The purpose of Eagle Eye This! is to entertain you, my readers, with a graphical and poisonous analysis of the latest movements in UK politics, from the standpoint of a decadant classical-liberal capitalist!
Ah, the Home Office, a government department of many tales of smoke, once again weeding out those who are ill-conformant. Mr Eagle Eye has noticed that David Nutt, special advisor to Labour, was tossed out after his suggestion that Cannabis should not be reclassified from Class C to B. And now, another special advisor has resigned over the matter.
Alan Johnson, Home Office minister, has accused Professor Nutt of 'crossing a line into politics'. Now, now, Alan Johnson, you need to sit back and chill a bit, and let Mr Eagle Eye enlighten you, for I, the splendidly wise Mr Eagle Eye, would hardly call Nutt's remarks the smoking remnants of a political rampage. In fact, Mr Eagle Eye points his ferocious feathers at you, Mr Johnson, as the one who has crossed a line, politicising what would have otherwise been a largely ignored statement. Thou built thy stoned throne, now thou can sit upon it stoned, the fumes of wisdom at last permeating your senses! Maybe you, Alan Johnson, can show true wisdom and resign from government!
And now, Mr Eagle Eye shall deliver his peck points with regard to recreational drugs:
All substances considered 'drugs', from heroin and cocaine to cigarrettes and alcohol, are items that give their consumer a desired effect. We consume food for a desired effect, and that is as natural as the hills. Drug-like substances, are therefore natural, and should be legalised without exeption.
The legalisation of drugs would destroy their 'outlaw' imagery, and free up wasted police effort. If somebody wants to consume such substances at their own leisure without being a nuisance to others, they are welcome to it.
Crimes committed under the influence should be treated exactly the same as if the crime were not committed under the influence. It is the crime that the perpetrator needs to be punished for.
Mr Eagle Eye's therefore states that it is at a person's sole individual discretion and responsibility what goes into their body and what effect it has. It is another area that there is no need for the State.
Today was a day of inadequate economo-political stimulus, for no stories of interest have caught the attention of Mr Eagle Eye! Yet, I shall not let that stop me from uttering forth words from my beak that you can read by using your eyes for I shall drag an oft-ignored topic upon the grand stage of Eagle Eye This! for all to see! For unlike the British Government, Mr Eagle Eye recognises that not everything needs stimulus in order to raise up. Hitherto, my ceaseless introduction shall cease henceforth, for Mr Eagle Eye will discuss, the matter of Organized Religion!
At the heart of the great majority of organized religions is the belief that a God or Gods created the universe. In the midst of the vicious battle between the forces of Creation and the forces of pure Science, Mr Eagle Eye throws in his two feathers:
The matter and energy of the Universe, since it's creation, can be wholly explained through science. Therefore, there has been no Godly intervention since the creation of the Universe.
The matter remains that it is uncertain what existed before the creation of the Universe. If a God (or 'Gods', can't forget the Polytheistic religions!) created the Universe, then it is possible that the act of doing so may have rendered the Godly fellow(s) incapable of interacting with it. Dead, maybe?
But wait, aren't Gods meant to be all powerful?
However, just because there has not been any Godly intervention since the creation of the Universe does not neccessarily mean that God(s) do not exist; could just be a real long nap, or just sitting back and watching it all kick off for the past few billion years.
So there you have it! Mr Eagle Eye has reached the conclusion that if there is a God, then it is not all that bothered about the Universe it created, for even though it is all-powerful, it has no desire to use those powers. There is therefore no point in attemtping to interact with a God when that same God will not even make it clear that it exists, let alone interact with you in return, selfish sod! Without further deliberation, Mr Eagle Eye can state with supreme, utter and absolute confidence that to believe in God(s) is an act of whishful fabrication, that is expoited by organized religion.
Therefore, it is not God's fault (he/she/it whatever is merely the bait), but the fault of organized religion that faith has led to a great deal of idiocy, suffering and death, a social-control tool to manipulate the masses for benefit of the puppeteer. Mr Eagle Eye now soars in the skies of liberal conviction, to brand organized religion with the smear-mark of the damned; Socialists!
Ah, Mr Eagle Eye is gliding back into familiar territory; Gord-bashing! The Guardian today reports that Brown is attempting to assist Tony Blair in his EU presidency ambitions. Now, considering how Brown and Blair's rivalry is a long-standing and calamatous one, Gord would only do such a thing when there is to be obvious benefit for himself. Mr Eagle Eye is seeing parrallels of their Prime Ministerial pact, and it is the suspicion of Mr Eagle Eye that Brown's fantasy is that he will help Blair become the President of the EU, so that Blair will in turn hand the reins of the big blue horse to Brown once it is 'the right time'.
Our dear leader may also be praying for Presidential intervention in the UK General Election. Although Labour are due a massacre, perhaps the rout may be diluted if the European President gave his backing to Gord. And Gord, drunk on delusion as always, will think that electoral victory is possible, but soon cometh the hour when the Gift of Gord shall be taken away from us, and Brown can finally sober up, and more dangerously, prepare his plotters and henchmen for their subversive goal of European conquest.
Just picture the scene! The United Kingdom, first among economic basketcases, prime cesspool of social problems, Euro-dodger in chief, sceptic of them all, providing two of the first EU Presidents! Being an unelected head of government is something that Gordon Brown is already used to, perhaps being Prime Mentalist is a practice run before he can 'save the world' properly as the EU President, or more hopefully, Presidon't!
Europe, Mr Eagle Eye hath warned thee of impending Gordogeddon! If thou hesitate to taketh the actions of justice (you know what I mean), a reign of Brown darkness shall descendeth upon ye all, from Athens to Aberdeen, from Warsaw to Westminster! Beware the Blair, for he bringeth the Brown Clown in his stead!
Good evening to you, Mr Eagle Eye has returned to the nest to deliver your order of one part venom, one part insight, all parts Eagle Eye. Being a reader of this here inscription of intellectual decadence, you already know my subject matter includes the Royal Mail.
With the CWU intermittently striking, Mr Eagle Eye is however hard at work contemplating the issue. Firstly, I will point out that whilst being a grunt worker for a postal service is not a fairly pleasant job, it is better than no job at all. This was exemplified when over 100,000 people applied for 30,000 temporary positions, despite a minimum wage pay rate. Whilst the CWU militants are crying 'Poor Me!', there is an army of unemployed people who would love to see the Leftists fired, so they can take their jobs without fuss.
However, the damage already inflicted by the CWU upon not only the Royal Mail, but the economy in general will take much longer to recover. Mr Eagle Eye is of the belief that most mail is now obsolete in an electronic age; there is absolutley no reason for the likes of bills, letters, statements and junk mail to be sent physically. And for that which needs physical courier, there are other providers. And what happens then? The workers will lose their jobs. Why, oh why is it impossible for militant unions of unskilled workers to see this?!
Oh, and what hath we here? Unite, another union of unskilled workers skating on thin ice. Granted, British Airways deserves no sympathy for their business incompetence as they teeter on the abyss, but what will a strike achieve? The shunning of British Airways by their customers, which leads to less business, and eventually, less jobs. Cabin crew is another example of a not particularly skilled position that an army of the unemployed would salivate at.
