulder, with a crunching sound most satisying indeed. Let there be more!

Hazel is not the only Labour minion who is plotting. An email is circulating around the Labour Party, with the ultimate purpose of getting Brown to quit. This is how it officially reads:

Dear Gordon,

Over the last 12 years in government, and before, you have made an enormous contribution to this country and to the Labour Party, and this is very widely acknowledged.

However we are writing now because we believe that in the current political situation, you can best serve the Labour Party and the country by stepping down as party leader and prime minister, and so allowing the party to choose a new leader to take us into the next general election.

Yours,

XXXX

And here is what Mr Eagle Eye think is meant between the lines, in gool old traditional Labour 'blood red working class' lingo.

Gord,

Over the last 12 years in gov', we thought you made an enormous contribution to this country and to the Labour Party. But it's now well bloody known that you contributed f**k all, you one-eyed twat.

We are writing now because we believe that the current political situation is all your fault, and you can best serve the Labour Party and the country by f**king off as party leader and prime minister! And so allowing the party to choose a new gaffer to take us into the next general election where we actually might have a f**king chance!

Yours,

XXXX

P.S., You're a c**t.

Mr Eagle Eye expects Brown to just chuck the letter in the bin, discarding the views of his party just as he does those of the public. Labour will have to force Brown out. The ranks of Labour know that they are fighting not just for the next elections, but that the Labour Party as a whole is fighting for it's life. And any creature no matter how ugly or crippled, will do spectacular things to fight for it's life. The last few days have seen plenty of bangs, the start of a wonderful fireworks display, where there is lots of noise and light, to satisfying explosions.

Another day, another poll, another disatrous set of figures for Brown. Within that grey matter there, UKIP are on 18%, which would put Labour into third place. Also, with the Lib Dems snapping at their heels with a single percentage point behind, a fourth-place finish for Labour is still comfortably within the realms of possibility.

Oh, and finally, Prime Ministers Questions! Whilst Brown rambled on about his policies, Cameron and Clegg once again tore him to pieces with just the simplest of questions.

Election day tomorrow, and Mr Eagle Eye is salivating at the thought of what will becometh of the Labour party tomorrow.

Terminator Salvation; the Eagle Eye Analysis!

2009-06-03T20:32:00.005+01:00

Mr Eagle Eye has just gotten back home after an anticipated trip to the local Cineworld to see Terminator Salvation. The movie was not a great and memorable experience, but it would be unfair to describe it as a waste of two hours also.

As a stand-alone movie in the late noughties, this piece had what it needed to satisfy the modern movie-goer; lots of special effects which were good but not too over the top, the cool hushed voices of the arse-kicker heroes and alot was put into this movie to make it seem cool.

But that is where my issue is. Marcus and Connor were so similar to each other they may as well have been carbon copies. Even the other characters tried to attain to this 'super-hard' persona, and in Mr Eagle Eye's view, it is just so boring now. Watch a movie made in the 80's or 90's even, and the characters have their distinct personalities, and it adds so much more to the movie. Terminator Salvation did not develop it's characters to any point that Mr Eagle Eye cared for them, but as all modern movies are this way, Terminator Salvation is a black sheep, among the flock, so no particular reason to roast the bugger.

But Mr Eagle Eye noticed a raft of flaws in this latest addition to the franchise. The post-apocalyptic scenery looks completley different to what was shown in the first movie, and the Resistance seems to be able to freely do whatever they please outside the 'Skynet Zone', with helicopters and jets flying all over the desert, and riding motorcycles in the sun, with Skynet only appearing for the purposes of plot advancement. In the first movie, the humans were crawling around in scrap, in darkness, with Skynet in a much more dominant position, more realistic.

In addition, other stupidity got under my beak. Lucas, in spite of being a machine, manages to pull some totty, whilst Kyle Reese appears to have barely hit puberty. In the first movie, it was revealed that what would sureley have been Skynet Central was destroyed, with the Terminator and Kyle Reese going back through time. In this movie, Skynet Central was destroyed, but no time travel was performed (good thing too, Kyle looked bareley capable of impregnating twenty-something Sarah Connor).

So, all in all, it's not a bad film. It's well executed, with decent acting, and will be a good way to attract new fans to the franchise, but it is not loyal to it's predecessors. But, once the new fans seen this, they are to immediately watch Terminator 1, 2 and yes, 3, to see how a Terminator movie is really done!

Three Peck Points out of Five

They're Dropping Like Flies!

2009-06-02T20:44:00.006+01:00

As we continue on this European and Local Elections week, your ever eager servant Mr Eagle Eye has been relishing in the gluttonous feast of roasted Labour. Today, the Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has effectively resigned, Tom Watson has quit, and four Labour MPs have been barred from standing at the next election! Add to this the embarrasment that the Chancellor cannot calculate how much of his expenses he needs to repay, and Geoff Hoon has also had his pestilent snout in the trough.

Jacqui Smith is resigning, which was 'leaked'. Given that only those closest to the decision could have known about this, and Brown is now so detached from reality, Mr Eagle Eye suspects that it was a bitter Jacqui herself who jumped before she was pushed. She might be a sordid cow, but she's smart, and a smart, sordid cow who has just been made a scapegoat of will not leave quietly. This leaves us without a Home Secretary for the next few days. If we come under terrorist attack, if smothered figures regarding knife crime or illegal immigration are leaked, whereth be the scapegoat, I say? Mr Eagle Eye assumes you pecked in the same direction as I did!

Tom Watson is also resigning. One of Brown's most central henchmen, he was a pivotal figure in the Labour betrayal of Tony Blair and the ascension of Brown. Along with Damian McBride, he was one of Brown's enforcers, allowing only pro-Brown sentiment and crushing any opposed to the deranged leader. His exit leaves Brown with none of his bully muscle that has kept him in charge. Since the departure of Damian McBride during Smeargate, the Labour Party has lost all discipline, lurching from crisis to crisis on a seemingly daily basis. With Watson's exit, Brown is on his own, and due to get even more dysfunctional and mental trying to assert his mantra all by his paranoid self. The thoughts of this alone induce the need for popcorn!

And now time to name four more clowns from this cursed circus. David Chaytor, Ian Gibson, Margaret Moran and Elliot Morley, all Labour MPs, have been barred from standing at the next election due to their part in the expenses scandal. Not only is Labour a sinking ship, the hull is flying apart wholesale. Whilst it sinks and breaks up into floatsam, Mr Eagle Eye will enjoy delivering bird-shites to spatter the planks!

Now, one would expect the Chancellor of the Exchequer to be good with maths and tax. However, in spite of the assistance of a taxpayer-paid-for accountant, Mr Darling still shows that he is incapable of math, unable to calculate how much he should pay back of the money he thieved. How can any business or organization that wants to deal with Britain take us seriously or trust us with money when out top money man repeatedly demonstrates a spectacularly pathetic degree of corruption and incompetence, incapable of getting his head around the tax system he is in charge of. Ed Balls will be no better. The Chancellor position means nothing under this government, it is just another position for a Brown scapegoat; Balls will be dicked within the year.

Geoff Hoon has been caught at it. Mr Eagle Eye is curious to see if this waste of DNA will get trashed in the re-shuffle.

But no amount of shuffling will matter when it's the same oligarchal ogre sitting on the sh*tter in the middle of it all, going crazy and potty in a way reminiscent of Hitler during the fall of Nazi Germany. Brown actually still believes it is a winnable war, even though the country, and his own party, collapse around him. And, just like Hitler, he will hang on to power until the 11th hour, until his inevitable and cataclysmic defeat. Just like Germany remembers the Nazi period of it's history with horror and shame, vowing never to return to those days, Mr Eagle Eye expects Britain to look upon the Labour years with the same abhorred, disgusted memory.

Labour's problems seem to be multiplying expotentially each day as we head towards the polls. Who will it be tomorrow? Prescott claiming expenses for more Jags? Mandleson for a snake charmer? Harman? Mr Eagle Eye can only fantasize of the delights that tomorrow will bringeth forth, his merciless beak ready to peck!

Brown's Got No Talent

2009-06-02T08:26:00.001+01:00

A quick lunchie update for you!

Gordon Brown has rushed his valiant self to the aid of Susan Boyle. How about getting on with the job? Or actually, how about you call an election, lose, and piss off.

Jacqui Smith has been removed from the cabinet. Resign or no, she will lose her parliamentary seat too cometh the next election.

