Sunday, 17 May 2009

Mr Eagle Eye chooses 'Other'!!

Mr Eagle Eye will be the first to not only admit, but be proud of the fact, that he is a greedy and decadent capitalist. Whilst much of the country is shocked at the MPs expenses fiasco, it comes as perfect common sense to Mr Eagle Eye, who hasn't even risen one feathered eyebrow in surprise. Any person who wants the best for themself and their family will take advantage of any opportunity to maximun effect. Particularly when it's 'within the rules'. Figure this; you can get easy money without breaking the law. What would you do?

It is quite possible that if Mr Eagle Eye were an MP, that he would have been pecking away at the public purse too, and enjoying the party while it lasts!

Now onto our next pecking issue, the three main political parties have had their support plucked wholesale, akin to naughty turkies that have been caught. After the plucking, these naughty turkies will soon become a roast turkey triple delight ready for feasting on by the broader political spectrum. Let's meet those at the dining table who are tucking into the roast!

The UK Independence Party (UKIP)

Simply put, these guys want the UK out of the EU altogether. Seeing as the EU costs the UK taxpayer £40 million per day (that's £14,600,000,000 per year!) and that it does nothing useful except undermine national autonomy in the nations it imposes itself on, that's a good place to start.

In addition, one of their MP's has been exposed as an expense-fiddler! This means that the party actually consists of someone with intelligence and ambition, so Mr Eagle Eye likes them already.

Despite this, the UKIP has been a major beneficiary of the expenses scandal, surging seven points in a week, drawing them level with Labour. Seeing Labour destroyed in such a way that sees them collapse to outside of the top-two, or even top-three, makes the turkey taste even sweeter. But before we get stuffing, let's take a peck at the others!

The Green Party


Now Mr Eagle Eye does not need to tell you the deal here, the environment is their big issue. Already feeling slightly nauseous about looking at their website, Mr Eagle Eye was nearly reduced into a spate of vomiting once he started reading their policies, including their horrific socialistic idealism they attempt to pass off as workable policies. Take a look at some of this drivel:

"Introduce green workforce training"
What's that then? Employing people to use a bucket and spade to clean crap off the beach to throw into one of your wierd composters that will cost more money than Crossrail? Give the workforce training that actually makes them skilled, ambitious and competitive personnell...

"Reduce poverty massively by introducing a Citizen's income"
This is ludicrous, utter insanity. How about not taxing people in the first place? Oh, Mr Eagle Eye is almost overwhelmed by the smell of turdshite that his beak shudders and his eyes cross! Look through the nice 'Citizen' word polish and all this is, is benefits under a different name. Sorry Greens, you can't polish a turd.

Libertas
These Europe-wide fellows are a most interesting brigade; their are dissatisfied with the current shape of the European Union, but they think that the EU has the potential to be awesome, once it's been subject to an immense level of reform. Their call is for total transparency and accountability in Europe, with only elected officals in charge of policy making.

Noble goals yes, but the EU is already a slouchy bloated walrus that takes an eternity to make decisions, even when it is pretty much unaccountable and a law unto itself. Introducing the stringent controls proposed by Libertas would make the EU have even less decisiveness. However, in the slim chance that Libertas took control of the EU and actually made it accountable and democratic, but also efficient, the EU might actually end up being worthwhile.

Most likley though is that these once pure-hearted do-gooders will just end up corrupt troughers like anybody else, who will shy away from their election promises (Labour anybody?)

British National Party
Mr Eagle Eye likes to take a high birdshite on these assholes! Not only are they mostly bitter angry skinheads from the shitehole that is the North of England, but taking a look at their website doesn't require much intuitive inspection to summarise their real goals.

In fact, the first line of their policy is thus "On current demographic trends, we, the native British people, will be an ethnic minority in our own country within sixty years". Quite frankly, Mr Eagle Eye couldn't give a birdshite. A person's quality should be based on who they become, not who they are when they are born.

Mr Eagle Eye does not like skinheads. Mr Eagle Eye does not like the badlands of 'Tup North', and Mr Eagle Eye does certainly not like blatant racists. Mr Eagle Eye likes foreigners, for they bring their skills, their culture, and their style to these shores, and make a far more positive contribution to this country than these tossers could ever do.

It is time for Mr Eagle Eye to make a decision!

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Mr Eagle Eye now officially backs UKIP! So let's beat our wings, cast our votes, stuff that damn turkey and get the UK out of the inebriated carcass that is the European Union, which can be left to Libertas to cripple even further, whilst the UK is freed from Brussels' shackles and economically rebounds as a result!

Well, it's a dream, but not a far off one! Vote UKIP! Remember to vote UKIP!

(apologies for not posting for ages, Mr Eagle Eye has had Bird Flu (total crap, he has been studying for his MCSE exams, but Bird Flu has a better ring to it)).

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