As in the 1970's as it is today, shoddy workmanship and union militancy is a self-consuming snake that is actually f**king over the workers of the firms involved, as well as the economy in general. To Mr Eagle Eye, the Left is a venemous snake screeching for sympathy as it eats it's own tail, with it's lone and rotten fang of militancy injecting itself with poison. Time to put the sorry snake out of it's misery!
So now that the Lisbon Treaty is effectively a closed deal, the EU will have President of Europe. Whilst Mr Eagle Eye can flap his feathers and peck about manically about how such a person will not have a democratic mandate, this is not a matter that can be contested now (thanks Ireland! A recession is no excuse to allow yourselves to be bullied!), so let me cast my wisdom onto the matter.
The first President of Europe will set the course of things to come for their successors. If the first President is seen as a capable and strong leader by the eyes of China, the United States et al (note the absence of European opinion, for this President is after all, unelected), Europe may be taken seriously on the international stage and punch in it's weight class for the first time since the Second World War. On the other hand, a weak President will continue to make Europe look like even more of an underachieving joke, gasping for breath whilst emerging economies balloon, and the damage may take several Presidents to recover, if at all. There is a man, whom William Hague has warned us of!
And I, Mr Eagle Eye, am in a conundrum! Europe does not have a good selection of heavyweights to choose from to represent this bickering continent. Tony Blair comes to mind, and who else? As much as Mr Eagle Eye despises Blair for his corpulent government that he delivered unto us, he is viewed with some degree of standing in the eyes of those he has not governed, particularly America. Also, for the Presidential role to carry genuine weight, centralization of power and political maneuvering will have to take place, and few are better at that than Blair. Whilst there may be other Europeans whose name is in the Presidential hat, Mr Eagle Eye cannot name them without having to look them up. China will not seriously sit down with talks with President, er, what's your name again?
Now that this Lisbon shite has splatted down to Earth, and the Conservatives will not take us out of the EU, we might as well make the best of the situation we've got. If the EU is to become a superstate with an unelected executive, let's at least be a powerful and respected superstate with an unelected executive! Or we could leave the EU, but Mr Eagle Eye suspects that Cameron has neither the will nor the bollocks.
But the EU is missing an open goal here, staring them right down the f**king beak! It's on their doorstep, and is pretty big. In fact, they don't get much bigger; Russia. Let's get Russia into the EU! Now that is what Mr Eagle Eye calls enlargement!
Sqwuak, sqwuak! I, Mr Eagle Eye, have returned to this here blog from my unnaccountable hiatus! Unaccountability is currently so in fashion that Mr Eagle Eye couldn't help but fly onto the bandwagon for a bit. Yeah, I was lazy, but it's time to shit out an egg of poisonous political scripture! Question Time was not a major event in British politics, and the BNP is not on a long-term roll. This was a momentary measma of madness, and it wasn't even BNP initiated. Mr Eagle Eye is of the opinion (and automatically correct opinion, for I am, after all, Mr Eagle Eye) that the BBC was right to include Nick Griffin on an episode of Question Time. Like him or shite on him, McDoom One-Eye II has democratic legitimacy his party has 2 MEPs. However, the BBC handled the show very poorly, with Dimbleby allowing the show to become, as Griffin fairly describes, a 'lynch mob'. Furthering the fuckery was ignoring questions regarding the EU, and the economy, in favour of race-talk. Mr Eagle Eye cannot recall any mention of the economic situation, the Lisbon treaty, or the Royal Mail postal strikes, present and meaningful political issues. The show did digress from the 'let's all have a go at Griffin' mentality for, wait for it, an article, written in the Daily Fail, about Stephen Gately's death. Mr Eagle Eye doesn't care.
The actions of Unite Against Facism and the protesters were an example of those who say they are on the side of freedom actually showing a darker, more authoritarian side in trying to silence those of a viewpoint different to themselves. Mr Eagle Eye states henceforth that Free Speech is not free unless it is free to all. When you start deciding who can say what, that is fascism, so go on, UAF, take this syringe full of 80mg of totalitaricide, and inject it straight up your Leftist arses, and as you lay wriggling on the ground, Mr Eagle Eye shall deliver bird-shite upon thee. Descrimination against the descriminatory still counts as descrimination. Let the BNP say what they want, because that is the way they make fools out of themselves and provide comedy material.
Mr Eagle Eye would like to clarify the direction of his beak in regards to Immigration:
Britain, a traditionally Western nation (race is irrelevant, I'm talking culture here), should promote and defend the values of tolerance, liberty and free-speech in matters economical, personal and social. Everyone should have the right to such universal concepts.
The main issue with immigration is not disrespect of other cultures, colours, whatever. It is an issue of resources and infrastructure. With many power stations soon to be decommissioned, housing shortages, transport capacity at breaking point as just a few examples that come to Mr Eagle Eye's enormous head, the United Kingdom simply cannot provide for the exponential increase of new arrivals.
Whilst nice, interesting and diverse for the comfortable classes, mass immigration is devastating for the UK-born working class, who have to compete with them for affordable housing, social welfare, school places, healthcare and jobs.
Mr Eagle Eye does not like the BNP, and does not like Nick Griffin; but credit to where credit is due. He is filling not just a political void, but a seething vacuum. It is only the history and reputation of the BNP that is stopping it from garnering widespread public support, a glass ceiling with his odd face smeared against it; 43% share their ideals with the BNP, yet loathe the party itself. But In the opinion of Mr Eagle Eye, all a mainstream party needs to do is to copy, paste, and tinker some of the BNP's stances, and they will take advantage of the vacuum that Griffin can only dream of doing.
Race is not an issue, but immigration is. And today, Labour has admitted to their schemes of the past decade, to use immigration to socially engineer the United Kingdom. So, at the expense of future economic and social problems, Labour wanted to achieve what exactly? All this has led for is more people on benefits who Labour hope will vote for them. To knowingly socially-engineer a society for the benefit of the rulers is what the ilk of the Nazis, Stalinists, and Dictators have espoused, and Labour now join that company. Perhaps there is a UN court or the like where this matter can be taken to. A far more merciful fate than what Mr Eagle Eye would like to enact upon the Leftist cretins!
Mr Eagle Eye has awoken to this Eagle Eye catching article; Ed Balls is supposedly to mount a leadership challenge if Brown doesn't 'Up His Game'. Given that the source, News of the World, draws more parrallels to a comic book than a newspaper, Mr Eagle Eye is sceptical of this, but nevertheless, it is worth a look.
Balls has been one of Browns most loyal enforcers, and for him to publically issue a challenge to Brown is quite a turn around. According to Balls, he will challenge Brown at the Labour Party conference if there has not been a 'miraculous recovery' in Labour's fortunes. Now, Mr Eagle Eye is likley safe in assuming that there is as much chance of that as Ahmedinejad conceding defeat in Iran's elections.
However, it could just be another ploy to cause disarray among those who genuinely wish to challenge the Prime Mentalist
What with Milliband yesterday admitting he considered quitting when his buddy Purnell walked, several Labour MPs threatening to stand as an alternative to Labour, and Mandelson publically expecting further leadership challenges, the Gord is certainly not safe on his sh*tter. He's got quite a few months of anticipation of the next rebellion. But whether the Resistance can actually work together and succeed is another matter entireley!