Labour's self destruction gets more corpulent and poisonous by the day, and Mr Eagle Eye is grinning with his sharp beak!

More later!

We don't need no Labourcation!

2009-06-01T21:02:00.016+01:00

This is a topic that has sat at the back of the massive mind of Mr Eagle Eye for a while, but after reading some of the comments over on Guido Fawkes' blog, Mr Eagle Eye is now compelled to add his two feathers. Yes, sit down, get yourselves comfortable, and prepare to once again revel in the delights of venemous commentary and mighty wisdom, courtesy of Mr Eagle Eye!

When the populist red-ragged rabble of the Labour Party got into power in 1997, one of their mantras was 'Education, Education, Education'. More like 'Education, Labour-Cation, Labour Nation'.

No British government before this contemptous brigade of bastardy that calls itself Labour has been so keen to use the education system as a social engineering tool. Labour has continously and disastrously tinkered with the system to ensure that student pass at higher levels than last year, by lowering the standards. Granted, the Tories did this, but it is worse under Labour. Let Mr Eagle Eye show you a couple of pecks courtesy of the aforementioned Guido Fawkes' blog:

"For the last two weeks I have taken time off work to help my son cram for his science GCSE’s, and after a day or two more and more of his class-mates turned up to join the informal teaching sessions. I was shocked by how much they did not know, how little they understood outside the tickbox stupidity of the current syllabus." - Working scientist

"I worked with a young lad who was apprenticed to my old company, had high grades in all the GCSE’s he took - the highest being maths and english. The poor bugger could not read or write to any useful level, and could cope with multiplication and division aslong as he had a calculator. Despite having trained for nearly 3 years in an course, and supposedly well versed with electronics and electrical theory, nearly electricuted himself on half a dozen occasions for the simple reason he could not apply the information he had been parrotting to actually applying that knowledge; and yet he was the smartest of three from the same school but not one of them could successfully apply what they had learnt." - Bad Magic

"It gets worse. When these selfsame students turn up at Uni we are having to waste valuable time and resources providing remedial teaching, to make up for everything they failed to learn at school. This takes time away from teaching the course (in my case clinical science) at the appropriate, University level. This in turn lowers the calibre of the students throughout the course, and leads to the grade inflation to which you refer. UK plc is sinking below the waves, and I see no-one in NuLab who either understands or cares." - Working scientist

"Same at all levels. I recently retired after a working life, first in scientific research then electronic and software engineering. I sat on a lot of recruitment panels, and you could see the knowledge (not the ability) of new graduates falling off rapidly over the years, especially in the last 10 years! We had to spend the first year of their employment bringing them up to speed!" - Four-eyed English Genius

Damning, absolutley, totally and irrevocably damning. These are not just the musings of anybody, or even Mr Eagle Eye; these are the experiences of professionals who have to do the job of actually 'educating' the illiterate, murmur-speaking, finger-counting teenagers who have just got their 10 A's. They may have passed their exams, but they have been utterly failed by 'education lite'.

And take a look at this:
"That’s how newlabour wanted it. Education is probably the first most important thing to give a child, but with more knowledge nulabour must have sussed that the ‘people’ would find them out. Keep the ‘people’ ignorant then we’ll be able to pull the wool over their eyes forever." - barefootcontessa

This sums up just about everyhing about Labour's education system. Socialism is a monster that can only rear its toad-ugly face when the ignorant, narrow-minded and brainwashed outnumber the informed, imaginitive and independent. Labour has tried everything possible to dumb this country down. The BBC has already been the subject of Mr Eagle Eye's wrath, and it has alot to answer for. Celebrity culture, clubber culture, anything that's 'lite', chavs, txt speak to name but a few are the abominations that have flourished under Labour.

The Labour Plan, as Mr Eagle Eye thinks it was all along:

Dumb down the system, so the kids pass, making parents, the system and the electorate happy.
The teens actually know piss-all, and no employers want them.
They go on the dole, and vote for us.
We stay in power.

But what those bird-shite brained commie clowns failed to envisage was that, in spite of the efforts of Mr Charisma Tony Blair (remember, he's the arsehole that started this, but you've got to hand it the bastard, leading Labour to three simultaneous governments is some achievement...), Labour would eventually end up killing itself anyway.

So what have we left? A government that does almost as much damage to itself as it does to the country, a top-marks, yet retarded set of teenagers that no employers, British or otherwise, want. A 'used' generation, discarded like used paper down the sh*tter after it has served its purpose. And it makes Mr Eagle Eye hungry for Labour blood.

Labour, you don't deserve just defeat at the general election. A landslide would not be enough to satisfy Mr Eagle Eye. You deserve absolute and total annihilation, the devastation of your party, obliteration of your support, not a single seat in any parlaiment, house, or local authority to your name. You criminals deserve to be tried in the courts, heckled in the streets, have your progaganda pissed on and burned infront of you, to be completley exposed for the morbid, shite-brained, bastardly, callous f**king c**nts you are.

Leakage! iPhone 2.0 pictures!

2009-06-01T17:22:00.005+01:00

Some time ago, I, Mr Eagle Eye, gave my analysis of a Wired article relating to the 'American Stonehenge', where I also gave Wired a snide peck in the face for posting such drivel as a main article. However, Mr Eagle Eye is pleased to announce that Wired have taken a few steps on the road to redemption by posting an article about leaked photographs of the next iPhone.

When Mr Eagle Eye purchased his iPhone on December 1st, 2007, he had some doubts as to whether the thing would still be considered decent at the end of it's 18-month contract. Today is the expiry date of said contract, and the thing is still working fine (guess the contract keeps rolling). More imporantly however, the iPhone, nearly two years since it's release, in the fiercly competitive and constantly improving market of mobile phones, is still considered the phone to beat. iPhone killer after iPhone killer has been thrown it's way, but none have managed to knock the sod from it's perch.

Below, Mr Eagle Eye can notice some important, but nevertheless expected developments:

The peck on the left shows what appears to be a recording feature (the absence of which was welcome ammunition for the iPhone's critics). In addition, the blue square denotes an area for touch-based focussing. But what good is focus when the camera is bird-shite anyway? Fear not, chicks in the nest! The new iPhone camera is reported to be 3.2Mp. Okay, so that is not great, but it's an improvement. Mr Eagle Eye still feels that the camera will be letting the phone down, like the last model.

In addition to the improved camera, there is also a compass! With the Maps feature, Mr Eagle Eye finds it feather-flapping to fathom why one would need this feature, but, I guess it looks pretty cool.

Digging my inspective beak further into the juicy apple, Mr Eagle Eye has uncovered more features, including voice recording software, and MMS. Yes, MMS, it took them a while, but they finally got there.

Those who read this blog will know by now that Mr Eagle Eye loves to tear things to shreds in poisonous, unsympathetic tirades. But even Mr Eagle Eye has been satisfied with his iPhone, and will be getting the next one soon. Good job, Jobs!

A Man says 'Women Have Never Had It So Good'

2009-05-31T20:32:00.005+01:00

Sir Stuart Rose, chairman of Marks & Spencer, has today quoted that women in the UK "have never had it so good". Mr Eagle Eye is neither aware, nor does he want to investigate into the matter, if Sir Stuart was ever a woman. The logic behind my beak is that he is not a woman, so for him to detail an expereince of what it is like to be a woman is surely a little silly.

And he goes on: "Apart from the fact that you've got more equality than you ever can deal with, the fact of the matter is that you've got real democracy and there are really no glass ceilings, despite the fact that some of you moan about it all the time". Steady on there Sir, you've narrowly averted a PR disaster with regards to pricing of bras. Mr Eagle Eye's advice, which is of massive common sense and wisdom of course, is to quietly leave the topic alone, and concentrate on making money with your company.

Such statements would have credibility if they were actually said by a woman. Sir Stuart has made quite a tit of himself.

Time to Switch Off the BBC

2009-05-31T14:56:00.005+01:00

Mr Eagle Eye's beak is shuddering with disgust at the BBC, eyes glaring white and wide with intrusive anger at the publically funded piss-ant media troll-tribe. In my previous post, I, the ever-informative Mr Eagle Eye, posted the latest set of poll results, and I was not alone in doing so.

The Telegraph mentions it, as does Yahoo! Channel 4 News inform you on their front page. Guido Fawkes's blog has it (along with much of the political blogosphere), but most strikingly of all, the news is on the front page of Sky.com. Other sites have it in their various politics news sections, but the BBC? Take a look at their Politics page and try and sniff it out.

