Before I rip in to Wired, I, the omnipotently knowledgeable Mr Eagle Eye, shall summarise the upcoming scenario, as alledged by various doom prophets in my Peck Points:
- The date of 21st December 2012 is apparently significant. On this day, the sun will appear to rise in the sky in line with the centre of the Milky Way Galaxy. That doesn't sound like a big deal to Mr Eagle Eye, but he'll have his camera ready, should be a pretty photo. Also on this day is the end of our current 'age' as according to the Mayan calendar and the transition into the new age. Nostradamus and the Freemasons Guild also give their own predictions of 'changes', which doom prophets like to milk the cow dry on.
- As for 2012 itself in general, the sun is predicted to be higly active in terms of solar flares, which send lots of electromagnetic energy our way. However, this co-incides with the 'presence of an unusually large hole' in the Earth's geo-magnetic field. In summary, Mr Eagle Eye likens this to a G20 soap-dodgers protest when the riot police are down the beach in the sun! And if our electric grids get surged as predicted, Mr Eagle Eye will have trouble using the internet. Should that happen, there will be hell to pay, hell.. to.. pay.. Then you will have an apocalypse on your hands!
- Now, as for these Georgie Guidestones, they are pretty much a bastardized mutation of the Ten Commandments, but with the familiar added spice of Americanism for shits and giggles! Mr Eagle Eye will now swoop in and analyze each Commandment in detail!
- Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature. Mr Eagle Eye agrees that the human population on Earth is taking the piss now (it would require 6 Earth like planets to allow the current world population to live with the affluence of the average American). However, just as Mr Eagle Eye flew from his nest, it is humanity's duty to expand into space! Instead of killing off 9/10ths of the population, Mr Eagle Eye suggests terraforming the Moon and Mars and sending people there for starters.
8 Birdshites out of 10. - Guide reproduction wisely - improving fitness and diversity. What kind of advice is this? Is he telling us to breed humanity into a super race Hitler-style, or just that we should put the sock on in the sack? Or that we should all do our excercises, or that if there are lots of diverse groups, they won't have enough individual power to overthrow the power system this stone-brained nutcase was masturbating over.
10 Birdshites out of 10. - Unite humanity with a living new language. Yeah, tried that with Esperanto, and it was an epic fail. Why not unite humanity with an existing, widespread language that is already used in international transactions by politicians and business. English! Mr Eagle Eye suspects that with their new language imposed, the megalomaniac behind these overrated bits of rock can further confuse and control his populace
7 Birdshites out of 10. - Rule passion - faith - tradition - and all things with tempered reason. Passion doesn't follow the rules, because that is what passion is. This guy wants faith under control so no other religion challenges his status as a God, which sounds no different from any other religion that came before. Now then, 'controlling tradition' sounds most suspicious indeed to Mr Eagle Eye. Mr Eagle Eye does what he wants, when he wants, why he wants, and if some upstart God tells me what my 'traditions' are, I'll peck his eyes out and shit in the sockets!
9 Birdshites out of 10. - Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts. Maybe he was running out of ideas. Come on mate, if you have got the energy to erect big rocks ontop of a hill, inscribed with your arse-shite in ten different languages, at least think up something original.
6 Birdshites out of 10. - Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court. Didn't we try that with the Leage of Nations and then the United Nations? The UN is about as effective at resolving conflicts as alcohol is as making problems go away, and there is more meat to a vegetarian sausage than to the UN's will. Also, Mr Eagle Eye points out, in this idealistic yet tyrannically controlled world of yours, what makes you think there would be any disputes?
7 Birdshites out of 10. - Avoid petty laws and useless officials. Now then mister, when you are in power here, Mr Eagle Eye would like you to tell him, straight to his beak, what defines 'petty' and 'useless', as it seems you have given yourself rather a lot of room to maneuvre. In addition, when you refer to petty laws, did some of your own pop into mind? What a tosser.
8 Birdshites out of 10. - Balance personal rights with social duties. Sniff, sniff, I smell authoritarianism! Mr Eagle Eye states that people should have personal rights, and personal responsibilities to themselves, but not others unless there is money involved! Social duties implies that his guy must have been a tree-hugging hippy who thinks people will do everthing for free, a dictator in the making, or some wierd spawn when the two of them shared themselves.
9 Birdshites out of 10 - Prize truth - beauty - love - seeking harmony with the infinite. Another ambigious message with about as much clarity as a window made out of toast. Let Mr Eagle Eye summarize and correct this shit-gobbler; Truth is prized, that is what the science is for, what the media is for, what social interaction is for, because people prizing truth isn't a new concept. Beauty is prized, especially by Mr Eagle Eye when he's taking a look at the ladies. Not just in a sexual thing, but beauty is evidently prized as proved by architecture, art and music. And Mr Eagle Eye does not need to explain that love is also prized. As for seeking harmony with the infinite, I would try and fathom what is exactly meant, but Mr Eagle Eye would likley just get his feathers in a flap and just say F**k it!
10 Birdshites out ot 10 - Be not a cancer on the earth - Leave room for nature - Leave room for nature. That isn't a typo there kids, this idiot actually says it twice! Once was enough on your previous Commandments, so why repeat yourself here? Nature has quite enough room; as per AAAS, 50% of the human population occupies 10% of the Earth's land (that doesn't cover the oceans remember), and 75& population covers 20% of the Earth's land. And this is a population that is apparently 1000% larger than what it should be. This point is pretty redundant anyway, for if point 1 is excercised, there will be even more percentage of the Earth's land for nature to frolick in.
8 Birdshites out of 10
And Mr Eagle Eye leaves you with this!
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