Mr Eagle Eye knows it is important to ensure that a chick knows how to fly from the nest before it soars forth towards the exciting unknown! Likewise, Mr Eagle Eye understands the pressing urgency for reform of the Education system.
Mr Eagle Eye proposes that education organisations be run privately, giving parents and students greater choice of specialism, maximising development of talent.
Privatisation of schools, colleges, universities and other educational institutions, allowing them greater flexibility of operation and choice for parent and students, whilst maintaining a National Curriculum and leage tables to allow for ease of comparison.
Revision of the National Curriculum to make it more relevant to the practical world, together with increasing the difficulty of testing environments and exams, so that students are capable and confidently prepared for the challenges facing them.
Encouragement of secondary schools to allow avenues for specialisation, allowing students to develop advanced understandings of their chosen path at an earlier age, giving them a great start into an increasingly specialist university and employment world.
Regular liaison with businesses and economists to forecast areas of the economy that would face a shortfall in skills, and subsidizing students who partake into those specialities. Subsidies will only be permitted where multiple, independent experts draw the same conclusions.
Parents who do not have their children officially educated at a private institution will be responsible for the education of their children, and will be under legal obligation to satisfy the standards set by the National Curriculum.
Whilst UK politics seems to have slowed to a crawl since the European Elections, I, the ever insightful and gloriously wise Mr Eagle Eye, shall be putting together my Eagle Eye Manifesto! It is suggested you heed it and heed it well, for it is not just a contintent of common sense, more a tectonic plate!
Now, whereth does Mr Eagle Eye begin? To quote James Carville (strategist for Bill Clinton during the US Elections in 1992), "It's the Economy, Stupid!", and Mr Eagle Eye agrees! The economy should be the absolute central cornerstone of any government plan; all other aspects are arbitrary, for if the economy does well, everything else has a chance of doing well.
Now, these are only brief peck points for now, and they shall be expanded on in due course!
Mr Eagle Eye proposes drawing back on public spending and it's associated taxation as much as possible, in favour of a free economy, with free people and free markets.
Cut Public Spending by privatising Healthcare, Education and other public services, as privately run services operate more efficiently. Less value is lost through the financial incontinence of government administration and beauracracy.
Reversing the expansion of, and the gradual phasing out of the Welfare State. This will end the culture of state dependency on part of the claimants, encouraging self-responsibility. In addition, it will further reduce government administration and beaureacracy.
A strive to make the UK the easiest and most opportunistic place in the World to set up and operate a business by slashing business taxes and restrictive laws. This will attract investment, encourage free-market competition and innovation, and increase employment.
A consistent approach to controlling any public spending to ensure that the government expenditure does not exceed income, with the aim to ensure a healthy surplus is amassed during booms in order to help the nation during a recession without resorting to burrowing.
During a recession, any government stimulus is to be limited only to using the surplus amassed during the boom. Even in the event that all the surplus is used, the government will not burrow any money, choosing instead the more responsible action of riding it out.
The intense antipathy Mr Eagle Eye feels for Gordon Brown and the repulsive rabble that consists of the Labour Party is something that grows continously each day, seemingly expanding my imaginitive capabilities for disgust. After their well deserved devastation in the local and European elections last week, the odious troll and his goblin brigade have suddenly and conveniently decided that Britain needs Proportional Representation. Labour might need Proportional Representation, but the UK certainly does not! So terrified are Labour that they will be rightfully punished by the electorate for a generation, they are trying to ditch an electoral system that has served the UK well; First Past The Post.
Under Proportional Representation, when Labour get decimated at election day, they will end up with more MPs, as PR gives more respesentation to smaller parties. And that is what Labour will be, a small party, still trying to cling to power with as much charm as a dried on bird-shite that stubbornly resists the cleansing wash. But what Mr Eagle Eye really disapproves of is that coalition governments are more likley under PR. Government involves enough debate and procedure as is, even in the existence of a FPTP strong government majority. PR coalitions will induce only extend the endless fiffle-faffle, adding to the inefficiency of government.
The last thing we need is Labour sh*t-sticking to power in a coalition. This is why Mr Eagle Eye approves of Tory Posh Toffs and Aristocrats in government; they are so used to being powerful that giving up government power is no sweat for them, they can take a loss like a man and get on with it. For Labour socialists however, this will be the only time they ever have power, and they will hold on to the edge until they have to be forcibly ripped back into their real life of being bitter and pathetic bleed-hearts.
Labour have done everything possible to subvert the House of Lords, subvert the Commons, subvert the Speaker, subvert any knid of rule designed to keep them under control, and now they want to subvert the electoral system. F*ck off Labour, f*ck off and take your fate like men, sayeth Mr Eagle Eye! You f*cking socialists are all the f*cking same, all you ever do is take everything to the sh*tter, leaving the superior classes to sort out the mess left by your horrendous incompetance.
Well, that was a bit anticlimatic, poor show, sqwuaketh Mr Eagle Eye! The Resistance seem to be being totally out-maneuvered by Brown's cabal of thugs. But that will only last so long as Mandleson decides to stick around Gord's side. However, it is no secret that Mandelson craves the office of Foreign Secretary. This will give others leverage over Mandelson too.
Now with under a year to go until a general election, time is ticking away for Mandelson; if he wants to be Foreign Secretary, he needs to act soon, and he will sell his services to the highest bidder. If there are any upstarts with any balls, promising Mandelson the Foreign Secretary role once Brown is down would be a good place to start.
Hopefully, Brown will stay on; each week he stays translates into more seats for the Conservatives, and more years of Labour in the wilderness, post election. But whilst Mr Eagle Eye hopes Brown stays on, Mr Eagle Eye wishes him the worst ride of his life, lurching from scandal to scandal, until Labour are once again crippled for a generation!
Now is the highly anticipated PLP meeting. But first, let Mr Eagle Eye take you through a bird'-brained tour of the day's peckery!
Jane Kennedy (Environment Minister) is the latest to leave the cabinet in revulsion at the stench surrounding the Brown Head. She quoteth thus: "I was asked if I wanted to stay in government and if I did, would I give an assurance that I would be in support of Gordon Brown? I wasn't able to give them that assurance and therefore I have not been reappointed to the government."
"I fought against Militant in the 1980s and helped the Labour Party drive them out, because I was applled at their conduct: the bullying, the threats and the intimidation. I can’t stand by and say I am content when that is still happening"
Brown is showing just how much of an contemptable psychopath he has really become; he is judging his senior figures in government not on their ability or their experience, but on whether they will watch his back. His attempts to enforce control by smearing the disloyal with threats of expense leaks seem to be working effectively, but for how long. The Labour government has already shown that it is incapable of governing the country to an acceptable standard, even with their first team. This bunch of brown-nosing cretins will not be any better, and likley to be even worse.
Frank Field has revealed that the 'Brownites are terrorising Labour MPs'. As Mr Eagle Eye alluded to in previous pecakge, the use of fear to maintain obedience effectively constitutes a police state. But police states always fall, as their vicious cycle of using ever more brutal enforcement to hold down ever more persistant rebellion lead to ruin for tyrant.