You'll find it half way down the page of one of their articles, mentioned in a way that says 'it's not pro-Labour, better make sure it's buried, but technically, our obligation is met'.

BBC, you have an obligation to entertain, educate and inform you say? Your TV is not entertaining, it's shite. 'Educating' smells more fishy than a Scottish seafood market, Mr Eagle Eye believes it is your spin on 'Encourage them to vote Labour'. The bias of BBC political television makes it nauseous to anyone who can see through your commie veil. And lastly, BBC, your obligation to 'inform' is very selective. Their headline attempts to put the best spin possible on their shite-arse leader; 'Brown pledges MP code of conduct'.

Hey, you know what, f**k you BBC, f**k you! Your programming is shite, your news is shite, your sport is shite, your weather is shite, your website is shite, your radio is shite, your documentaries are shite, your soaps are shite, your dramas are shite, your music is shite, your propaganda is shite. And yet through this unending torrent of your statist shite, you still have the poisonous self-righteousness to demand a licence fee. BBC, you suck at what you do. Mr Eagle Eye instead follows Sky, a proper media broadcaster.

Labour into Third Place!

2009-05-31T09:31:00.005+01:00

Mr Eagle Eye feels today is going to be a good day. The sky is blue, the sun is shining, and the latest election opinion polls are showing Labour are third place! The General Election poll, courtesy of ICM, revealeth the following:
Unfortunatley no info about UKIP, Greens or BNP etc, but whence received, Mr Eagle Eye shall enact it's deliverance upon this site!

A fitting punishment for Brown and his cabal of socialist half-wits! Now then, Mr Eagle Eye must scurry forth. Annihilation of the Labour Party will cometh, and it be cometh soon! Hurrah!

General Motors on the Road to Bankruptcy!

2009-05-30T21:04:00.009+01:00

Taking a nice relaxing breather through his keen, sharp beak, Mr Eagle Eye shall take a peck at this issue that has been catching his Eagle Eye. That is the subject of troubled car manufacturers, with the current scenario of General Motors the subject of today's dose of unsympathetic yet immense wisdom, courtesy of yours truly.

Sympathy is over-rated anyway, so you'll find none of that here!

Anyway, let us commence! Derek Simpson, of the Unite Union, has spouted this drivel from his left-wing gob: "This is why government support is so vital; it's to get through this period to when the market picks up because we've got viable businesses. Once lost, quite frankly, they'll never be replaced".

Talk about clipping your own wings, Mr Simpson! If your businesses are so viable, and they go under, then other companies will rush in to replace them when the market picks up again. That's simple market economics there; if there is a gap in a lucrative market, it will not be long until it's filled.

However, Mr Eagle Eye is of the belief that the car industry has had it's peak, and it set for a long decline, and even when the market does pick up, it will not regain it's lustre. These car industries will 'never be replaced' because, in their current bloated, overproducing form, they are not viable businesses for 21st century Britain. There is no use in attempting to safeguard jobs that are doomed; best to take the hit now, and let the respective personnel readjust their skills so they are ready for when the economy starts picking up.

In addition, the problems facing the car industry do not affect only Britain, but most of the developed world. With many already on, and many more jumping on the Environmentalist bandwagon (which is made from wood of sustainable forests of course) and large investments in alternative transport infrastructure, especially railways, these are but two Mr Eagle Eye has to mind. However, the Car Industry has done a spectacular job of crippling itself.

Governments, Techies, Greenies and of course motorists alike have been pestering car manufacturers for perhaps over two decades to create a car that can run on sustainable fuel, to an efficient, acceptable standard. No model has yet been released that is worthy. They have performed a spectacular and epic fail in regard to basic marketing acumen; know what the paying public want, go make it, and sell it to them. Instead, they have been overproducing cars that people don't want anymore. General Motors are expected to declare bankruptcy on Monday.

In business, one must adapt or die. General Motors, along with others, have not adapted, and therefore deserve to die.

June 4th. Battle for the Future

2009-05-28T22:15:00.007+01:00

What with the European Elections, and more importantly, the fourth Terminator movie nearly upon us, Mr Eagle Eye has huffed and puffed enough abusive energy to put together another Eagle Eye post inbetween his MCSE undertakings.

The careers of two more MPs were as good as terminated today, with Julie Kirkbride and Margaret Moran announcing that they are to 'step down'. A nice choice of words, thinks Mr Eagle Eye; they make it seem as if they have a choice in the matter. But whether at the salivating jaws of an electorate thirsty for status quo blood, or from the slick backstabbing of their party superiors, these two , among others were doomed, doomed I say!

Now, Mr Eagle Eye has said it before, and will say it again, I don't really give a toss about the expenses scandal. If the government was actually doing a half-decent job of running the economy, Mr Eagle Eye wouldn't give a birdshite about how much money they were making, so long as Mr Eagle Eye was rolling in the money. And I bet you would think the same too, oh yes.

Anyways, onto further pressing matters, model Amy Diamond had her top off today, and was painted in the Libertas colours of blue and gold. Her message; have the MEPs expose all, regarding their expenses. Her gold hair even matches the colour scheme. Bless!

But the niceness stops there for Mr Eagle Eye. Libertas are either incredibly naive if they think they can sort out the E.U. and still maintain integrity, or, as Mr Eagle Eye spotted in a comment list at Order-Order, there was an interesting post:

"Libercrass - another fake pro EU bunch of stooges and vote diluters. Who’s funding this shame that is meant to dilute the real anti EU vote to render it toothless - the EU?"

That raised Mr Eagle Eye's brow, certainly food for thought. The UK throws far more money into the EU than it does at it's MPs, no matter how greedy they were in the trough. Remember kids, vote UKIP, join the human resistance against the EU Machine!

Mr Eagle Eye chooses 'Other'!!

2009-05-17T22:49:00.012+01:00

Mr Eagle Eye will be the first to not only admit, but be proud of the fact, that he is a greedy and decadent capitalist. Whilst much of the country is shocked at the MPs expenses fiasco, it comes as perfect common sense to Mr Eagle Eye, who hasn't even risen one feathered eyebrow in surprise. Any person who wants the best for themself and their family will take advantage of any opportunity to maximun effect. Particularly when it's 'within the rules'. Figure this; you can get easy money without breaking the law. What would you do?

It is quite possible that if Mr Eagle Eye were an MP, that he would have been pecking away at the public purse too, and enjoying the party while it lasts!

Now onto our next pecking issue, the three main political parties have had their support plucked wholesale, akin to naughty turkies that have been caught. After the plucking, these naughty turkies will soon become a roast turkey triple delight ready for feasting on by the broader political spectrum. Let's meet those at the dining table who are tucking into the roast!

The UK Independence Party (UKIP)

Simply put, these guys want the UK out of the EU altogether. Seeing as the EU costs the UK taxpayer £40 million per day (that's £14,600,000,000 per year!) and that it does nothing useful except undermine national autonomy in the nations it imposes itself on, that's a good place to start.

In addition, one of their MP's has been exposed as an expense-fiddler! This means that the party actually consists of someone with intelligence and ambition, so Mr Eagle Eye likes them already.

Despite this, the UKIP has been a major beneficiary of the expenses scandal, surging seven points in a week, drawing them level with Labour. Seeing Labour destroyed in such a way that sees them collapse to outside of the top-two, or even top-three, makes the turkey taste even sweeter. But before we get stuffing, let's take a peck at the others!

The Green Party

Now Mr Eagle Eye does not need to tell you the deal here, the environment is their big issue. Already feeling slightly nauseous about looking at their website, Mr Eagle Eye was nearly reduced into a spate of vomiting once he started reading their policies, including their horrific socialistic idealism they attempt to pass off as workable policies. Take a look at some of this drivel:

"Introduce green workforce training"
What's that then? Employing people to use a bucket and spade to clean crap off the beach to throw into one of your wierd composters that will cost more money than Crossrail? Give the workforce training that actually makes them skilled, ambitious and competitive personnell...

"Reduce poverty massively by introducing a Citizen's income"
This is ludicrous, utter insanity. How about not taxing people in the first place? Oh, Mr Eagle Eye is almost overwhelmed by the smell of turdshite that his beak shudders and his eyes cross! Look through the nice 'Citizen' word polish and all this is, is benefits under a different name. Sorry Greens, you can't polish a turd.

