Mr Eagle Eye shall henceforth tear it to shreds and litter it with his bird-shite. It is a long and dour piece of propaganda, but worry not, for I, Mr Eagle Eye, shall provide my analysis to help give thou a smoother and more entertaining tide.
So, let us begin! Here is the article in full:
ELECTION BRIEFING: FRIDAY MORNING Tough times for Labour – but not the breakthrough the Tories wanted either.
Granted, the majority of these elections were not in the traditional urban Labour strongholds, but take a look at the map to your right. The only red I see on there is on the legend.
With all results now declared, Labour have lost control of all the councils that were up for grabs in this election, losing three of those to the Tories.
One line in, and it's already been reduced to a denial of reality. Mr Eagle Eye can tell he is reading something written by Labour.
We need to work hard together to come through this recession, listen to the voters, and earn back people’s trust after the expenses scandal. But if we do that then we can be confident that in a head-to-head with the Tories - where the choice is between a Labour party led by Gordon Brown and determined to stand by people, or a Tory party led by David Cameron that would walk on by when people need help most - then we can go forward from today and win.
- It's not like it could get much worse for them, but their emphasis that Gordon Brown will be leader would be enough to make Mr Eagle Eye lose his lunch, if he had eathen it yet.
- It was the first thing Mr Eagle Eye wanted to see! And it kept me awake the rest of the night!
- After Brown's departure, of course!
- And what of expenses claimed by MPs in your own party? The Tories' turds do stink, but that does not mean your shite doesn't smell any better.
- Like the one that has just deserted him? These new ministers were chosen on their ability to crawl up arse, not on ability to perform.
- By calling an election?
- Oh, Mr Eagle Eye's heart bleeds! You poisonous dowagers still have the self-righteousness to plead for sympathy, and it makes you all the more contemptable. After twelve years in power, Labour has created all of it's own problems. After a bumbling toddler has just knocked glass on the floor, do you trust them to pick up the shards?
- How selective. You are talking about individual seats. The Tories have murdered you overall. Your hand-picked facts are the exception, not the norm!
- The Tories may not have advanced much, but you have been annihilated. So, the net result is that the Tories are still kicking your ass.
- Not just scraping the barrell, but getting inside and licking the splinters. Seeing the desperation in socialists is such magnificent entertainment. Hopefully, with them inside the barrell, we can set it on fire and set it rolling down the hill!
- Clean up politics - Call an election
Accelerate our recovery - Call an election
Reform public services - Call an election
James Purnell’s Resignation?
I am obviously disappointed about James’s resignation. The Prime Minister and the rest of the Cabinet are absolutely focussed on the big challenges of cleaning up our politics and getting Britain back to work quicker:
how we guide the economy through the downturn and strengthen it for the future
how we push ahead with reform of and investment in our public services
how we renew trust in our democracy and Parliament.
It is sad that James has gone but we get on with the job of helping people through this downturn fairly. The PM will continue to give his undivided attention to addressing these great challenges facing our country and putting the interests of the British people first and foremost.
- The only thing they will be disappointed about is that they didn't have the spine to make the move. Purnell and Flint have been the only ministers with the balls to stand up to Brown, and his increasing level of psychopathy. Flint's tirade yesterday was particularly castrating!
John is going to step down as an MP at the next election for personal reasons. Really sad to see him go – he’s done a fantastic job. Whole party will thank him for his contribution over the years at Dept for Health and at BERR, and particularly for his recent leadership at the Ministry of Defence, where, in the most challenging times, he has overseen the end of combat operations in Iraq and supported our troops in bringing security and stability to Afghanistan.
- A massive dodge of the main issue. Why would Hutton, if this effective, not be on the same side as Brown? Labour showing once again that they only can deal with the issues they want to see, like a child covering their eyes and pretending they are not there.
Right now we face the two great challenges of this era - an economic crisis that has engulfed the world and caused global recession; and a political crisis that has engulfed Westminster. In Gordon Brown we have someone not only with the economic leadership and experience to tackle the global recession and to steer us through the downturn but with the integrity and determination to sort out the challenge of MPs’ expenses.
- "There comes a point when stubborness isn't leadership, it's stupidity." - Nick Clegg.
Oh, Gordon Brown does have economic leadership and experience all right! He was the one who engineered our economic catastrophe. Inheriting a healthy surplus from Major's Tories in 1997, Brown's decadent policies have turned the UK into one of the most debt-laden nations on Earth.
As a tyrant does more to maintain a stranglehold on power, history time and again has shown it to have the opposite effect, with ever more insurgent rebellion from inside, and action from outside.
The vast majority of MPs work terrifically hard for their constituents and have been appalled by some of the wilder stories about moats or swimming pools. All agree that we need to take action now to restore faith in Parliament. It’s important to remember that the expenses crisis is not just confined to government but to all parties - and even David Cameron has had to answer questions about his two mortgages.
- And even Gordon Brown today has to answer questions about his own two second homes! Few things are more satisfying to Mr Eagle Eye than seeing left-wing wobble-gobs having their own diatride used against them.
Sad to see them leave - both have an excellent record. As Home Secretary, Jacqui has cut crime; introduced the tough Australian points based immigration system; and rolled out neighbourhood policing across the country. And as Communities Secretary, Hazel has led reforms in local government and ensured that we’ve had better local services as well as the lowest average council tax increase in 15 years.