And that is what Brown is, says Mr Eagle Eye; a tryant. A cycloptic, delusional, overbearing, psychopathic tyrant, who cares not about his party or his country, only on leaving his legacy, no matter what form it takes in the real world, let alone in his own eclectic universe that composes his mind. The parralels to Hitler are becoming more apparent with each passing day.
But Frank Field has more! "I was one of the seven who would not support his coronation after Tony Blair was shoehorned out of Number 10"
"But even I didn't think a Brown administration would be as inept as this one.
"The Brownites are attempting to terrorise Labour MPs into inaction. If they succeed then we deserve our fate."
Whilst Brown continues his hastening slide into what can only now be described as an alternative reality of his own mental construction, Labour MP's are showing an opposite trend of slowly drifting down from Blair Cloud 9 and telling it like it is, in spite of Gord's spin. When the government is using more spin on itself than the opposition, something is very amiss!
Mr Eagle Eye is recovering after another late night, but is sqwuaking with triumph!
It was a right-of-centre one-two! Conservatives and UKIP topped the nest! Labour did not do as badly as Mr Eagle Eye had hoped, but Mr Eagle Eye puts this blame at the feet of the Liberal Democrats!
Further Eagle Eye Analysis later once the full results are in. But alas, I am at work, so in-depth peckery is postponed until lunchtime!
Gordon Brown is 'swaggering in his own sorrow' according to a german newspaper!
***Update*** 00:30
UKIP Win Plymouth
Conservatives win Chorley
Labour win Liverpool
Conservatives win Eden
Conservatives win North Somerset
Labour win Waltham Forest
Labour win Birmingham
London Results are in:
Conservatives Win London, with 3 MEPs
Labour 2
UKIP 1
Liberal Democrats 1
Green 1
***Update*** 23:30
Conservatives win Herefordshire
Conservatives win Dumfries and Galloway
Conservatives win Forest of Dean
Conservatives win Wales. Confirmed! First time since 1918!
Conservatives win Yorkshire and Humber. Confirmed!
Labour in 5th place in 36 councils. The BNP have just won a seat in Yorkshire. Mr Eagle Eye's feathers are ruffled!
'Nick Griffin will be on Gordon Brown's Christmas Card List' Mr Eagle Eye is laughing like a chick in the nest! The BBC has already immediately put their attention on the BNP, pushing Labour disaster to the sidelines. ***Update*** 23:25
***Update*** 23:00 The Conservatives are winning well, and UKIP are coming a healthy second in plenty of places too. Labour are doing as badly as expected, but the Liberal Democrats are getting mauled.
Results are coming in thick and fast, Mr Eagle Eye has naught the time to do even a brief analysis!
Conservatives win Broadland
Conservatives win Maidstone
Conservatives win Essex
Conservatives win Mid Suffolk
***Update*** 22:50
Conservatives win South Norfolk
Conservatives win Windsor and Maidenhead
SNP win Scotland?
Conservatives win Wales
SNP win Angus
UKIP win Newcastle Under Lyme
Conservatives win Hammersmith & Fulham
Conservatives win Yorkshire and Humber region!
Conservatives win Leeds
Conservatives win Selby
***Update*** 22:35 Sky's Projection for the South East:
Conservatives 440,000
UKIP 220,000
Liberal Democrats 170,000
Green 130,00
Labour 90,000
Labour win Wakefield
Labour win Haringey
***Update*** 22:30
Conservatives win Clewyd West
Conservatives win Wrexham?
Conservatives win Renfrewshire
Conservatives win Cornwall
Conservatives win Cardiff South
Labour coming fifth in:
Ribble Valley
New Forest
Banstead
Isle of Wight
Eastbourne
Guildford
Derbyshire Dales
S Staffordshire
W.Worcestershire
Wokingham
Canterbury
Torbay
***Update*** 22:25 More in! LabourList are doing a good job!
Labour win Hackney
Conservatives win Calderdale.
Conservatives win Fenland
Conservatives win Richmond
10% BNP vote in Leeds and 13% in Wakey. ***Update*** 22:20 Places where Labour is coming fifth:
Epping Forest
North Norfolk
West Dorset
Ashford
Elmbridge
East Herts
Richmond on Thames
***Update*** 22:15 John Prescott has been pretty invisible lately, but Two-Jabs will want to retreat further into his den!
UKIP Win Hull! John Prescott's constituency!
Conservatives win Stroud
Conservatives win Scarborough
***Update*** 22:05 Mr Eagle Eye's beak is shaking from the constant peckery!
Conservatives win Cheshire West and Chester, UKIP second
Conservatives win Sheffield
Conservatives win Rochdale
Labour win Ealing
Labour win Barnsley
***Update*** 22:00
Conservatives win West Lancashire
Conservatives win Hindburn
Conservatives winning in Wales
Liberal Democrats getting annihilated!
66% for the EPP in Hungary ***Update*** 21:50
Conservatives win Wandsworth
Labour win Blackpool
***Update*** 21:45 The North East result is in! Whilst Labour have won, they have lost 9% since their last result here of 34%:
Labour 25%
Conservatives 19.8%
Liberal Democrats 17.6%
UKIP 15.4%
BNP 8.9%
Green 5.8%
Other 7.8%
Conservatives win Blackpool
***Update*** 21:40 They're coming through in two's, it's like Noahs Ark!
Conservatives win Pendle
Conservatives win Sutton?
Or Not!
Conservatives win Bexley
Conservatives win Enfield
***Update*** 21:35 Finally, some Liberal Democrats are poking their nose through the curtain:
Liberal Democrats win Watford
Liberal Democrats win Newcastle
***Update*** 21:30
From ConservativeHome: "Labour look likely to be FIFTH in South East.KEY POINT: LABOUR IS FALLING FURTHER IN TRADITIONAL TORY AREAS THAN WE DID IN TRADITIONAL LABOUR AREAS AT OUR LOW POINT."
Excellent, excellent! ***Update*** 21:25 It's not all annihilation for Labour! Blast!
Labour win in Manchester
Labour win in Blackburn with Darwen
***Update*** 21:15 The Tories are winning, as to be expected, but it looks like a real battle between UKIP, Labour and the Liberal Democrats for second and third place.
Conservatives win in Westminster with nearly 50% of the vote!
Conservatives win in Suffolk, UKIP second, Labour fifth!
Conservatives win in Darlington, Labour second, UKIP third. Curses!
***Update*** 20:55 The Left annihilated in Austria. Hurrah! Mr Eagle Eye feels like yodelling to the hills!
But the Far Right gains. Bugger. Can't have it all!
***Update*** 20:50 Labour 5th or 6th in the East of England region?
It's a rumour, but Mr Eagle Eye likes it! ***Update*** 20:20 Interesting point that in spite of the Republic of Ireland receiveing large EU subsidies, they still voted against the Lisbon treaty.