Libertas

These Europe-wide fellows are a most interesting brigade; their are dissatisfied with the current shape of the European Union, but they think that the EU has the potential to be awesome, once it's been subject to an immense level of reform. Their call is for total transparency and accountability in Europe, with only elected officals in charge of policy making.

Noble goals yes, but the EU is already a slouchy bloated walrus that takes an eternity to make decisions, even when it is pretty much unaccountable and a law unto itself. Introducing the stringent controls proposed by Libertas would make the EU have even less decisiveness. However, in the slim chance that Libertas took control of the EU and actually made it accountable and democratic, but also efficient, the EU might actually end up being worthwhile.

Most likley though is that these once pure-hearted do-gooders will just end up corrupt troughers like anybody else, who will shy away from their election promises (Labour anybody?)

British National Party

Mr Eagle Eye likes to take a high birdshite on these assholes! Not only are they mostly bitter angry skinheads from the shitehole that is the North of England, but taking a look at their website doesn't require much intuitive inspection to summarise their real goals.

In fact, the first line of their policy is thus "On current demographic trends, we, the native British people, will be an ethnic minority in our own country within sixty years". Quite frankly, Mr Eagle Eye couldn't give a birdshite. A person's quality should be based on who they become, not who they are when they are born.

Mr Eagle Eye does not like skinheads. Mr Eagle Eye does not like the badlands of 'Tup North', and Mr Eagle Eye does certainly not like blatant racists. Mr Eagle Eye likes foreigners, for they bring their skills, their culture, and their style to these shores, and make a far more positive contribution to this country than these tossers could ever do.

It is time for Mr Eagle Eye to make a decision!

..

..

..

Mr Eagle Eye now officially backs UKIP! So let's beat our wings, cast our votes, stuff that damn turkey and get the UK out of the inebriated carcass that is the European Union, which can be left to Libertas to cripple even further, whilst the UK is freed from Brussels' shackles and economically rebounds as a result!

Well, it's a dream, but not a far off one! Vote UKIP! Remember to vote UKIP!

(apologies for not posting for ages, Mr Eagle Eye has had Bird Flu (total crap, he has been studying for his MCSE exams, but Bird Flu has a better ring to it)).

Barclays Birdshites on Government Bailed Banks!

2009-05-07T21:54:00.006+01:00

As both a Barclays customer and a highly vocal supporter of free-market economics, Mr Eagle Eye is sqwuaking with delight at the latest figures released by the Blue Eagle Bank.

In spite of an enormous rise in impairment payments, up 79% to £2.3 billion, the Blue Eagle's profits spread their wings and soared to an impressive pre-tax £1.4 billion, an increase of 15% on the same quarter a year prior.

And a critical point that Mr Eagle Eye wants to flap his feathers at is that Barclays has shunned Government money! They have taken not a single penny from the taxpayer to fix their mistakes, unlike just about every other bank on the High Street, in particular, Lloyds, who I will shite on later in this post!

But Mr Eagle Eye is esctatic with glee that there is at least one major UK Bank that thinks that UK Bank Bailouts are a nestload of shite. Whilst Lloyds and RBS have become bloated overstuffed turkeys that can no longer fly due to government controls, Barclays soars high in the free and liberal skies of capitalist economics!

Let this be a lesson to ye all! Governement money comes with so many strings and so much red tape that it just is not worth it. Plus, you'll piss off the taxpayer, and more often than not, taxpayers are also potential customers for your business. So what will it be, asks the benevolent Mr Eagle Eye? Thou hast two options hitherto:

You can refuse the government money! Sure, you might have needed it short term, to plug your balance sheet or appease your stakeholders, but for goodness sake, this is business! Restructuring the organization, sacking the shite, and reviewing processes and workflows are but three things that can be acted on decisiveley to not only bring quick results, but streamline the company in the longer term. When the market starts to pick up again, not only will your authority not be undermined by state control, but you won't have repayments to hold back profits and investment! Also, you'll have a much more efficient workforce, that Mr Eagle Eye would applaud.
And the alternative is to take the government money! You can wave bye-bye to your authority over your own business because the State wants in, and they will undermine your authority at every possible opportunity. Complacent in the 'security' of having what seems to be free money, your business will get lazy, inefficient, reducing cost-effectiveness by the egg-load! And when the market picks up, your company will be too saddled and slow to react and take advantage. Plus, the tax-payers will be getting pissed because their little big investment is actually turning into an epic fail. State-owned businessess are arse-shite, enough to make Mr Eagle Eye choke with repulse!

And, Mr Eagle Eye is receiving a breaking report that ten United States banks have failed 'Stress Tests' and are apparently in need of further bail out money. Obama and Geithner haven't got a clue, not a f**king clue, what they are doing. Although it is still too early to bash Obama as he has barely been in office for a Quarter, Mr Eagle Eye does not predict great things from Obama, but that is a topic that requires a post all to itself.

However kids, if you have learnt one lesson from the magnificent wisdom and spectacular ego of Mr Eagle Eye, it is this!

Don't EVER take money from the Government!

Brown and Out!

2009-05-03T21:52:00.004+01:00

Oh how Mr Eagle Eye is quite positiveley salivating from his keen sharp beak at the thought of the 2010 UK General Election next year! As the Labour Party continues to kill itself, let's take a look at the last few days and see what the children have been up to! I, Mr Eagle Eye, shall provide a summary via my Peck Points!

Hazel Blears blasted her own party over a 'lamentable failure to communicate', in particular reference to Gordon Brown's first YouTube video, claiming it is no substitute for 'knocking on doors'. After talk of her ready to challenge the sinking ship's looney captain for the wheel as it sinks, she then saw sense and backed down from a leadership challenge.
Charles Clarke, former Home Secretary, has publically admitted that he is ashamed to be a Labour MP. As one of the handful of Labour MPs who did not jump on the Brown Bandwagon in 2007, Mr Clarke appears to have some sense. But he must prove it and didtch Labour altogether! Which brings Mr Eagle Eye to
Lord Ashdown has revealed that several Labour MPs, unhappy with the direction that the Labour Party is taking, are plotting to defect to the Liberal Democrats! This is on the basis if Labour lose the next general election, which almost certainly will be the case, and Mr Eagle Eye counts down the days!
David Milliband, at a time when MP's expenses is a hot topic indeed, has taken it upon himself to demand a private jet! At a time when the private sector scales back on travel expenses and conferences, in favour of phone conferences and internet collaboration, perhaps this festering lump of shit can take note! Oh, no, Mr Eagle Eye forgot, a Left Wing government likes to think it is above the Private Sector. David Milliband, you are a corpulent c**t, and Mr Eagle Eye looks forward to you flying out of Government come 2010!
Alistair Darling's budget and economic forecasts continue to be ripped to shreds by everybody who isn't a Labour Party insider, and also those who are colluding with him. Adding to knifewounds already inflicted by the IMF, European Commission and NIESR (National Institute of Economic and Social Research), the Treasury Committee is the latest group to cut these fantasy figures to bits.
John Prescott nails Gordon Brown's smile! In spite of the warning by Hazel Blears, Gordon went and filmed another YouTube video, where he trots about his back garden talking to himself about how great he is, and how his is like Barack Obama. If this is not proof that this man is falling further into madness, then what is? Mr Prescott delivered this awesome piece of photopolitical history today! Two-Jabs then went on to deliver this magnificent sucker-punch, "The man has got the ability and intellect to get on with the job". Magnificent!

And all this is coming from the ranks of government itself! Mr Eagle Eye, though not usually a fond follower of the Liberal Democrats, he has enjoyed watching Nick Clegg, with much passion and energy, destroy Gordon Brown at PMQs today.

And check this out, even the Speaker of the House is damn near pissing himself at laughing stock that is our Prime Minister. Mr Eagle Eye is flapping his wings cheering like a chick!

And just think, we have another year of this hilarity to go on! Mr Eagle Eye is breathless from cackling laughter at the state of the Labour Party and it's incredible ability to cause more self harm than a heartbroken teenager with a razorblade. And just think, we have a year more of this to go! Labour knows that, come election day, they will be annihilated both by the electorate, and by their own party members who will wholesale jump ship to other parties, tails between legs, or leave politics all together. Things can only get better and better! Let's break out the popcorn and watch Labour kill itself!

Kenyan Politics Enters Sex Ban!