- They have even said it themselves, Jacqui copied someone else's idea. Anybody could do that. Crime has not been 'cut', a great choice of word there with Jacqui Smith's record on knife crime figures not one to be proud of.
The vast majority of our MPs have worked terrifically hard and are doing an excellent job. They didn’t come into politics to get rich but to help people and all of them are determined to restore faith in Parliament. The old system is dead. An independent-led body will now check the claims of every MP over the past 4 years. We have agreed that in future MPs should no longer set their own pay, allowances or standards of conduct and that these should be handed over to independent regulation. MPs’ allowances are being stripped right back: - no more claims on moats or swimming pools; - no claims on furniture, household goods, gardening, cleaning, or stamp duty; - no more ‘flipping’ or avoiding Capital Gains Tax; - mortgage claims only on interest and capped at a maximum of £1,250 a month; - no more London MPs claiming second homes; - no more second home allowances for those in grace-and-favour homes; - and no more secret second jobs.
- If it were not for the leaks to the Telegraph, Mr Eagle Eye has extreme doubts as to whether you would even have cared. All it took was a media maelstrom, and you've all sh*t yourselves. No matter how much you try to spin that the Tories have been damaged by this, you cannot escape the fact that this has hurt you more as the governing party, and they will destroy you in a General Election.
Neither of the two great challenges we face - the economic challenge and the political challenge - would be solved by an election. And the last thing the country needs is for Labour to be talking to itself. That is why the Prime Minister and the Cabinet are focussed on the big challenges that matter to the British people: cleaning up our politics and getting Britain back to work quicker.
- The last thing we need is a Labour government! History shows us that the economy performs better under a Conservative government than under a Labour one. Therefore, the economic challenge would be solved by an election.
The political challenge is that we face a Prime Minister that might be blind in one eye, but the real danger is that he is showing us that he is deaf, ignoring increasingly louder and angrier calls for a General Election.
BNP success down to three things: first, gut reaction of voters wanting to punish main parties; second, very low turnout; and third, their deliberate strategy of attempting to gloss over their racist nature. That means all main parties, not just Labour, need to listen and respond to voters’ anger over expenses; encourage people to get out and vote - which they will do in greater numbers at an election; and all of us need to uncover the true face of the BNP who are led by a man with convictions for inciting racial hatred. Many of the people who’ve voted for BNP are not racist and I think many of them would be appalled by the nature of that organisation as it begins to show its true face.
- The other major parties have been taking action on their MPs. It is Labour who have been ignoring their own demonstrations of blatant troughery. Both Labour and the BNP appeal to the same group, the aimless, bitter, benefit-receiveing underclass. The only difference is that the BNP only appeals to the section of the underclass which is British White.
The BNP are a fascist Party - our parents and grandparents fought a World War to defeat what the BNP stands for. There is a duty on all parties to fight the values of the BNP. We’ve campaigned hard and the PM was out on Monday directly addressing the threat of the BNP - quite unusually for a sitting PM.
- Classic question-dodging here. They have not denied their blatant responsibility for losing their underclass vote to the BNP. Instead, another miserable attempt at grovelling for sympathy. Pathetic.
No. We would much rather be fighting the Tories in white working class areas but in many of the places targeted by the BNP there has been no sign of the Tories since Margaret Thatcher in the mid-80s. We know that it tends to be unemployed men who are most likely to vote for the BNP - that’s why it is so important that we reach out to that group - for example, we are giving a guarantee of a job or training place to every young person out of work for more than a year. Instead of trying to get some kind of party political advantage out of this, the Tories should be setting out what they would do to help the unemployed in white working class areas, instead of ignoring them.
- Unlike Brown and his Labour cabal, Cameron has the sense to understand that there is no point putting a Tory up for election in a ward where the vast majority of the electorate are unemployed doll-scroungers. And Mr Eagle Eye says this! These people are not working class. Working class people actually work, the unemployed are the Underclass! Might not sound pretty or PC, but it's true, so stop being pussies over it. Maybe labelling them as such would instill enough anger in them to actually do something with their lives rather than live off the state and watch Jeremy Kyle.
Most of the seats are in county council Tory heartlands - and the last time we fought them was on General Election days when turnout was much higher - so our expectation is low.
The councils up for election are predominantly County Councils in two tier areas (27). The three Labour-controlled councils majority (Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Staffordshire) are all vulnerable.
There are also Mayorals - although we only hold one out of the four up for election and that in an area the Tories have traditionally held.
- Derbyshire, which Labour has run for 28 years, was convincingly won by the Tories.
Nottinghamshire, another Conservative tide of Blue, with 22 Labour councillors losing their seats.
Staffordshire, was total murder for Labour, losing 29 councillors, and finishing in 4th place.
Anne McTaggart wins 2689 - 1698 on second stage of transfers Labour gain from SNP in North Lanarkshire (Coatbridge North and Drumboig Ward).
Peter Sullivan wins on several stages of transfers after leading SNP by 37% - 30% of first prefs Hartlepool mayoral results: first preferences only.
Tories beaten into 7th place behind UKIP and the BNP.
Lib Dems losing deposit. Results for Hastings: Braybrooke and Castle - Labour hold with 47% of the vote
Central St Leonards and Gensing - Labour hold with 40% of the vote Hollington and Wishing Tree - labour hold with 43% of the vote
- Handpicking single seats, whilst the Conservatives destroy you in councils up and down the country. Highlights? More like a few stuttering lightbulbs! Poor!
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