***Update*** 19:45 Latest indications from Mid Devon:
Conservatives - 37%
UKIP - 20%
Liberal Democrats - 19%
***Update***19:40 Former Labour heavyweight Tony Benn is making a good point that if Labour deliver on a promise for a Europe referendum, their fortunes would reverse. With the Conservatives and UKIP particularly set to win big, the pressing issue is the UK's status as an EU country, whether Brown, Cameron or Clegg want to listen to that or not. ***Update*** 19:30 Nick Griffin is struggling when being asked if he is proud of Black British sportspeople winning things. He tried to dodge Lewis Hamilton by saying he was interested in Boxing, not F1. But was then asked about Frank Bruno, he practically sh*t himself!
However, Nick Griffin is likley to become an MEP...
***Update*** 19:20 LabourList are showing what look like good early showings for Labour in Manchester:
(4,500 ballots)
Labour 1,454 (34%)
Conservative 599 (14%)
Liberal Democrat 715 (17%)
UKIP 407 (9%)
BNP 329 (8%)
But they are 6th in Cornwall, behind even the Cornish Nationalists!
***Update*** 18:55 'If you are a Labour supporter in Bracknell, you will never have any joy, except perhaps the joy of solitude'
Not just in Bracknell!
Early Indications!
26% Conservatives
18% UKIP
16% Labour
***Update*** 18:50 The UK, France, Germany and Italy hold the most seats in the EU parliament. The EPP (coalition of centre-right parties) are set to do well in these states.
States? Oh dear, the virus of European Federalism has infected Mr Eagle Eye! Oh Noes! ***Update*** 18:35 Conservatives way ahead in the South West, but UKIP expected to do well. Labour are expected to lose their only seat in the region.
Liberal Democrats will be battling for third place.
***Update*** 18:30 France and Germany; right wing parties winning Greece; left wing parties winning.
France and Germany have more seats than Greece does. So ha! Fail for you, Left Wingers!
***Update*** 18:25 Nigel Farage is on the radio. Highlights:
Nigel: 'Protest votes shown in fall in turnout; they say 'go away all of you'. Voting for UKIP on policy. Only people pushing for a sensible debate regarding immigration and open borders, to paying £40m a day to an organization that hasn;t published it's accounts for 14 years in a row.'
Nigel: 'If it's 9 (UKIP) MEPs, I'm gone. If it's 20 (UKIP) MEPs, Gordon Brown's gone!'
Farage seems very optimistic, and the radio hosts are predicting a UKIP share of the votes between 18 to 20%.
Mr Eagle Eye predicts 21%
***Update*** 18:05 ConsevativeHome: "Labour to lose its only MEP in the South West. Indications from the South West point to a very bad night for Labour and a robust performance from UKIP."
A bold call. Let's see what the night will bring!
***Original Post***
Mr Eagle Eye is ready, and tuned in to Play Radio UK for live results. The worse Labour do, and the better UKIP do, the more Mr Eagle Eye will eat and drink, and the later he'll stay up!
James Purnell, the former secretary for Work & Pensions, has booked a drinks party at Manchester Town Hall on Monday evening! Along with Caroline Flint, he is one of the few senior Labour Party figures who have grown a pair, and actively called for Brown's head.
Now, one only books such a grand occassion for a major event, no? And what kind of major events may take place on a Monday the day after a second election annihilation in three days? Is Purnell hoping to celebrate with his Blairite cohorts on the destruction of Gordon Brown? Unless, of course, he has another plausible explaination!
Monday day-time is when the Parliamentary Labour Party meet the Prime Minister for the first time after the Weekend of Destruction. If Gordogeddon is going to happen any time soon, Monday will be the most likley day to see everythig kick off again!
Mr Eagle Eye approves of this bravado, and feels Mr Purnell deserves a pint!
Peter Mandelson is the epitimone of a career politician. His ability to mastermind and scheme his way through politics and government for his own self benefit is something that Mr Eagle Eye finds fascinating about the one referred to as 'The Dark Lord'.
The emails have been leaked today, even though they were sent in January last year. Emails are possibly one of the easiest forms of communication to leak, so there is a reason this was leaked now. Mandelson, the king of political blackmail, has something planned for Gord. Try as hard as he might to be a step ahead of his arch-rival, the cyclops will not see it coming.
This was supposed to be a day for Brown to catch his breath before another election catastrophe for Labour. Not to be! Mandelson has only fired his airgun; his real rifle is trained on Brown, and the only reason Mandelson is not pulling the trigger is that he is enjoying the feeling of power with Brown well and truly planted in the cross-hairs.
It's only a question of what will have Mandelson pull the trigger. Mr Eagle Eye will hope to have a bird's eye view of when Mandelson fires the first real shot!
The London Evening Standard, in the form of Paul Waugh's blog, has leaked a memo from Downing Street to the Labour Party. It gives the beleaguered troops of the red army effectiveley a DIY on how to, for want of a better term, give Brown a different kind of blow if you want any chance of keeping your job.
Mr Eagle Eye shall henceforth tear it to shreds and litter it with his bird-shite. It is a long and dour piece of propaganda, but worry not, for I, Mr Eagle Eye, shall provide my analysis to help give thou a smoother and more entertaining tide.
So, let us begin! Here is the article in full:
ELECTION BRIEFING: FRIDAY MORNINGTough times for Labour – but not the breakthrough the Tories wanted either.
Granted, the majority of these elections were not in the traditional urban Labour strongholds, but take a look at the map to your right. The only red I see on there is on the legend.
With all results now declared, Labour have lost control of all the councils that were up for grabs in this election, losing three of those to the Tories.
One line in, and it's already been reduced to a denial of reality. Mr Eagle Eye can tell he is reading something written by Labour.
We need to work hard together to come through this recession, listen to the voters, and earn back people’s trust after the expenses scandal. But if we do that then we can be confident that in a head-to-head with the Tories - where the choice is between a Labour party led by Gordon Brown and determined to stand by people, or a Tory party led by David Cameron that would walk on by when people need help most - then we can go forward from today and win.
It's not like it could get much worse for them, but their emphasis that Gordon Brown will be leader would be enough to make Mr Eagle Eye lose his lunch, if he had eathen it yet.
I think the whole cabinet have found James Purnell’s resignation surprising and disappointing. Labour Party supporters were out campaigning hard yesterday and this is the last thing they would have wanted to see.
It was the first thing Mr Eagle Eye wanted to see! And it kept me awake the rest of the night!
James is still in the early stages of his career and I’m sure he’ll be back.
After Brown's departure, of course!
His decision is the wrong one, as cabinet colleagues have said.I think James has drawn the wrong conclusion for two reasons. First, the public wants to send us a message that after a month of hearing about moats and mortgages and duck houses that they are angry about expenses and want them sorted out fast.
And what of expenses claimed by MPs in your own party? The Tories' turds do stink, but that does not mean your shite doesn't smell any better.
Second, they are worried about their jobs and want us to return our focus to accelerating economic recovery. Now those are the plans that Gordon Brown is working on and over the coming week he will make sure that he has a first class team full square behind him.
Like the one that has just deserted him? These new ministers were chosen on their ability to crawl up arse, not on ability to perform.
We now need to listen to voters’ anger over expenses and to act.
By calling an election?