2009-04-30T19:28:00.010+01:00

Now this story is just ludicrous and has me cackling like a cuckoo on crack. The Womens Development Organizaition coalition is encouraging women to deny their men sex for a week, in protest at the political clusterf**k the country is in between it's squabbling lead cocks, Prime Minister Cock and President Cock.

Given their aggressive lust for power, Mr Eagle Eye finds it hard to fathom why such men would even care about a week-long sex ban. Here are the reasons why this is all a load of arse!

A week without sex? What is a week? That's no time! Try banning sex for a month or two for starters. But Mr Eagle Eye is of the belief that women lust after it more than men, so the women would crack!
And even if they cannot manage, I'm sure they can just bend over one of their 'aides' and relieve themselves. It'd be like Clinton and Lewinski all over again, but not as funny. Because, come on, Clinton was just Clinton! No one could compare!
However, the opportunity for political scandal is ripe! Imagine if the Prime Minister had sex with the President's wife, and filmed it! Imagine if the President and the Prime Minister's wife were having a cross-party sex party! Imagine if that happened in this country! Unfortunatley, the chances of Gordon Brown pulling down his nappies to try to play sink the pole before the poll with Mrs Cameron are small.
Chances are the women could end up just getting sexually assaulted or raped, which is not nice at all.

Also of urgent need for Mr Eagle Eye to address is that these hens just are not that hot. Seriously, if one of these women were your lady (more fool you), would you care going a week without getting the hose wet?
The UK fares even worse for political totty! For a nation in which it's leading newspaper features a daily photo of a pretty nude lady, one would have thought that the UK would have prettier women on top! However, Mr Eagle Eye thinks this exhibit just about says it all!

However, if this were the government of Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Burlusconi, then the government would come to an instant and irrevocable halt until the needs of his Party of Freedom were met! Mr Eagle Eye has had his Eagle Eyes caught indeed with these images of Italy's proposed candidates for the upcoming European Elections:

And let's not forget Mr Sex Scandal himself, President Nicolas Sarkozy of the Fifth French Republic! If his piece of totty tricolour were to go on a one-week sex strike, Mr Eagle Eye would have to cover his ears and fly as far away from Paris as possible, lest he not be able to sleep due to the wails of a sleepless Nicolas.
And this has left Mr Eagle Eye with a statement, a testament of monolithic common sense.

Sex Strike will only work if the lady is hot!

Swine Flu makes me Sick!

2009-04-27T18:18:00.004+01:00

New Year, new fashionable pandemic! It has come to that time of year again, when a few people die from slight variant of an existing disease, and the whole world has flipped into a sensationalistic frenzy, yet again claiming that this year's disease is the one to cause much death. Mr Eagle Eye suspects that these nonsense-sprouting fools must have contracted somne kind of disease of the mind for them to be coughing up such garbage!

Before we pass judgement on this latest sputtering upstart, Mr Eagle Eye shall summarise the facts, via Peck Points of course:

In it's home country of Mexico, 149 people have died as of this peck point, with 2,000 people infected. Mathematically speaking, that is a death rate of just over 7.45%.
Swine Flu originiates from Pigs, and it is not possible to catch Swine Flu from contaiminated Pork. Great news for Mr Eagle Eye, who loves his meat!
The diesease is spread via coughing and sneezing.
The USA has 12 million doses of Tamiflu being readied from federal reserves, and the UK has confirmed that it has 33 million Tamiflu vaccines in stockpiles (f**k the credit crunch, that's where all the money went!!), which can administer over half of the UK population!
Swine Flu does not have the same ring to it as Bird Flu, therefore it is not as cool.

Therefore, it is pretty safe to assume that Swine Flu will choke up a small mess, and be cleaned up pretty damn quickly, as was the case of Bird Flu and SARS. Those who were predicting, or hoping for, a global pandemic will have to face the music!

Nothing to get your feathers in a flap about! If anybody in the UK dies of Swine Flu, Mr Eagle Eye will immediately point his feathers in the direction of the government! 33 million Tamiflu vaccines and you still managed to screw up?

What will it be next year? Cow Flu? Cat Flu? More people will die this year of binge drinking than Swine Flu, even if this over-rated cold starts to... catch on!

The Ten Commandments v2, as per Wired!

2009-04-26T10:29:00.006+01:00

Mr Eagle Eye is gob-open laughing akin to a juvenile chick in the nest! Wired have really let themselves go doing a report the 'American Stonehenge', and it's alledged instructions of how to build a better world in a post-apocalypse scenario, which they have taken the time to report on here.

Before I rip in to Wired, I, the omnipotently knowledgeable Mr Eagle Eye, shall summarise the upcoming scenario, as alledged by various doom prophets in my Peck Points:

The date of 21st December 2012 is apparently significant. On this day, the sun will appear to rise in the sky in line with the centre of the Milky Way Galaxy. That doesn't sound like a big deal to Mr Eagle Eye, but he'll have his camera ready, should be a pretty photo. Also on this day is the end of our current 'age' as according to the Mayan calendar and the transition into the new age. Nostradamus and the Freemasons Guild also give their own predictions of 'changes', which doom prophets like to milk the cow dry on.
As for 2012 itself in general, the sun is predicted to be higly active in terms of solar flares, which send lots of electromagnetic energy our way. However, this co-incides with the 'presence of an unusually large hole' in the Earth's geo-magnetic field. In summary, Mr Eagle Eye likens this to a G20 soap-dodgers protest when the riot police are down the beach in the sun! And if our electric grids get surged as predicted, Mr Eagle Eye will have trouble using the internet. Should that happen, there will be hell to pay, hell.. to.. pay.. Then you will have an apocalypse on your hands!
Now, as for these Georgie Guidestones, they are pretty much a bastardized mutation of the Ten Commandments, but with the familiar added spice of Americanism for shits and giggles! Mr Eagle Eye will now swoop in and analyze each Commandment in detail!

Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature. Mr Eagle Eye agrees that the human population on Earth is taking the piss now (it would require 6 Earth like planets to allow the current world population to live with the affluence of the average American). However, just as Mr Eagle Eye flew from his nest, it is humanity's duty to expand into space! Instead of killing off 9/10ths of the population, Mr Eagle Eye suggests terraforming the Moon and Mars and sending people there for starters.
8 Birdshites out of 10.
Guide reproduction wisely - improving fitness and diversity. What kind of advice is this? Is he telling us to breed humanity into a super race Hitler-style, or just that we should put the sock on in the sack? Or that we should all do our excercises, or that if there are lots of diverse groups, they won't have enough individual power to overthrow the power system this stone-brained nutcase was masturbating over.
10 Birdshites out of 10.
Unite humanity with a living new language. Yeah, tried that with Esperanto, and it was an epic fail. Why not unite humanity with an existing, widespread language that is already used in international transactions by politicians and business. English! Mr Eagle Eye suspects that with their new language imposed, the megalomaniac behind these overrated bits of rock can further confuse and control his populace
7 Birdshites out of 10.
Rule passion - faith - tradition - and all things with tempered reason. Passion doesn't follow the rules, because that is what passion is. This guy wants faith under control so no other religion challenges his status as a God, which sounds no different from any other religion that came before. Now then, 'controlling tradition' sounds most suspicious indeed to Mr Eagle Eye. Mr Eagle Eye does what he wants, when he wants, why he wants, and if some upstart God tells me what my 'traditions' are, I'll peck his eyes out and shit in the sockets!
9 Birdshites out of 10.
Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts. Maybe he was running out of ideas. Come on mate, if you have got the energy to erect big rocks ontop of a hill, inscribed with your arse-shite in ten different languages, at least think up something original.
6 Birdshites out of 10.
Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court. Didn't we try that with the Leage of Nations and then the United Nations? The UN is about as effective at resolving conflicts as alcohol is as making problems go away, and there is more meat to a vegetarian sausage than to the UN's will. Also, Mr Eagle Eye points out, in this idealistic yet tyrannically controlled world of yours, what makes you think there would be any disputes?
7 Birdshites out of 10.
Avoid petty laws and useless officials. Now then mister, when you are in power here, Mr Eagle Eye would like you to tell him, straight to his beak, what defines 'petty' and 'useless', as it seems you have given yourself rather a lot of room to maneuvre. In addition, when you refer to petty laws, did some of your own pop into mind? What a tosser.
8 Birdshites out of 10.
Balance personal rights with social duties. Sniff, sniff, I smell authoritarianism! Mr Eagle Eye states that people should have personal rights, and personal responsibilities to themselves, but not others unless there is money involved! Social duties implies that his guy must have been a tree-hugging hippy who thinks people will do everthing for free, a dictator in the making, or some wierd spawn when the two of them shared themselves.
9 Birdshites out of 10
Prize truth - beauty - love - seeking harmony with the infinite. Another ambigious message with about as much clarity as a window made out of toast. Let Mr Eagle Eye summarize and correct this shit-gobbler; Truth is prized, that is what the science is for, what the media is for, what social interaction is for, because people prizing truth isn't a new concept. Beauty is prized, especially by Mr Eagle Eye when he's taking a look at the ladies. Not just in a sexual thing, but beauty is evidently prized as proved by architecture, art and music. And Mr Eagle Eye does not need to explain that love is also prized. As for seeking harmony with the infinite, I would try and fathom what is exactly meant, but Mr Eagle Eye would likley just get his feathers in a flap and just say F**k it!
10 Birdshites out ot 10
Be not a cancer on the earth - Leave room for nature - Leave room for nature. That isn't a typo there kids, this idiot actually says it twice! Once was enough on your previous Commandments, so why repeat yourself here? Nature has quite enough room; as per AAAS, 50% of the human population occupies 10% of the Earth's land (that doesn't cover the oceans remember), and 75& population covers 20% of the Earth's land. And this is a population that is apparently 1000% larger than what it should be. This point is pretty redundant anyway, for if point 1 is excercised, there will be even more percentage of the Earth's land for nature to frolick in.
8 Birdshites out of 10