The last thing the country needs right now is for the party to turn inward. Faith in politics has been badly shaken and needs to be restored. Families are worried about their homes and jobs and are trusting us to stand by them and bring them through the downturn. It is already clear that these are going to be a tough set of elections at a tough time for the Labour Party - we’re in the middle of a recession, turnout is significantly down, people are clearly angry about expenses and as the party of government with the most MPs, it looks like we’re feeling the brunt of that anger.
Oh, Mr Eagle Eye's heart bleeds! You poisonous dowagers still have the self-righteousness to plead for sympathy, and it makes you all the more contemptable. After twelve years in power, Labour has created all of it's own problems. After a bumbling toddler has just knocked glass on the floor, do you trust them to pick up the shards?
There are some interesting results. We’ve won seats from the SNP in Scotland and held seats in places like Hastings where the Tories might have been expected to advance – meanwhile the Tories came seventh in the Hartlepool mayoral election. Tough times for Labour but not great for Cameron either.
How selective. You are talking about individual seats. The Tories have murdered you overall. Your hand-picked facts are the exception, not the norm!
Voters who are angry about MPs flipping homes or cleaning their moats on expenses are staying at home or voting for minor parties - but they are not switching in great numbers to the Tories. The Tories got 44% last year, when the local votes are projected into a nationwide vote. This time they’re predominantly in their heartlands but they don’t appear to be lifting off from that result. That tells us that Labour need to respond to people’s concerns but in a head-to-head, we can still win the fight with the Tories.
The Tories may not have advanced much, but you have been annihilated. So, the net result is that the Tories are still kicking your ass.
It’s hard to translate European and local election results into consequences for a General Election. In 1989, when we were in opposition, Labour won the European elections - but lost the 1992 General Election. In 2004, Labour were down to 22% - but we beat the Conservatives in the elections the following year.Sunday’s national results will tell us a bit more. Anything less than 36% for the Tories means that David Cameron is falling short of where William Hague was in 1999. They had 27 MEPs last time - it will be interesting to see if they get many, many more.
Not just scraping the barrell, but getting inside and licking the splinters. Seeing the desperation in socialists is such magnificent entertainment. Hopefully, with them inside the barrell, we can set it on fire and set it rolling down the hill!
Going forward: in the coming weeks we will set out widescale plans for cleaning up politics and accelerating our recovery and reforming public services.
Clean up politics - Call an election Accelerate our recovery - Call an election Reform public services - Call an election
Q&A: James Purnell’s Resignation? I am obviously disappointed about James’s resignation. The Prime Minister and the rest of the Cabinet are absolutely focussed on the big challenges of cleaning up our politics and getting Britain back to work quicker: how we guide the economy through the downturn and strengthen it for the future how we push ahead with reform of and investment in our public services how we renew trust in our democracy and Parliament. It is sad that James has gone but we get on with the job of helping people through this downturn fairly. The PM will continue to give his undivided attention to addressing these great challenges facing our country and putting the interests of the British people first and foremost.
The only thing they will be disappointed about is that they didn't have the spine to make the move. Purnell and Flint have been the only ministers with the balls to stand up to Brown, and his increasing level of psychopathy. Flint's tirade yesterday was particularly castrating!
John Hutton resignation? John is going to step down as an MP at the next election for personal reasons. Really sad to see him go – he’s done a fantastic job. Whole party will thank him for his contribution over the years at Dept for Health and at BERR, and particularly for his recent leadership at the Ministry of Defence, where, in the most challenging times, he has overseen the end of combat operations in Iraq and supported our troops in bringing security and stability to Afghanistan.
A massive dodge of the main issue. Why would Hutton, if this effective, not be on the same side as Brown? Labour showing once again that they only can deal with the issues they want to see, like a child covering their eyes and pretending they are not there.
Time to Change Leader? Right now we face the two great challenges of this era - an economic crisis that has engulfed the world and caused global recession; and a political crisis that has engulfed Westminster. In Gordon Brown we have someone not only with the economic leadership and experience to tackle the global recession and to steer us through the downturn but with the integrity and determination to sort out the challenge of MPs’ expenses.
"There comes a point when stubborness isn't leadership, it's stupidity." - Nick Clegg. Oh, Gordon Brown does have economic leadership and experience all right! He was the one who engineered our economic catastrophe. Inheriting a healthy surplus from Major's Tories in 1997, Brown's decadent policies have turned the UK into one of the most debt-laden nations on Earth. As a tyrant does more to maintain a stranglehold on power, history time and again has shown it to have the opposite effect, with ever more insurgent rebellion from inside, and action from outside.
Has Labour been worst hit by expenses row? The vast majority of MPs work terrifically hard for their constituents and have been appalled by some of the wilder stories about moats or swimming pools. All agree that we need to take action now to restore faith in Parliament. It’s important to remember that the expenses crisis is not just confined to government but to all parties - and even David Cameron has had to answer questions about his two mortgages.
And even Gordon Brown today has to answer questions about his own two second homes! Few things are more satisfying to Mr Eagle Eye than seeing left-wing wobble-gobs having their own diatride used against them.
What about resignations from Jacqui Smith and Hazel Blears? Sad to see them leave - both have an excellent record. As Home Secretary, Jacqui has cut crime; introduced the tough Australian points based immigration system; and rolled out neighbourhood policing across the country. And as Communities Secretary, Hazel has led reforms in local government and ensured that we’ve had better local services as well as the lowest average council tax increase in 15 years.
They have even said it themselves, Jacqui copied someone else's idea. Anybody could do that. Crime has not been 'cut', a great choice of word there with Jacqui Smith's record on knife crime figures not one to be proud of.
What are you doing on expenses? The vast majority of our MPs have worked terrifically hard and are doing an excellent job. They didn’t come into politics to get rich but to help people and all of them are determined to restore faith in Parliament. The old system is dead. An independent-led body will now check the claims of every MP over the past 4 years. We have agreed that in future MPs should no longer set their own pay, allowances or standards of conduct and that these should be handed over to independent regulation. MPs’ allowances are being stripped right back:- no more claims on moats or swimming pools;- no claims on furniture, household goods, gardening, cleaning, or stamp duty; - no more ‘flipping’ or avoiding Capital Gains Tax;- mortgage claims only on interest and capped at a maximum of £1,250 a month; - no more London MPs claiming second homes;- no more second home allowances for those in grace-and-favour homes;- and no more secret second jobs.
If it were not for the leaks to the Telegraph, Mr Eagle Eye has extreme doubts as to whether you would even have cared. All it took was a media maelstrom, and you've all sh*t yourselves. No matter how much you try to spin that the Tories have been damaged by this, you cannot escape the fact that this has hurt you more as the governing party, and they will destroy you in a General Election.
Don’t we need a General Election? Neither of the two great challenges we face - the economic challenge and the political challenge - would be solved by an election. And the last thing the country needs is for Labour to be talking to itself. That is why the Prime Minister and the Cabinet are focussed on the big challenges that matter to the British people: cleaning up our politics and getting Britain back to work quicker.
The last thing we need is a Labour government! History shows us that the economy performs better under a Conservative government than under a Labour one. Therefore, the economic challenge would be solved by an election. The political challenge is that we face a Prime Minister that might be blind in one eye, but the real danger is that he is showing us that he is deaf, ignoring increasingly louder and angrier calls for a General Election.