Wired, the fact that you have published two armageddon-related articles on the same day makes Mr Eagle Eye wonder what your agenda is. Granted, the solar flare article is scientifically based, but it does not need following up with a front page article on a bunch of rocks inscribed with B.S., that was erected over 20 years ago! Mr Eagle Eye casts a shifty eye your way, and expects better from you!

And Mr Eagle Eye leaves you with this!

The Video Game Industry needs to press Reset

2009-04-25T01:13:00.005+01:00

When Mr Eagle Eye was still a little shit living in the nest , he spent much time on on his various computer game machines! I fondly remember spending so many hours playing the likes of Gunstar Heroes, Shining Force II, Super Hero League of Hoboken from the mid-90s. Looking back, I remember playing video games was a source of imagination, creativity and fun, the chance to enter the warped realities of niche games!

In Super Hero League of Hoboken, one of my favourites of all time, you can kill your enemies by increasing their cholesterol level, and can have your entire party decimated when a 'Beaureau-Crat' opens it's draw to spill red tape! Come on, what kind of game these days dares to dance with something so on the edge? What game features a post-apocalyptic world where you are under attack by living tupperware, obsessive fitness robots and self-aware, snarling farm machinery? In what game nowadays do your superheroes have such superpowers as 'Eat Spicy Food Without Distress' and 'Look inside a Pizza Box without Opening It'? Answer me! Answer me, modern gaming industry!

Super Hero League of Hoboken was created before the video-game market took off big-time in the mid-late 90's, when the Playstation built on ground gained by earlier successful Nintento and Sega consoles. However, the market going mainstream was the death-knell for fringe games like the aforementioned classic. The big-time money lay not for parody-RPGs of a warped nature.

Taking my Eagle's Eye View, the following peck-points I shall make with my angered beak!

Much of the mainstream market is not interested in fringe titles. Therefore, sport, driving, beat-em-ups, and shooting titles have come to dominate the shelves. Reason is simple from a business point of view; more people will buy them. However, by taking such safe bets on real life simulator games, new content and imagination has been all but lost completley! A travesty, and it makes Mr Eagle Eye go cross-eyed with rage! Remember when Worms was released? It was super cool, because it was so original, so different, and was a huge success. However, if Worms was put forward as a games idea nowadays, it would be laughed out the boardroom. Mr Eagle Eye ponders how many other such proposals that could have been big-money hits were ripped up in the offices of the games companies. Risk-taking has nosedived faster than Mr Eagle Eye when he needs to take a crap.
With the gaming industry so mainstream these days, there are far too many third parties involved, akin to a barrage of cocks trying to get themselves into the hen. Sponsors are plastered on seemingly every polygon on the screen, music from recognized artists while you play. While a smattering could be ok for select titles, it all detracts from what in Mr Eagle Eye's opinion, a video-game should be about; entering an alternate reality to flex the wings of your imagination. If I like Nike (which I don't because their logo looks like a birdshite carried in the wind), I'd go buy a pair of their trainers. If I like Coca Cola, I'd drink it. If I like a band, I'll go listen to their stuff. Add to that the increasing level of interference from parent's groups, politicians, and there have been way too many cockerals ramming that poor hen up the arse she is damaged for good, with no chance of laying the good eggs all the cocks wanted. Mr Eagle Eye is highly displeased, for good eggs are a great source of protein. Instead, we're getting rotten eggs!
Sequelitis has grown from an affliction affecting a handful of games into an epidemic that is swallowing the game industry. Mr Eagle Eye cannot so much as spread his wings in a video store without his feathers being tarnished by suffixes! As I was sqwaking in my previous peck-points, this is because games chiefs are scared shitless of not only losing money, but risking publicity. Why risk money and ridicule when you can release what you did last year and charge full price? The only good thing to come out of this is that, even if Number 10's education system renders the youth so illiterate that they cannot count to 10 and beyond (some series are taking the piss these days), the video game industry is helping out with basic math!
Following on from this, I'm going to take a massive shite on this peck-point, that may cause more division of opinion so large that it may even dwarf the size of my birdshite, or even my ego! Game Engines! These, in the opinion of Mr Eagle Eye, have been one of the biggest bullets to be put in the head of originality in computer gaming. The principle, to create a game template and copy it from title to title with a bit of tweaking is easy to fathom from a business sense, and is likely a massive load off the programmers mind once they get an effective one. But, it has allowed developers to get lazy, and led to a more clones than a sex party at the abode of Dolly the Sheep.
The consoles and various video-game machinery of today have such dynamic hardware that they are capable of much more in terms of graphical representation, in-game physics, sound and so on. However, this has meant that the cost of video game development has ballooned, and that games now spend years in development, not just months, even if you have a game engine to help. Imagine spending a year twiddling the code for a sports game, in comparison to developing something crazy and warped in a matter of months. Which is more motivating to thee?

That's enough peck points to blunt my beak, but I after I have depressed you, it is my job as an overly dramatic storyteller to bring your depleted spirit back from the abyss! There is hope for video-games! It lays in taking gaming back to it's roots before the days of photo-realistic graphics. Whilst traditional consoles continue to go down the 'real' route, other independent developers are plugging the gap. On modern platforms and interfaces such as the iPhone, yet with good old originality, they are the breath of fresh air to relieve the atmosphere after a decade of vomiting over a games industry that made Mr Eagle Eye sick!

Got the Bottle? Let's talk Alcohol!

2009-04-23T21:16:00.009+01:00

To get me in the mood to talk drink, I have opened up my bottle of Old Luxters that has sat on my desk since September. Feel privileged, I say! Now then, let me tell you that alcohol misuse is a huge issue, with 2008 figures putting alcohol misuse's cost to society at £25.1 billion as of 2008. As I flapped my feathers at yesterday, a nation that is already hammered financially cannot afford to ship sums of cash like this to deal with people who choose to act like morons.

I would like to draw your eyes to two very crucial statements here, in the opinion of the Eagle Eye himself! Firstly this: it is not alcohol that goes over the line, it is people. And secondly, as alcohol consumption is historically entrenched in culture worldwide, and especially it seems in Britain, trying to get people to stop drinking is unfeasable. As Straight-Edge as Mr Eagle Eye likes to think he is, he still likes to sip the liquor from time to time. My Old Luxters says howdie!

Ok, enough waffle, and onto the observations and suggestions of I, the Eagle Eye! The youth of today is obsessed with binge drinking. All they seemingly want to do have a 'great night' is get incredibly pissed. In the opinion of the Eagle Eye, this is the result of an increasingly undisciplined society, whereby these mongrels have no conception of self-respect, self-control or self-responsibility. Much of this blame can be laid at the feet of the Labour Government and their ruinous education system, but Mr Eagle Eye also casts heavy criticism on the delusional 'hyper-liberals' as I call them, who have plagued the UK since the 60's. Mr Eagle Eye agrees with liberalism in principle, but principle and reality do not always share common ground, and the reality is, school children who are not controlled will go out of control.