Why are the BNP winning in places? BNP success down to three things: first, gut reaction of voters wanting to punish main parties; second, very low turnout; and third, their deliberate strategy of attempting to gloss over their racist nature. That means all main parties, not just Labour, need to listen and respond to voters’ anger over expenses; encourage people to get out and vote - which they will do in greater numbers at an election; and all of us need to uncover the true face of the BNP who are led by a man with convictions for inciting racial hatred. Many of the people who’ve voted for BNP are not racist and I think many of them would be appalled by the nature of that organisation as it begins to show its true face.
The other major parties have been taking action on their MPs. It is Labour who have been ignoring their own demonstrations of blatant troughery. Both Labour and the BNP appeal to the same group, the aimless, bitter, benefit-receiveing underclass. The only difference is that the BNP only appeals to the section of the underclass which is British White.
Do you accept part responsibility for rise in BNP? The BNP are a fascist Party - our parents and grandparents fought a World War to defeat what the BNP stands for. There is a duty on all parties to fight the values of the BNP. We’ve campaigned hard and the PM was out on Monday directly addressing the threat of the BNP - quite unusually for a sitting PM.
Classic question-dodging here. They have not denied their blatant responsibility for losing their underclass vote to the BNP. Instead, another miserable attempt at grovelling for sympathy. Pathetic.
The Tories are saying that Labour is to blame for the rise in the BNP - are they right? No. We would much rather be fighting the Tories in white working class areas but in many of the places targeted by the BNP there has been no sign of the Tories since Margaret Thatcher in the mid-80s. We know that it tends to be unemployed men who are most likely to vote for the BNP - that’s why it is so important that we reach out to that group - for example, we are giving a guarantee of a job or training place to every young person out of work for more than a year. Instead of trying to get some kind of party political advantage out of this, the Tories should be setting out what they would do to help the unemployed in white working class areas, instead of ignoring them.
Unlike Brown and his Labour cabal, Cameron has the sense to understand that there is no point putting a Tory up for election in a ward where the vast majority of the electorate are unemployed doll-scroungers. And Mr Eagle Eye says this! These people are not working class. Working class people actually work, the unemployed are the Underclass! Might not sound pretty or PC, but it's true, so stop being pussies over it. Maybe labelling them as such would instill enough anger in them to actually do something with their lives rather than live off the state and watch Jeremy Kyle.
Background facts: Most of the seats are in county council Tory heartlands - and the last time we fought them was on General Election days when turnout was much higher - so our expectation is low. The councils up for election are predominantly County Councils in two tier areas (27). The three Labour-controlled councils majority (Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Staffordshire) are all vulnerable. There are also Mayorals - although we only hold one out of the four up for election and that in an area the Tories have traditionally held.
Derbyshire, which Labour has run for 28 years, was convincingly won by the Tories. Nottinghamshire, another Conservative tide of Blue, with 22 Labour councillors losing their seats. Staffordshire, was total murder for Labour, losing 29 councillors, and finishing in 4th place.
Highlights so far:Labour gain from SNP in Glasgow (Anniesland / Drumchapel Ward). Anne McTaggart wins 2689 - 1698 on second stage of transfersLabour gain from SNP in North Lanarkshire (Coatbridge North and Drumboig Ward). Peter Sullivan wins on several stages of transfers after leading SNP by 37% - 30% of first prefsHartlepool mayoral results:first preferences only. Tories beaten into 7th place behind UKIP and the BNP. Lib Dems losing deposit.Results for Hastings:Braybrooke and Castle - Labour hold with 47% of the vote Central St Leonards and Gensing - Labour hold with 40% of the voteHollington and Wishing Tree - labour hold with 43% of the vote
Handpicking single seats, whilst the Conservatives destroy you in councils up and down the country. Highlights? More like a few stuttering lightbulbs! Poor!
After receiving this document of drivel, Mr Eagle Eye wonders how many more Labour figures are due to ignore it. Those following this document and sucking up to Brown are easy to spot; they are parroting this nonsense practically line for line.
Three in a day! Mr Eagle Eye is grinning from ear to ear, eyes wide with vigourous joy, as Brown's cabinet collapses further into it's state of anarcho-fascist turmoil. Margaret Beckett (Housing) and Geoff Hoon (Transport) are now the latest to desert Brown today, following in the footsteps of John Hutton (Defence) and James Purnell (Work & Pensions). And word just in! Caroline Flint (Europe) has just walked in the middle of Brown's reshuffle speech!
That is five ministers in under 24 hours!
And Brown's reaction to power slipping through his fingers is to tighten his fisthold further. After Purnell's resignation last night, Brown's cronies were calling Ministers, ordering to either back Brown in no uncertain terms, or lose their positions. Hated by the electorate, and hated by his own party, Brown is losing long-time Labour heavy-hitters, not due to the effectiveness of the opposition, but because he is demonstrating more and more the trademarks of a declining Fascist; a vicious cycle of attempting to deal with rebellion with paranoia and excessive authority, operating the Labour party like a toy town police state. His attempts to intimidate his own front bench and party are failing pathetically, just like the government as a whole.
Another MP, Ian Gibson, is standing down, therefore forcing a by-election in his constituency of Norwich. Mr Eagle Eye is not predicting a Labour victory.
As for the results of the local elections, Labour are haemorraging local councillors and councils. They are yet to win or hold a local council and have lost four councils so far. Their net loss of councillors stands at present at a staggering 108. The Conservatives have well and truly taken Labour to the abbatoir, hence the squealing! Music to Mr Eagle Eye's ears! And may it please continue, I am enjoying this. The Liberal Democrats are hanging in there but are taking losses to the Tories.
And lastly, the cyclops has showed just how crazed and blind he really is in giving Alan Sugar a peerage. The only reason that Alan Sugar is getting this is because of his celebrity status thanks to the Apprentice. If this show was not around, Alan Sugar wouldn't have had a sniff at such titles. His role is to give the government will be to 'advise them on business issues'. Sureley he could have been doing that without being given a peerage. This is a preposterous, pathetic attempt at populism by the Prime Mentalist, and the public will see right through it. Alan Sugar is unlikley to benefit from this either.
Brown is Losing It, Losing his Cabinet, Losing his Party, Losing his Country.
John Hutton has quit! The bubbly must be flowing at CCHQ! If I wasn't at work, I, Mr Eagle Eye, would be opening up another beer! More later! We haven't seen the last of this peckery!
Mr Eagle Eye is starting to take a curious look down his sharp beak at ConservativeHome. Whilst of course awaiting the official word from the big media boys Sky and BBC, here are some of their almost fantastical updates:
"Tamworth has counted and we won all six county seats from Labour in Tamworth borough. Labour now has no county councillors in the seat. We do not need to win any more county seats across Staffs to take control for first time since 1981. Labour and Brian Jenkins looked shell shocked."
"Tories won all four Canterbury seats. Labour beaten into fourth place in every seat, behind Greens."
"Doncaster Mayoral final will be between English Democrats and an independent. So much for a Labour stronghold!"
"Surrey is now a Labour-free zone."
"Tom Garrod, a nineteen year-old Conservative with cerebral palsy has won in Great Yarmouth." Good job kid, Mr Eagle Eye is proud of you.