So, Mr Eagle Eye states that restoring discipline in the classroom, and in family life, will help tremendously to helping children becoming sensible, balanced adults, who have more respect for themselves than to wreak damage on their bodies and finances with senseless inebriated gratification.

Ok, that solution would take years, possibly generations to fulfill. With his ear to the wind, Mr Eagle Eye can hear thee shout, what of the short term solutions?! Take it easy there, and don't spill your drink, because Mr Eagle Eye has the answer, and it's common sense!

Make drunkeness in public be the subject of ridicule, embarrasment and humiliation! Anybody deemed drunk should be barred from entering venues such as cinemas, shopping centres or other public establishments, including pubs. Let them get pissed up in there if they wish, but when they've had enough and are chucked out, they won't have a chance of getting back in there. If people want to get hammered, let them do it at home, where they are not being a nuisance.

Put it this way, imagine you are going out with some friends to go, say, bowling. and then on to the pub afterwards. All is going well, until your mate gets pissed at the bowling alley. He is chucked out, and he won't be getting into the pub later either. That's your group night out ruined because he couldn't control his drink. Your first thought '...you twat, this night is fucked now!'. And there you have it! Socially unacceptable drunkeness in public!

And people will remember something they forgot from long ago, perhaps from the days they were children. A social event does not need to involve getting pissed to be a 'great night'. F**king mint!

The Budget 2009; the Eagle Eye Analysis!

2009-04-22T20:52:00.006+01:00

Alistair Darling today unveiled the budget for 2009. Below, I, Mr Eagle Eye, shall disect each segment with snappy anger, for I am in a particularly aggressive mood this evening Victoria Line on strike and signal failures suspending the Overground are the napalm to start tonights forest fire on UK finance!

At a Glance as per BBC
Eagle Eye Reaction

Cigarettes, Alcohol and Fuel

• Alcohol taxes to go up 2% from midnight - putting the price of the average pint up 1p

As someone who consumes little alcohol, doesn't smoke, and takes the train, my wallet couldn't give a toss about tax increases on these. However, Eagle Eye says this:

Taxing alcohol will not solve alcohol misuse problems to the degree many people suggest. Much of the drunken youth these days choose super-market assisted 'pre-drinking' before hitting the town and acting like knuckle-dragging neanderthals. Instead of taxing specifically on alcohol, Eagle Eye suggests illegalising ludicrously cheap alcohol promotions. That way they will go drink in the pub instead (and 'Save the British Pub' which they pretend to be so passionate about), and not drink as heavilly because they can't buy as much booze for their money. More forceful policing would also help. Ok, I'm going off on a tangent here and I can go on about this subject for ages, so I'll make it the subject of my next post.

• Tax on tobacco to go up by 2% from 6pm - equivalent to an extra 7p on a pack of 20 cigarettes

Tobacco, tobacco, tobacco... Tax it to oblivion! 7p tax for a pack of 20? Eagle Eye suggests £7 if not more! Smoking is a fucking bane for the Health Service, costing £billions yearly. Perhaps if these weak-minded nicotine guzzlers coughed up more cash for their fags, they would help pay the NHS bills for their ill-deserved treatment. Or better yet, they can quit, and spare themselves and their families from the haze.

• Fuel duty to rise by 2p per litre from September, then by 1p a litre above inflation each April for the next four years

Not a driver, my wallet has dodged this bad boy. Moving onwards!

Car Scrappage Scheme

• From next month until March 2010 motorists to get £2,000 discount on new cars if they trade in cars older than 10 years

What in the name of?! The plan here is to get us to buy more cars. Isn't the government wanting us to not use cars? What about the increase in fuel duty? All this is doing is to try and help the car industry. Hypocrisy! Hypocrisy I cry with a wide Eagle Eye!

Failed industries fail on merit and do not deserve bail-outs in any shape or form!

One thing positive about this is that it will get older, dirtier cars off the roads? That is debatable. But Eagle Eye suggests this; if this is to be implemented, only allow the £2,000 discount for cars that are at the green end of the spectrum of miles to gallon, emissions etc.

• They will have to show they been the registered keeper of the vehicle for the previous 12 months before ordering the new car

Big whup, common sense. Moving swiftly on

• The government will provide £1,000 with the industry expected to provide the other half

So I am expected to pay up for someone else to trade in their care for a nice new flashy one, and support a doomed industry in the process? Because let's face it, we'll be paying the industry half with bail-outs. Eagle Eye says this; F*** OFF!!

Tax

• Income tax for those earning more than £150,000 to rise to 50% from April 2010

Sniff, sniff, I smell a Taxodus! Punishing the rich and successful is a stupid, stupid move, all in the name of typical Left-Wing, socialist-bleeding-heart commie populist propaganda. Unlike the poor, the rich have a greater choice of options due to, well, being rich obviously. Would you rather stay in the UK and see your deserved money get taxed off you in the name of dole-scroungers and the 'disadvantaged', or get the hell out. People who are rich are generally smart, so the latter is a no-brainer.

The rich might be unpopular or unfair in the eyes of the masses, but it is better to tax them a little and have them stay and spend their wealth in our economy, than have them sod off and spend their coffers in someone elses economy.

• Tax relief on pensions to be reduced for people on more than £150,000 a year from April 2011

As above. Shaft the successful, and they will shaft you by leaving the country, leaving an empty hole where their money used to be!

UK Economy

• Economy forecast to shrink 3.5% in 2009

IMF says 4.1%. Darling is a twat.

• Growth expected to pick up in 2010, expanding by 1.25%.

IMF says economy to shrink again by 0.4%. Darling is still a twat.

• Economy to grow by 3.5% annually from 2011

No IMF projection yet, but it is highly likley that Darling is still a twat, but even more likley he will not be chancellor.

• Public borrowing to increase to £175bn this year

Disastrous. Uttherly disastrous. An enlarged public sector makes as much sense as a four-sided triangle. All borrowing has to be paid back at some point, and being saddled with burrowing, plus intrest, we'll be tied down with financial rope whilst other economies are recovering and going 'Is that Britain? Ha! F**k You!'

• Borrowing levels to be £173bn, £140bn, £118bn and £97bn in years after

This could all have been avoided by allowing failed businesses to fail and let the private sector sort itself out. Keynesianism has NEVER worked and it NEVER will. Keynesian stimulus is not very stimulating at all to Mr Eagle Eye.

• Consumer price inflation to fall to 1% by end of year. Retail Price Index to go to -3% by September.

UK prices dropping for the first time in 50 years. This is a disaster. Before you celebrate that prices are going down, remember that wages will fall too as companies will look to recover that lost revenue. Labour must never be allowed to take power again.

• Capital investment to continue at historically high levels until 2012

Labour must never, ever be allowed to take any kind of power anywhere ever, ever again, ever.

Jobs and Training

• Government support for economy to protect 500,000 jobs

What kind of jobs will these be? Will they be private-sector positions in an economy where competition is encouraged and not distorted by bail-outs, and not off the back of the tax-payer, in British Economy that welcomes foreign companies instead of barking protectionism back at them? Fat chance. These 'protected' jobs will be for the rafts of people working in bloated public services departments, on the back of the tax payer.

• Statutory redundancy pay up from £350 to £380 a week

Another £30 a week in a deflating economy?

• Extra support for people who have been out of work for 12 months through the flexible new deal

'Hello, my name is the British Government! Have you been out of work for 12 months claiming dole? Excellent! You are just the person we are looking for, and have a great new deal for you!'

Punish the successful to feed the 'needs' of the underclass. Socialists, Labour, New Labour, whatever the fuck you want to call yourselves, I cannot wait to see you annihilated at the next general election. Sureley have a successful economy is to encourage people to be successful. Seems like common sense to Mr Eagle Eye.

However, socialists react to common sense in the same way a vampire reacts to sunlight.

• From January all under-25s out of work for a year to be offered a job or training place with extra money on top of benefits for those in training

If the aim is to get people back into work and train them, why wait for them to be on the dole for a year? Instead of allowing them to dole-scrounge, why not just shove them into training placements or jobs immediately if it was going to be done anyway?

• £1.7bn extra funding for Job Centre network

Or, we could try something really quite radical and dramatically cut benefits! Once these work-dodgers realise they will be no longer be paid to sit at home smoking fags and getting pregnant with their latest offspring, perhaps then they'll realise they'd better start pulling their own weight, or get screwed!