"Eleven gains in Devon for the Conservatives, ten from the LDs. DEVON SET TO GO BLUE."
What Clegg said in PMQ's was absolutley right. The real battle is between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats, with Labour getting trampled underfoot in the melee.
Mr Eagle Eye has awoken to some rather nice figures.
In Lincolnshire, Labour finished with 4 seats, compared to 5 for the Liberal Democrats, 8 for Others, and an immense 60 for the Conservatives.
It gets worse for Labour. In Central Bedfordshire, they failed to win a single seat, leaving the Lib Dems on 11, and the Conservaives on 54. Others drew 1.
At this rate, Labour will need divine intervention to even come third.
The majority of Local Election results are due today, and we will see an insight into the damage done to Brown and his poisonous cabal. This is getting exciting!
Mr Eagle Eye is about to retreat to the nest to try to get two hours of sleep before work tomorrow morning, but if something exciting comes up in the meantime, I shall flap me feathers and post about it!
Let's recap some of tonight's highlights:
The Liberal Democrats have officially won Bristol. Labour lost 8 seats, four to the Conservatives, and four to the Lib Dems.
Lincolnshire is looking to be a massacre, with the Conservatives so far gaining 15 seats, 13 of those from Labour.
Labour are also getting mauled in Eastbourne, finishing behind the likes of the Greens and Independants.
David Milliband will be a figure to watch tomorrow.
Nothing noteworthy to report for now. Mr Eagle Eye shall get his sleep and try to make sure he is fit for work, and more importantly, scathing and venemous posting.
It has been a fun evening for Mr Eagle Eye. More tomorrow! ***Update*** 03:35 Mr Eagle Eye hopeth that ConservatieHome is not some kind of mythic fairy tale, for if what is said there is true, Gordogeddon will become a very firm possibility.
"Labour came last in every seat in Eastbourne behind Independents, Greens etc. 1037 Labour votes from 9 seats"
Labour behind the Greens?! Whilst not a fan at all of the Greens, Mr Eagle Eye is cackling like a chicken. That is just poetry right there! It's beginning to look more and more like, not if Labour are going to be destroyed, but how totally are they going to be destroyed?
***Update*** 03:15
ConservativeHome are posting the following:
"Its murder up in lincoln for Labour, Tories have now gained 12 saets, labour lost 11. Tory vote up almost 10% labour down almost 20%"
"Harlow North Michael Garnett Conservative wins seat from Labour"
"Harlow North & Harlow SE called for the Conservatives in Essex"
"All 6 seats in Tamworth have been gained by the Tories from Labour with swings between 11.5% and 21%."
If this is indeed true, Gord must be soiling his nappies, and quite possibly contemplating the cyanide capsule.
Liberal Democrats gained 4 seats according to BBC, and 5 according to Sky.
Conservatives gained 4 seats.
Labour lost 8 or 9 seats depending on your preferred media station.But whichever way you look at it, the Labour piggery is headed for the abbatoir, and Mr Eagle Eye looks forward to hearing them squeal!
Upon further inspection, the BBC were correct. The official Bristol City Council site shows the Liberal Democrats gained 4. Sky, get your act together, lest Mr Eagle Eye give you a stern talking to via his pontiferous beak!
***Update*** 02:25
Tamworth is swinging over to the blue side:
"Six declared wards, six gains from Labour. Not bad."
At the moment, it seems to be going all Tory. Where are the Liberal Democrats?
Thank God for ConservativeHome. Everyone else is either useless or asleep!
***Update*** 02:15
Just a quick thought from I, the ever insightful Mr Eagle Eye. It's looking awesome for the Tories in Lincolnshire and Bristol. But these are within their Southern citadel. The grim lands of T'up North will be where they may find the going gets tough.
No UKIP victories yet, but Mr Eagle Eye has faith!
***Update*** 02:00
Lincolnshire looks to be going all blue:
"8 declared, Tories won all 8 gaining 4."
It is tempting to not refer to this as a battle for Labour, but a total massacre. Still, early days!
***Update** 01:55
It appears to Mr Eagle Eye it is only the fellows at ConservativeHome who are staying awake! Then again, it is the Tories who have the most to gain from Labour's self-inflicted wounds.
"Grantham has gone all blue!!!"
"Labour are being crucified. I wonder whether they will be fifth in the Euros?"
"we've taken the henbury ward in Bristol. Good show."
"its official we have St Georges east. BNP 2nd, labour 3rd, LD's 4th."
Nothing yet on Sky or BBC. If Gord lasts the week, Mr Eagle Eye will be very surprised, very surprised indeed!
***Update*** 01:45
From ConservativeHome:
"Just back from count of the 6 Broxbourne divisions of Herts County council. Conservatives won all 6, Labour vote collapsed in all but 1 ward. B£P second in 4 divisions and a close third in hte other 2. Labour fell from 2nd to fourth in a number of wards. I don’t have the full figures available at present."
Again, figures not released officially, but this is looking very satisfying.
***Update*** 00:55
Unconfirmed report from ConservativeHome!
"CCHQ tell me that we have won St George East, Bristol, from Labour, with a swing of more than 9%. Hurrah!"
"CCHQ now reporting that Labour may lose all ten of the seats it is defending in Bristol."
First blood? It's looking good!
***Update*** 00:45
Whilst Mr Eagle Eye preens his feathers and keeps his beak all shiny, a blog by John Prescott has drawn his attention, in which be blasts the Labour cabinet. It makes for an entertaining read. Here are a selection of his comments:
"It seems the people responsible for our campaign were resigned to defeat and were prepared to use the excuse that we had no money."
"Well you ‘got out’ Hazel but it sure as hell didn’t help our candidates get people out to vote Labour. Neither did brandishing cheques and wearing your heart on your brooch. You weren’t ‘rocking the boat’ you were trying to sink our ship."
"I’ve fought 11 General Elections and let me tell you, if we fight the next one like this campaign, we’ll be out for a generation."
Prescott has been invisible through pretty much all this, and has been the least magnetic for scandal and criticism for a while. Mr Eagle Eye views his as the most worthy member in the Labour government. But Labour will fall, as will Prescott, and Mr Eagle Eye will not be sorry for him.
***Update*** 00:15
"Good reports for Conservatives from Staffordshire" as per ConservativeHome. My Eagle Eye is salivating inbetween swigs of Carlsberg!
***Update*** 00:01
The bookies already have their odds on, with Alan Johnson is the current favourite to succeed the cyclops. Mr Eagle Eye has a feeling that it might be Harriet Harman who takes the reins of the three-legged horse.
***Update*** 23:40
Milliband may quit tomorrow, reports the Spectator Coffee House! Things are looking very interesting, with Mr Eagle Eye flapping his wings in anticipation! This is still in the rumour stage, but expect anything!
***Update*** 23:30
Another Labour MP has called for Gordon Brown to go! This time it is Graham Allen who is calling for the Prime Mentalist to take the 'honorable way out'. Brown has repeatedly proved to Mr Eagle Eye that he has no honour. "Of course, the first decision of the new Prime Minister would be when is the next General Election going to be". The plot thickens!