• £250m funding to help people get work experience in growth industries

And what does Labour denote as a 'Growth Industry?'. The only thing socialism can look at as the future; the Public Sector...

• Funding to create 54,000 new places in sixth form education

Well, let's see about this one. But if the juvenile in question is already an illiterate chav by the time they are done with the primary and secondary education system under Labour, sixth form will not save them.

Get the Primary and Secondary education system fixed first before putting the youngsters through another load of Labourcation.

Housing

• Scheme to guarantee mortgage-backed securities to boost lending

'Yes, let's lend money stupidly to people who cannot pay it back. It's just like the boom years, but even better, because we know the UK government will pay us if they go tits up!' The stupidity of Labour is just absoultley incredulous.

• Stamp duty holiday for homes up to £175,000 to be extended to end of year

Not too familiar with what Stamp Duty is, so I cannot pass fair judgement on this one. Mr Eagle Eye is temporarily blind! Moving swiftly on!

• Extra £80m for shared equity mortgage scheme

Again, not something I am too knowledgeable about. Moving even more swiftly onwards!

• £500m to kick-start stalled housing projects - including £100m for local authorities to build energy efficient homes

One of the more positive things in the budget, but still, Eagle Eye is not blinded to the flaws! Housing is lacking in quantity in the UK, so having more available for use would be a huge bonus for the economy. However, either due to over-regulation or other reasons, many new 'affordable' homes are just simply too expensive. The UK has seen a boom in premium-level housing and penthouses, but these are not the solution to overcrowding.

• £50m to upgrade housing for the armed forces

Whilst the government is utterly shameful for bandwagoning on the 'our boys' mentality in order to get a cheap rise from voters, I do agree that the armed forces to deserve better. Mr Eagle Eye approves.

Government Savings

Mr Eagle Eye is laughing so hard his feathers are nearly falling out. Savings? Joke of the Year, that is!

• Tax loopholes and schemes identified which could provide £1bn of extra revenue over the next three years if closed

So Labour have been in power for 12 years and have only just discovered these loopholes? Perhaps it covers parliamentary expenses? It would certainly help getting the likes of Jacqui Smith weaned off the teat

• An extra £9bn in efficiency savings is planned

Public Sector expansion does not go in-hand with efficiency. Total crap. Eagle Eye needs to clench his beak for the smell of crap is getting too intense!

• Public spending growth to be cut from 1.1% next year to 0.7% from 2011-2012

You won't be in charge 2011-2012 you delusional child. Mr Eagle Eye suggests you busy yourself with alternative things to do in 2011-2012, like writing your highly anticipated biography 'New Labour, same old Failure'

Benefits

• Child tax credit to rise by £20 by 2010

I am not personally in favour of encouraging people to breed when they cannot financially afford to raise their children. To have children is a responsibility, not just a right.

• Child trust funds for disabled children to rise by £100 a year, £200 a year for severely disabled children

Child trust funds should be equal for all children. I'm not picking on the severly disabled here, but I believe that all children should be treated equally. Plus, there will be so many dole-scroungers trying to make out that thier children are severley disabled, totally screwing up their educational years as a result.

Savings

• Annual limit for tax-free ISAs to rise to more than £10,200 for over-50s this year and for everyone else next year. Of that amount £5,100 can be saved in cash

Mr Eagle Eye nods his head here, but why must everyone else wait until next year? However, it is doubtful many people will actually benefit from this.

Environment

• Britain commits to cut carbon emissions by 34% by 2020

How, when we are bailing out a failed car industry by buying new cars? As unrealistic as Mr Eagle Eye learning to fly!

• An extra £1bn to help combat climate change by supporting low-carbon industries

What kind of low-carbon industries? Elaborate, my Darling!

• £525m for offshore wind projects over the next two years

Wind Power = Fail. It produces sod all electricity in comparison to the energy and cost involved in construction and green-lighting as far as setting them up is concerned. Nuclear is the best energy option at present, but there are alternatives to building those monstrous three-armed clusterfucks off our coastlines.

• £435m support for energy efficiency schemes for homes, firms and public buildings

Given that we are burrowing hundreds of £billions each year, hundreds £millions a year on this hippie-crap? Drop in the ocean! Go ahead.

• £405m to encourage low-carbon energy and advanced green manufacturing

As above

Help for Business

• Help for loss-making companies extended - they will be able to reclaim more taxes paid in the last three years until November 2010

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Mr Eagle Eye is most displeased! As I have squawked previously, failing companies deserve to fail! Successful companies should be going all kickass and predatorially competitive on that market share up for grabs, not financing the inefficiency of their competitors!

• Businesses' main capital allowance rate doubled to 40% to encourage firms to bring forward investment

One of the more positive ideas put forward today, but so long as it's money thrown at companies that are not loss-making and pissing up.

• New £750m strategic investment fund to help emerging technologies and regionally important sectors

New technologies are critical to economic recoveries as they drive innovation. However, Mr Eagle Eye will keep a close watch on this. What the government determines as an 'emerging technology' may not be what is actually most efficient and practical as a new approach in the real world of work. This will be critical.

Pensioners

• Grandparents of working age who care for their grandchildren will see that work count towards their entitlement for the basic state pension

Mr Eagle Eye has got his wings all flapped up in confusion here. Pay the grandparents to look after their grandchildren and it helps have childcare kept within the family, and would be better for the children than having them attending nursery perhaps. On the other hand, lots of nurseries will see a dip in business with subsequent job-lossess, and, of course, we'll be paying for the child-care, and the new child-carers on the dole off the tax payers back!

Ok, I have decided. Bad idea!

• Winter fuel allowance to be maintained at higher level - £250 for over 60s and £400 for over-80s - for another year

Fair play.

• The basic state pension will be increased by at least 2.5%, regardless of inflation

Nods to that

• From November the limit on savings pensioners can have before their Pension Credits are reduced is to be raised from £6,000 to £10,000 to help those hit by low interest rates. It will mean an average of £4 extra a week, says the chancellor

Not likley to have much of an effect really.

Ok, Mr Eagle Eye is quite puffed out from that rather long and insidous rant at the budget, but hopes you enjoy! Remember, Mr Eagle Eye is watching, laughing and who knows what else! Haha!

The Hilarious Self-Destruction of the Labour Party!

2009-04-19T00:21:00.002+01:00

As the UK Labour Party enters another major smearstorm, I find it quite hilarious that Labour is seemingly doing more to lose the UK election than the Conservatives are to doing to win it. Ray Collins, General Secretary of the Labour Party and Charlie Whelan of the Unite Union have been exposed as being in a secret (not any more!) meeting to discuss online digital campaigning, the Red Rag site to be precise. This meeting also consisted of Damian McBride and Derek Draper, who have been at the heart of the 'Smeargate' Scandal.

For one who loves the taste of Labour scandals, this latest delicacy is particularly delicious. This meeting occurred very likley to the knowledge of Gordon Brown, given as the Party Secretary and his 'Mr Fix It' Whelan were in attendance. This without doubt shows Gordon Brown not only did nothing to stop attempts to baselessly spread rumours about opposition politicians, but that he also gave it the green light.

This latest clownery is not just the shit hitting the fan; it's the latest in a long line of turds to be thrown at this smiling fan. The Expenses Fiasco (let's not forget Jacqui Smith's husband enjoying his publically subsidized wanking), tampering with ballot boxes, long-time Labour MPs resigning in disgust at what their party has become, Cash for Honours (or thanks to Labour's education leading to a generation of illiterate chavs, maybe that should be 'Ca$h 4 Honrs, m8'). The Conservatives have been a 'Do Nothing' party, but it is better to do no harm than fuck up. As long as the Conservatives sit by smiling sheepishly whilst Labour kills itself in a quite frankly hysterical manner, the election is theirs to win.

And I do hope the Conservatives win. Not that I am particularly fond of the Conservatives, but that I have an immense dislike of Labour. Integrity has been missing in politics for a long time. However, there is a difference between a lack of integrity, and taking the piss, taking the piss on such a scale that it transcends being bad into so bad that it is funny.

Labour know they will lose the election, and that, just like times prior, their disastrous fuckery is going to be cleaned up by an incoming Conservative government. Like a madman on a death sentance, Labour and Brown are becoming increasingly potty.

But after the shit you have put this country through, thank you Labour Party for amusing and entertaining us on your way to the guillotine!